I think i OBG for sleeping right after eating that bcm.. in the end, the reflux came back. Disliked it when i couldn't enjoy eating anything.
Was at CQ steamboat on friday, but didn't eat as much as i used to.. and it didn't taste as nice as it used to be.. plus, it now cost more and more, from $12 to $15 and to $18. Price is also part of my utility curve.
Wondered what happened to the used-to-be very nice train station of the west side.. nowadays, it get quite messy during the book out time, then conglomerate here and there also. I still prefer the trip back.. at least i need not siam the crowd.
Pract was, only 6 of us, but each a different instrument. It was quite unique sounding, and we've got all range covered. Did scales on "i recommend", just as the sec school days, but with a better reach of the higher octave. It's been quite a while since i started playing on the horn.. to be exact, almost 12 years. Certain things are already programmed, and without realizing, it just occur naturally. But of coz, there are certain other things which didn't.. and really, practice makes permanent. If practice on the wrong thing, it will make the wrong thing permanent.
It was not as interesting as compared to playing scores, but with the number we got, i think it can sound very bad playing any written piece. A time for us to really look at the fundamentals and work on the skills we lack.
And what is lacking in my horn playing is the intonation between each note. The horn, like some of the other brass instrument (except the tbone) doesn't have a perfect pitch. There are some innate "flaws" which the instrument tends to sound out on certain notes. There are compensation to be made, but sometimes too much, and sometimes too little. And when there are other things to take note of, it can be difficult to keep a perfect pitch on a imperfect instrument. So when it gets "programmed", it can be taken off the equation. Some of the string players got very good intonation regardless which scale they are on.. and it seems to occur to them naturally. Who knows how many years they've trained on these.
I started late on horn playing, and taught by my seniors who were not professionals too. I don't mean to undermine them (i'm actually very grateful to all my seniors who taught me), but that is what our system can offer us. And being in a school that doesn't focus on the band, we didn't get the additional training require. I guess the reason why some of the national orch still need external players is that we didn't start from young (that's why we really lose out). My parents are not inclined to music, and so my actual "training" began when i was 12.. it was already very late. And then the quality of training also wasn't that good. When i moved on to jc, it got worse.. i actually switched instrument to fill the gap.. then i lost touch during my NS days due to working shifts and braces and also their refusal to grant me a chance to play in the first place (which thankfully they didn't.. hahaa.. i think i gained more being a SA).
Now i can't learn as well le.. as shown by my declining grades.. haha.. and i wonder how am i going to catch up. I don't mean to go pro, but i hoped to be able to deliver when called upon, and to keep up just not to hinder the rest of the group.
Thankful for all these challenges and disappointing stunts and also the chance to be exposed to orch music. It made me want to learn (for the moment) and re-learn. Perhaps what i need most is how to overcome the nerve factor. Even though i don't get 750k for a medal, i still can get kan cheong when i got some exposed parts to play.
Well.. it seems i like to niam a lot about pract these days.. lol.
Showing posts with label Past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Past. Show all posts
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
That Cup of Tea
3am, and i still couldn't get to sleep. Must be that cup of tea, or so i thought.
Listening to the piano version of Tifa's theme of my blog at this hour with my earphone, it just felt so different.
Been quite a while since i've cleared all my modules, and yet, it seems like just not long ago.
Was with the rest of the then warlords, including ah gong zm for lunch today. Was talking about the days when we used to crub, even when we've got lessons to attend the following day. After school, we'll go to the clementi K-box (was still very new then) and sang until evening. It was so fun being a student. How i missed those days. Now that the rest of them are all working, sometimes it can be difficult to coordinate the time even for lunch. For now at least, i've been able to.. but, who knows what when i start working? Maybe for some reason, i might end up where i don't want to.
Today the village chief was not happy with one of the staff of the chocolate factory... coz that guy chute pattern to the customers coz there were "too many" of them.. "too many" by his standards, and so he was unhappy having to serve the customers.. i think he threw the chocolates to the customers wor. It was in fact, just 3 customers altogether.. not a lot by industry standards. In fact, he should be happy there are still people buying at this time of the year. Sometime ago, he already chute pattern le.. as if he was the pro like that. Maybe due to his experience, the rest of the staff couldn't challenge his position, and therefore, he was made the manager. Manager supposed to have CRM.. but he chased away customers like that. Some of the customers bothered to give feedback, and so it was known what he did (and didn't).
A new road was being built just opposite my block.. which means, they are really going to build "that hub" le. NIMBY lei.. But it seems, the pasture is always greener on the other side. People just like to compare and be envious (with no regards to any skeleton). So.. how come other people de estate kept increasing in value while ours are being made into "that hub"? LOL.. if life is fair, then we are no different to communism liao le. That said, people don't have any obligation for anything.. becoz they don't owe. Maybe it applies to moral obligations too.
That day while "chilling" at my void deck (like some ah zek like that), i saw a lady from the terrace with 4 dogs (!) of various sizes came over to the patch of grass opposite my block to let her dogs ease themselves. So inconsiderate lor.. there is a park built for them, yet they want to come over. Is our grass greener? No wonder people can step on dog poo. 4 poos leh.. how to siam? Then i saw another mini schnauzer just like pakki. Salt and pepper de.. and is female de.. and her behaviour is just like pakki lor.. lol.. all schnauzers, same pattern. She is smart too.. coz when she knows it's time to go back, she refuses to get into the lift.. haha.. so smart leh.
Pakki seems happy these days, coz he got into a nice village. Even grandpa and grandma dotes on him. The same to pakki's cousin coffee. He too got a nice village that cares and protects him. But sometimes, too doting can be quite harmful to the dog.. just the other day, the village chief open some durians (given by some friend of his) for pakki to eat, coz he was sniffing at the durian.. and that pakki liked it so much that he kept bugging us for more. The point is.. the durian was opened for pakki.. and we just happen to be able to eat coz pakki couldn't eat so much.. lol.. what is happening to the packing order? That pakki ar.. is making my mum laugh so much.. and i'm so glad that my sis chose him (ok la.. he was the only mini schnauzer left.. but who cares?).
My remaining hermies are quite well too, though i no longer fuss around them that much le.. perhaps i'm used to them doing their routine. Venti went into molting for the 3rd time in the year, and i haven't seen it for quite a while. Grande was alone in the large tank now that i've iso venti.. i don't want another case of cannibalism wor.
I'm just trying to make myself tired so that i can have a good sleep, so this entry was kind of messy.
Listening to the piano version of Tifa's theme of my blog at this hour with my earphone, it just felt so different.
Been quite a while since i've cleared all my modules, and yet, it seems like just not long ago.
Was with the rest of the then warlords, including ah gong zm for lunch today. Was talking about the days when we used to crub, even when we've got lessons to attend the following day. After school, we'll go to the clementi K-box (was still very new then) and sang until evening. It was so fun being a student. How i missed those days. Now that the rest of them are all working, sometimes it can be difficult to coordinate the time even for lunch. For now at least, i've been able to.. but, who knows what when i start working? Maybe for some reason, i might end up where i don't want to.
Today the village chief was not happy with one of the staff of the chocolate factory... coz that guy chute pattern to the customers coz there were "too many" of them.. "too many" by his standards, and so he was unhappy having to serve the customers.. i think he threw the chocolates to the customers wor. It was in fact, just 3 customers altogether.. not a lot by industry standards. In fact, he should be happy there are still people buying at this time of the year. Sometime ago, he already chute pattern le.. as if he was the pro like that. Maybe due to his experience, the rest of the staff couldn't challenge his position, and therefore, he was made the manager. Manager supposed to have CRM.. but he chased away customers like that. Some of the customers bothered to give feedback, and so it was known what he did (and didn't).
A new road was being built just opposite my block.. which means, they are really going to build "that hub" le. NIMBY lei.. But it seems, the pasture is always greener on the other side. People just like to compare and be envious (with no regards to any skeleton). So.. how come other people de estate kept increasing in value while ours are being made into "that hub"? LOL.. if life is fair, then we are no different to communism liao le. That said, people don't have any obligation for anything.. becoz they don't owe. Maybe it applies to moral obligations too.
That day while "chilling" at my void deck (like some ah zek like that), i saw a lady from the terrace with 4 dogs (!) of various sizes came over to the patch of grass opposite my block to let her dogs ease themselves. So inconsiderate lor.. there is a park built for them, yet they want to come over. Is our grass greener? No wonder people can step on dog poo. 4 poos leh.. how to siam? Then i saw another mini schnauzer just like pakki. Salt and pepper de.. and is female de.. and her behaviour is just like pakki lor.. lol.. all schnauzers, same pattern. She is smart too.. coz when she knows it's time to go back, she refuses to get into the lift.. haha.. so smart leh.
Pakki seems happy these days, coz he got into a nice village. Even grandpa and grandma dotes on him. The same to pakki's cousin coffee. He too got a nice village that cares and protects him. But sometimes, too doting can be quite harmful to the dog.. just the other day, the village chief open some durians (given by some friend of his) for pakki to eat, coz he was sniffing at the durian.. and that pakki liked it so much that he kept bugging us for more. The point is.. the durian was opened for pakki.. and we just happen to be able to eat coz pakki couldn't eat so much.. lol.. what is happening to the packing order? That pakki ar.. is making my mum laugh so much.. and i'm so glad that my sis chose him (ok la.. he was the only mini schnauzer left.. but who cares?).
My remaining hermies are quite well too, though i no longer fuss around them that much le.. perhaps i'm used to them doing their routine. Venti went into molting for the 3rd time in the year, and i haven't seen it for quite a while. Grande was alone in the large tank now that i've iso venti.. i don't want another case of cannibalism wor.
I'm just trying to make myself tired so that i can have a good sleep, so this entry was kind of messy.
Monday, April 14, 2008
My Academic Profile
14th April - another month, and it'll be the beginning of the end of my life as a student.
30 days is quite a lot, that is if i study everyday. Based on past experience (and results) i ended up studying only for a week or so.. lol.. well then again, nothing is impossible.. i've been boring myself for the past 3 days with some of the dino era games.. just so that studying will appear relatively interesting. As usual, it's the same reason that made me able to score only 7/100.
16 bit de wor.. lol.. where to find?
Thankfully, i'm all done with them.. at least this time round, it's not in between the papers. I'm always envious of those who can quarantine themselves during the exams period.. really wow-ing wor. I know i won't be able to.. not in the past, not now, and surely not in the future. I don't like to study, and i don't do it.. it's a fact.
I do have my own share of achievements too. At least i did well during my secondary 2.. lol.. and since then, it's all the way chwee. Perhaps too complacent le.. becoz, i know i can.. it's just that i don't want (academically). And this was to become my bad habit, and it triggers off a chain reaction.. until i finally got delayed for the 1st time. My 1st failure was during jc.. i practically failed all my physics papers.. excpet the only one which is the actual 'A' level exam. I spent 1 hour going through the paper, and the rest of the 2 hours playing with my calculator.. lol.. then i still didn't dare to walk out of the exams hall halfway. Then i got through the 'A' level just like that.. with passes in all my papers, but not good enough for entry into the then 2 local uni. Retook 2 more times, but gave up halfway as usual.
Then came uni year 2.. as if don't know what happened.. i failed 3 out of 4 papers.. walked out of one, absent for another, and did half for the 3rd. Year 3 was average.. though i finally got 2 lowers.. but i did forgo one of the paper again.. and that was the 'hidden module' that i'll be repeating this year. Actually after the year 2 exams, i already knew that there'll be a 4th year for me.. coz i wasn't allowed to squeeze all the modules into my 3rd year.. 3 is just 1 too much. Anyway, hopefully by recalling what brought me to where i am, perhaps i could really put more effort in my coming papers. The keyword is 'more'.
30 days is quite a lot, that is if i study everyday. Based on past experience (and results) i ended up studying only for a week or so.. lol.. well then again, nothing is impossible.. i've been boring myself for the past 3 days with some of the dino era games.. just so that studying will appear relatively interesting. As usual, it's the same reason that made me able to score only 7/100.
16 bit de wor.. lol.. where to find?
Thankfully, i'm all done with them.. at least this time round, it's not in between the papers. I'm always envious of those who can quarantine themselves during the exams period.. really wow-ing wor. I know i won't be able to.. not in the past, not now, and surely not in the future. I don't like to study, and i don't do it.. it's a fact.
I do have my own share of achievements too. At least i did well during my secondary 2.. lol.. and since then, it's all the way chwee. Perhaps too complacent le.. becoz, i know i can.. it's just that i don't want (academically). And this was to become my bad habit, and it triggers off a chain reaction.. until i finally got delayed for the 1st time. My 1st failure was during jc.. i practically failed all my physics papers.. excpet the only one which is the actual 'A' level exam. I spent 1 hour going through the paper, and the rest of the 2 hours playing with my calculator.. lol.. then i still didn't dare to walk out of the exams hall halfway. Then i got through the 'A' level just like that.. with passes in all my papers, but not good enough for entry into the then 2 local uni. Retook 2 more times, but gave up halfway as usual.
Then came uni year 2.. as if don't know what happened.. i failed 3 out of 4 papers.. walked out of one, absent for another, and did half for the 3rd. Year 3 was average.. though i finally got 2 lowers.. but i did forgo one of the paper again.. and that was the 'hidden module' that i'll be repeating this year. Actually after the year 2 exams, i already knew that there'll be a 4th year for me.. coz i wasn't allowed to squeeze all the modules into my 3rd year.. 3 is just 1 too much. Anyway, hopefully by recalling what brought me to where i am, perhaps i could really put more effort in my coming papers. The keyword is 'more'.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
By Default
Tomorrow no orchestra practice wor~ or should i say today? (it's 12.20 am on a saturady le) Saturday and i'm free.. it's just so rare. Since quite some time ago, i've not been complaining about practices.. the only thing i complained was the distance.. hahaa.. yalor.. they say, the greatest distance is when you need to travel to another part of sg and can't reach it in 1.5 hours.. zzz. Yet, it seems that i've accustomed to it.. and saturdays are 'by default'.
A bit not used to having my saturdays free wor.. lol.. especially when travelling takes up 3 hours.. maybe tomorrow i practice at home ba. Heard my neighbour played the horn again.. and it sounds so good le. Last time like noob, now more pro than me le.. haha. Even though i had my 190 with me, it seems just collecting dust lo.. Written: 10 years of experience.. but actually, i only played it once in a blue moon.. and given the 4 years that i've got my braces, i didn't really get so involved. Maybe afterall, the only time that counted was just that 1 or 2 years lo.
Been used to playing in Bb horn all the way (and making the F horn rather redundant IMO..).. but now, this bad habit is making me out of tune. By default, the lower range will be sharper in Bb horn. So when i tuned the middle E, i was tuned sharp.. but only the 1st 3 notes. The rest of the higher end all turned flat. In the end tried so hard to 'sharpen' the notes, but no longer could.. it was easier to make it flat with the use of the right hand and of coz, embouchure.
It was strange.. while i was playing horn all these while, i kept wanting to play trumpet.. but then during my 2 years in YJ band as a trumpet player, i kept wanting to play the horn.. ahahhaa.. the pasture seems greener on the other side hor? Always so. Maybe i don't know what i want.. or maybe everything i also want.. haha.
Don't know why i niam so much.. hahaa.. maybe nothing more 'interesting' to blog lo..
A bit not used to having my saturdays free wor.. lol.. especially when travelling takes up 3 hours.. maybe tomorrow i practice at home ba. Heard my neighbour played the horn again.. and it sounds so good le. Last time like noob, now more pro than me le.. haha. Even though i had my 190 with me, it seems just collecting dust lo.. Written: 10 years of experience.. but actually, i only played it once in a blue moon.. and given the 4 years that i've got my braces, i didn't really get so involved. Maybe afterall, the only time that counted was just that 1 or 2 years lo.
Been used to playing in Bb horn all the way (and making the F horn rather redundant IMO..).. but now, this bad habit is making me out of tune. By default, the lower range will be sharper in Bb horn. So when i tuned the middle E, i was tuned sharp.. but only the 1st 3 notes. The rest of the higher end all turned flat. In the end tried so hard to 'sharpen' the notes, but no longer could.. it was easier to make it flat with the use of the right hand and of coz, embouchure.
It was strange.. while i was playing horn all these while, i kept wanting to play trumpet.. but then during my 2 years in YJ band as a trumpet player, i kept wanting to play the horn.. ahahhaa.. the pasture seems greener on the other side hor? Always so. Maybe i don't know what i want.. or maybe everything i also want.. haha.
Don't know why i niam so much.. hahaa.. maybe nothing more 'interesting' to blog lo..
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Eve of the Eve
30th of december liao.. and sadly, even the eve of the new year's seems extremely bad.
Went for saturday class, and was supposed to pay for my membership fees, but then, there's still 60 more people to go. So i took a queue number, and then went for class. Halfway, went back to customer service.. and then, the door was locked! So damn disgusting lor.. and what's more infuriating was that, i was only 4 numbers away.. and i couldn't get in.. want to clear my debt before the new year also cannot. Stupid lousy service this school has. LOL.. luckily i wasn't in the uni under its name.. i'm under UOL.. wahaha.. even if it suffers a loss of reputation due to the lousy staff, it doesn't affect the credibility of my degree. Really see no service. Customer service? My foot.
Today FI is a total waste of time. Lesson ended around 3.20pm.. haha.. coz it's new year's eve eve. After class, stayed in school to study.. coz got to attend band practice later. Tried to study, but the workers are busy drilling for the incoming escalator. For what i also don't understand. The building so small, have escalator no escalator also no difference.. they think its shopping centre meh? Small until during the peak period, want to find a seat also cannot. And they still want to attract people from the corporate sector? I say, do something la..
Everything was closed on a weekend... so i didn't have time to have my dinner. I was late.. never imagine the bus took me so long to reach boonlay. Hungry already very pek chek le.. go band still got pattern to see. And i did a headcount. 16 only.. since when did this band got reduced to this kind of status le? I felt so sad.. coz it did shine. But since ms chua left.. its been downhill all all all the way. 16.. same as my jc band. Sometimes.. you really must have the people before you can start talking about other things. But suan le la.. i already promised.
But there, there are really some of them who really can teach me a lot. Especially when so many of them are working in the banking sector. And the more they tell me.. the more i feel that my personality can't take the stress of the environment. LOL.. it was worse than i thought.. starting to have regrets taking this degree le.. haha.
But then, based on sales, the upside potential is unlimited.. really unlimited. The money is definately good, but i don't know if this is the kind of life i want. But think of it.. after spending so much, the only rational move is to work in the relevant sector.. if not, i might as well go work after o levels le..
Didn't wish to get influenced.. but after this sem, school life is officially over.
Went for saturday class, and was supposed to pay for my membership fees, but then, there's still 60 more people to go. So i took a queue number, and then went for class. Halfway, went back to customer service.. and then, the door was locked! So damn disgusting lor.. and what's more infuriating was that, i was only 4 numbers away.. and i couldn't get in.. want to clear my debt before the new year also cannot. Stupid lousy service this school has. LOL.. luckily i wasn't in the uni under its name.. i'm under UOL.. wahaha.. even if it suffers a loss of reputation due to the lousy staff, it doesn't affect the credibility of my degree. Really see no service. Customer service? My foot.
Today FI is a total waste of time. Lesson ended around 3.20pm.. haha.. coz it's new year's eve eve. After class, stayed in school to study.. coz got to attend band practice later. Tried to study, but the workers are busy drilling for the incoming escalator. For what i also don't understand. The building so small, have escalator no escalator also no difference.. they think its shopping centre meh? Small until during the peak period, want to find a seat also cannot. And they still want to attract people from the corporate sector? I say, do something la..
Everything was closed on a weekend... so i didn't have time to have my dinner. I was late.. never imagine the bus took me so long to reach boonlay. Hungry already very pek chek le.. go band still got pattern to see. And i did a headcount. 16 only.. since when did this band got reduced to this kind of status le? I felt so sad.. coz it did shine. But since ms chua left.. its been downhill all all all the way. 16.. same as my jc band. Sometimes.. you really must have the people before you can start talking about other things. But suan le la.. i already promised.
But there, there are really some of them who really can teach me a lot. Especially when so many of them are working in the banking sector. And the more they tell me.. the more i feel that my personality can't take the stress of the environment. LOL.. it was worse than i thought.. starting to have regrets taking this degree le.. haha.
But then, based on sales, the upside potential is unlimited.. really unlimited. The money is definately good, but i don't know if this is the kind of life i want. But think of it.. after spending so much, the only rational move is to work in the relevant sector.. if not, i might as well go work after o levels le..
Didn't wish to get influenced.. but after this sem, school life is officially over.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Triggered
While waiting for the sumptuous dinner appointment, i was triggered by some things i read online. Began searching through my old entries.. and i discovered the changes for the past 2 years.
Nowadays, i seldom blog about how i feel.. all the entries are about what i did. It seems, i've "slowed down in growth" recently. Have things become so "peaceful" that there need no attention to alter my personality? Well.. i guess not. Some things have changed.. while some things remain. Once a while.. i still can see the same problems surfacing. I'm not so ignorant as to not know what i did was not acceptable.. but sometimes, our own ego got the better. Or should i say.. it always? Well.. but i'm certain, i ain't the only 1.. i've seen worse. But eventually.. it's about myself.. so i guess, i have to be aware even before it start acting up again.
I chose to avoid the emotion part is just because.. implied things are so weird.. The irony is that, the more i try to avoid misrepresenting, the more people tends to misunderstand.
But looking back.. i do understand myself better.. and i do see changes, however minute.
It's all about ups and downs.. and however bad the situation is.. we just have to manage it. (Learnt in FI today) Of coz.. it's also about relativity.. things only move when there is a cycle. There might be no peak in how happy a person can be.. but there is something else at work - Marginal Returns.
I don't know.. but i dread the cycle. The moment something goes up, it's going to come down.
There are so many things that i've realised, yet those are already discovered.
Perhaps life is plain without expectations. No expectations, no disappointment.. yet no expectations, there'll be no motivation.. but i rather wait for something to happen.. Just don't give me those dramatic scenario lor.. haha.. my heart can't take it.
Entries being so heavily coded that i've forgotten what i've been complaining about.. haha.. it's really quite difficult to read.. lol.
Basically.. what i'm trying to say is.. things have been more or less settled that i'm starting to get bored. But i don't want to be disappointed by having expecting something to happen. Actually.. i don't even know what i want now..
Nowadays, i seldom blog about how i feel.. all the entries are about what i did. It seems, i've "slowed down in growth" recently. Have things become so "peaceful" that there need no attention to alter my personality? Well.. i guess not. Some things have changed.. while some things remain. Once a while.. i still can see the same problems surfacing. I'm not so ignorant as to not know what i did was not acceptable.. but sometimes, our own ego got the better. Or should i say.. it always? Well.. but i'm certain, i ain't the only 1.. i've seen worse. But eventually.. it's about myself.. so i guess, i have to be aware even before it start acting up again.
I chose to avoid the emotion part is just because.. implied things are so weird.. The irony is that, the more i try to avoid misrepresenting, the more people tends to misunderstand.
But looking back.. i do understand myself better.. and i do see changes, however minute.
It's all about ups and downs.. and however bad the situation is.. we just have to manage it. (Learnt in FI today) Of coz.. it's also about relativity.. things only move when there is a cycle. There might be no peak in how happy a person can be.. but there is something else at work - Marginal Returns.
I don't know.. but i dread the cycle. The moment something goes up, it's going to come down.
There are so many things that i've realised, yet those are already discovered.
Perhaps life is plain without expectations. No expectations, no disappointment.. yet no expectations, there'll be no motivation.. but i rather wait for something to happen.. Just don't give me those dramatic scenario lor.. haha.. my heart can't take it.
Entries being so heavily coded that i've forgotten what i've been complaining about.. haha.. it's really quite difficult to read.. lol.
Basically.. what i'm trying to say is.. things have been more or less settled that i'm starting to get bored. But i don't want to be disappointed by having expecting something to happen. Actually.. i don't even know what i want now..
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Mugging All the Way
Busy with all sorts of things. And till i don't think i have spare capacity to think of anything to blog.. i'll just put an entry to de-stress.
Been in school these days to catch the bug flu.. and i've caught it. Victim no.3 they told me.. Not in the time like this.. Been mugging all day long till 11pm with zx and till 9pm with the rest of the economist.. I just need a place to study.. that's all. But it wasn't effective in a big party.. too many distractions and no opportunity to gain. But no choice.. the school was so small and crowded till i almost exploded everytime i stepped into the foodcourt during lunch hours.. imagine waiting 10mins to pay for a piece of mango?
Must be the effect of the npians or don't know what they call themselves.. But.. don't they have a canteen of their own? I don't mind sharing buses with them and missing 3 or more buses because they are full of NPians during the morning peak. But not during lunch time lor... Damn! We only have 1 hour to find a seat and queue and finish our food before lessons start.. and after we found a seat, we'll find that the queue could be as long as the Dragon trail. kns la.. their school don't have food meh? Don't have then eat grass lor.. they have a pitch and we don't.
Anyway.. trying to reduce bad karma now.. so cannot curse so much. Later the Ah N's charm will work against me.
Been tired.. very tired studying.. i really don't like studying.. neither do i like working.. i just want to nua.. but i guess.. not anymore. Then i realised.. i've been sloppy in everything.. i don't fight for what i want.. was because i didn't want it badly.. no.. not such where i must put in effort and calculations.. i was always depending on luck. But then i realised.. it always takes lots of effort.. lots more than i've been known to.. after seeing how the year 1s mug for their exams.. it was very hiong.
Thought of a story: The Beer Story. Here goes..
It started with a beer.. and it ends with a beer. THE END.
I think this beer has created much chaos.. and i might have created some chaos too. I'm not guilty.. i'm just feeling bad. And that's all.. nothing else. It starts and it ends and that's all.
Been in school these days to catch the bug flu.. and i've caught it. Victim no.3 they told me.. Not in the time like this.. Been mugging all day long till 11pm with zx and till 9pm with the rest of the economist.. I just need a place to study.. that's all. But it wasn't effective in a big party.. too many distractions and no opportunity to gain. But no choice.. the school was so small and crowded till i almost exploded everytime i stepped into the foodcourt during lunch hours.. imagine waiting 10mins to pay for a piece of mango?
Must be the effect of the npians or don't know what they call themselves.. But.. don't they have a canteen of their own? I don't mind sharing buses with them and missing 3 or more buses because they are full of NPians during the morning peak. But not during lunch time lor... Damn! We only have 1 hour to find a seat and queue and finish our food before lessons start.. and after we found a seat, we'll find that the queue could be as long as the Dragon trail. kns la.. their school don't have food meh? Don't have then eat grass lor.. they have a pitch and we don't.
Anyway.. trying to reduce bad karma now.. so cannot curse so much. Later the Ah N's charm will work against me.
Been tired.. very tired studying.. i really don't like studying.. neither do i like working.. i just want to nua.. but i guess.. not anymore. Then i realised.. i've been sloppy in everything.. i don't fight for what i want.. was because i didn't want it badly.. no.. not such where i must put in effort and calculations.. i was always depending on luck. But then i realised.. it always takes lots of effort.. lots more than i've been known to.. after seeing how the year 1s mug for their exams.. it was very hiong.
Thought of a story: The Beer Story. Here goes..
It started with a beer.. and it ends with a beer. THE END.
I think this beer has created much chaos.. and i might have created some chaos too. I'm not guilty.. i'm just feeling bad. And that's all.. nothing else. It starts and it ends and that's all.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Some Thoughts...
I always think that parents are just being naggy when they say that i must brush my teeth.. 10 odd years later, i finally discover the reason. I mean.. when things happen at that moment in time, i won't be able to get it.. not at my level of understanding then. Wait till i grow up then.
How much the planet has changed.. and i wonder why.. which rule does it follow? I guess too much pop songs and channel 8 + U drama has made up too much of an actor on this stage of life. But 1 thing.. the local script really cmi.. haha.. the final episode of 'the mermaid' almost made want to bang the wall. Haha.. and that show renamed 'the mermaid'.. it only revolves around the mermaid.. or so i percieve.. maybe thats the only cast i took notice of in the whole show.. haha..
That day jade told me that every songs seems to be your song when you are down.. and then, it made me laugh.. coz i was thinking of the song 'xi shua shua' by the 'flower group'.. hahhaa.. and how about the pig song? lol.. My two weeks at home, i watched the tv all day long.. coz msn got nobody to chat with. Everyone is in school.. haha.. and then i saw lamb chops play along!. .waahaa.. that toopid puppet show.. but their jokes are very funny.. and its a very lame lamb..
And i thought only lambs know how to crack jokes.. And it haappened that day that my mum was telling me the kfc offer.. she said that theres a burger, chopstick and fries or don't know what.. yep.. she said chopstick instead of drumstick.. it made me blur.. haha.. since when did kfc serve things that require 1 to use chopstick? hahaa.. fried noodles?.. lol.
I'm just starting to love my wednesdays.. haha.. too bad thursday is my full day. Most probably i won't be going to school.. i hope not.. coz the exams are starting to worry me. And that sp always says it as though our mission here was to study.. erm.. haha.. i think i agree.. and i almost forgot. And two weeks at home.. i did my studying.. hahaha.. till i almost forgot how to write.
Since don't know when crubbing (yep.. spelt with the r) became the focus. Was it the liquor? Was it the songs? Was it the erm.. xiao mei meis? hahaa.. but it sure drained my pocket. Haha.. and all kept telling me that liquor is bad for health.. i know.. i know.. i'm not trying to kill myself with liquor. But i think it has become a problem and maybe an addiction.. i'm not sure. It all started since that welfare chalet.. i used to anti-liquor.. now i only know how to empty liquor. Hahaa.. think need to enlist help to help me kick this habbit.. but difficult.. coz tt wm always kay siao come my place here say eat supper.. then went to 7-11 grab some beer and proceed to some void deck to drink.. hahaa.. at the age of 22, we are behaving like ah zeks.. hhaa..
At this age, i think i still won't understand, or refuse to understand. Maybe when someday i get some health problems than i'll regret.. but hey.. life is still great.. so must enjoy while it last. Another 1.5 years and i'll be in the workforce.. and then, it isn't about having fun.. coz after all i might return to the village stall.. i yearn a peaceful life.. slow and without conflict.. my utopia. But then.. with the villagers.. i don't think there is any chance of crubbing or that sort.. maybe pubing or what..
Things just keeps changing.. and nothing ever stops.. the keys are plenty and the paths many. One wrong move and thats the end. I hate changes yet i can't help. haha.. like i used to hate crubbings.. drinkings.. gamblings.. and now? haiz.. i must be jinxed.. haha... well well.. at least i don't smoke? haha.. not for now.. not forever i hope.(FYI, hope is just something say say only. No matter you hope or don't hope, things have it ways around..) The one pharses that one passes is just like a checkpoint. Maybe for this phase we shared the same route.. yet going through different checkpoints, our route changes.. and maybe thats how things are. But 'sadly', i still have my buddy alongside.. hahaa.. i guess 7-11 still can earn a lot more from us.. haiz.
As i was saying.. the pop songs are too destructive to listen to.. lyrics are either too true or too lame.. (eg the mai- ya - hi.. argh.. even my dad is singing it.. ) so i turned back to the 'bright' side of band world! (oops.. that is the name of one of my instructors company..)..haha.. and one song really make me very happy. The 7th Night of July. Not because of the 7th month lar.. choy~!.. but coz i've got the melody!.. hahaa.. for all i know, i've been playing 'bom tat bom tat' and counter melody (CS).. haha.. finally. But only for a while.. and the toopid woodwinds and trumpets come in to spoil my show. Haha.. the horn is not a melody instrument.. but its a pure brass instrument. Not like some woodwinds that isn't made of wood and still dare to call themselves the woodwinds.. muahaha.. the only thing 'woody' about that is they reed.. almost 99% of metal.. well for all i know, i despise the woodwinds.. haha.. they always like to 'bully' in numbers.. yet can't do without them.. haha..
Band will be fun when i'm at the top.. i don't like to be stituations that i'm stuck.. especially when i don't know how to read the score or when i can't pitch the notes. Yet as i gained more experience, i can sight-read faster, pitch with a wider range and be happy about it. But during those days when i'm in trouble.. it makes me want to quit.. i have my ups and downs there.. and time when i skipped band coz i'm afriad to face the music.. literally.. haha.. but i still return.. and it only gets better.. i guess everything just played out already on a smaller scale. The final checkpoint will always be what i'm looking for.
I don't know why people keep doubting my capabilities.. do i look like a weakling? haha.. please.. what you can't do, didn't do doesn't mean i can't.. and of coz, what you can i might not.. but at least i don't doubt.. Anyway, the song of my blog is starting to irritate me.. and by 2006 i'll revamp my blog.. still think of the title... xiao hei's world? wiwiplanet? the witizens? or what.. haha.. maybe something that will shock the world..
As to the question of ipod vs zen, i think ipod might have won.. haha.. and maybe this week or next week i'll get it.. just as a xmas present for myself. hhahaa. . 18 days to xmas.. and i'm still waiting for my aww. . . haha.. awww..
How much the planet has changed.. and i wonder why.. which rule does it follow? I guess too much pop songs and channel 8 + U drama has made up too much of an actor on this stage of life. But 1 thing.. the local script really cmi.. haha.. the final episode of 'the mermaid' almost made want to bang the wall. Haha.. and that show renamed 'the mermaid'.. it only revolves around the mermaid.. or so i percieve.. maybe thats the only cast i took notice of in the whole show.. haha..
That day jade told me that every songs seems to be your song when you are down.. and then, it made me laugh.. coz i was thinking of the song 'xi shua shua' by the 'flower group'.. hahhaa.. and how about the pig song? lol.. My two weeks at home, i watched the tv all day long.. coz msn got nobody to chat with. Everyone is in school.. haha.. and then i saw lamb chops play along!. .waahaa.. that toopid puppet show.. but their jokes are very funny.. and its a very lame lamb..
And i thought only lambs know how to crack jokes.. And it haappened that day that my mum was telling me the kfc offer.. she said that theres a burger, chopstick and fries or don't know what.. yep.. she said chopstick instead of drumstick.. it made me blur.. haha.. since when did kfc serve things that require 1 to use chopstick? hahaa.. fried noodles?.. lol.
I'm just starting to love my wednesdays.. haha.. too bad thursday is my full day. Most probably i won't be going to school.. i hope not.. coz the exams are starting to worry me. And that sp always says it as though our mission here was to study.. erm.. haha.. i think i agree.. and i almost forgot. And two weeks at home.. i did my studying.. hahaha.. till i almost forgot how to write.
Since don't know when crubbing (yep.. spelt with the r) became the focus. Was it the liquor? Was it the songs? Was it the erm.. xiao mei meis? hahaa.. but it sure drained my pocket. Haha.. and all kept telling me that liquor is bad for health.. i know.. i know.. i'm not trying to kill myself with liquor. But i think it has become a problem and maybe an addiction.. i'm not sure. It all started since that welfare chalet.. i used to anti-liquor.. now i only know how to empty liquor. Hahaa.. think need to enlist help to help me kick this habbit.. but difficult.. coz tt wm always kay siao come my place here say eat supper.. then went to 7-11 grab some beer and proceed to some void deck to drink.. hahaa.. at the age of 22, we are behaving like ah zeks.. hhaa..
At this age, i think i still won't understand, or refuse to understand. Maybe when someday i get some health problems than i'll regret.. but hey.. life is still great.. so must enjoy while it last. Another 1.5 years and i'll be in the workforce.. and then, it isn't about having fun.. coz after all i might return to the village stall.. i yearn a peaceful life.. slow and without conflict.. my utopia. But then.. with the villagers.. i don't think there is any chance of crubbing or that sort.. maybe pubing or what..
Things just keeps changing.. and nothing ever stops.. the keys are plenty and the paths many. One wrong move and thats the end. I hate changes yet i can't help. haha.. like i used to hate crubbings.. drinkings.. gamblings.. and now? haiz.. i must be jinxed.. haha... well well.. at least i don't smoke? haha.. not for now.. not forever i hope.(FYI, hope is just something say say only. No matter you hope or don't hope, things have it ways around..) The one pharses that one passes is just like a checkpoint. Maybe for this phase we shared the same route.. yet going through different checkpoints, our route changes.. and maybe thats how things are. But 'sadly', i still have my buddy alongside.. hahaa.. i guess 7-11 still can earn a lot more from us.. haiz.
As i was saying.. the pop songs are too destructive to listen to.. lyrics are either too true or too lame.. (eg the mai- ya - hi.. argh.. even my dad is singing it.. ) so i turned back to the 'bright' side of band world! (oops.. that is the name of one of my instructors company..)..haha.. and one song really make me very happy. The 7th Night of July. Not because of the 7th month lar.. choy~!.. but coz i've got the melody!.. hahaa.. for all i know, i've been playing 'bom tat bom tat' and counter melody (CS).. haha.. finally. But only for a while.. and the toopid woodwinds and trumpets come in to spoil my show. Haha.. the horn is not a melody instrument.. but its a pure brass instrument. Not like some woodwinds that isn't made of wood and still dare to call themselves the woodwinds.. muahaha.. the only thing 'woody' about that is they reed.. almost 99% of metal.. well for all i know, i despise the woodwinds.. haha.. they always like to 'bully' in numbers.. yet can't do without them.. haha..
Band will be fun when i'm at the top.. i don't like to be stituations that i'm stuck.. especially when i don't know how to read the score or when i can't pitch the notes. Yet as i gained more experience, i can sight-read faster, pitch with a wider range and be happy about it. But during those days when i'm in trouble.. it makes me want to quit.. i have my ups and downs there.. and time when i skipped band coz i'm afriad to face the music.. literally.. haha.. but i still return.. and it only gets better.. i guess everything just played out already on a smaller scale. The final checkpoint will always be what i'm looking for.
I don't know why people keep doubting my capabilities.. do i look like a weakling? haha.. please.. what you can't do, didn't do doesn't mean i can't.. and of coz, what you can i might not.. but at least i don't doubt.. Anyway, the song of my blog is starting to irritate me.. and by 2006 i'll revamp my blog.. still think of the title... xiao hei's world? wiwiplanet? the witizens? or what.. haha.. maybe something that will shock the world..
As to the question of ipod vs zen, i think ipod might have won.. haha.. and maybe this week or next week i'll get it.. just as a xmas present for myself. hhahaa. . 18 days to xmas.. and i'm still waiting for my aww. . . haha.. awww..
Friday, April 15, 2005
Short Of Time
*Yawn... finally completed stats revision.. i wondered why i took so long.. almost a month for 0. units only... 3 weeks more.. and i still have 3.5 units to go.. where to find that kind of time? And when you've got everything planned, everything will go wrong. And just the day before, contact lense giving me problems again.. maybe i played too much with the line "argh~ my eyess~!!" Serve me right huh..
Suddenly don't find the time to think so much.. and might as well.. i might understand it someday. I hope i've thought it thoroughly this time round. It sure will have its effects.. not that i want to, but it will lead no where... nothing much. Things doesn't seem what they looked.. but it's already enough.. the point is.. i'm innocent!.. haha..
Anyway, now is the time to study.. retook my 'A' levels 2 times, and each is worse than the previous time.. but i was bugged that time.. didn't want it to happen again.. basically coz of the school fees.. haha.. its like erm.. 7 times more? Haha.. better not waste that kind of money.. i'm trying..
Ar... 3 more weeks.. 3.5 more units.. how can i finish it?
Suddenly don't find the time to think so much.. and might as well.. i might understand it someday. I hope i've thought it thoroughly this time round. It sure will have its effects.. not that i want to, but it will lead no where... nothing much. Things doesn't seem what they looked.. but it's already enough.. the point is.. i'm innocent!.. haha..
Anyway, now is the time to study.. retook my 'A' levels 2 times, and each is worse than the previous time.. but i was bugged that time.. didn't want it to happen again.. basically coz of the school fees.. haha.. its like erm.. 7 times more? Haha.. better not waste that kind of money.. i'm trying..
Ar... 3 more weeks.. 3.5 more units.. how can i finish it?
Saturday, April 09, 2005
The Start Of A New Era
Lol.. a new game to play.. hahaha... i don't know.. i don't feel interested.. not really interested.. not a mock.. But then again.. if there are people willing, i'll on them anytime. Lol.. i'd love to be fun loving.. lol.. but then again.. some stituations don't allow. Of course.. things happen.. sometimes i avoid.. sometimes i confront.. but never did i commit first. So.. i do reciprocate.. ponder about what i did.. and see if it seems familiar.... enough said..
Being in Ex-co.. lol.. certainly is not really that fun anymore. I guess.. it means responsibility and not fun. Maybe a mascot too? Haha.. i'm certainly rebellious.. against all odds.. i did lots. Back in secondary school days.. i quitted from the band committee coz of some reason.. lol.. and i don't see why i can't repeat this feat. This post is nothing but a burden to me.. But then again.. i've given my word.. so a promise i keep.
As always.. don't know how to reject.. now i've gotten myself into deep shit.. exams coming soon.. still have to prepare for another performance. And there'll be a practice later.. from 2pm to 9pm.. great.. i wasn't even that hardworking when it comes to study.. and not only that.. there'll be another on sunday. I guess.. i'll do badly this time round. Didn't attend mock.. never study.. and then.. all the shit want to come together.. time to repay my bad karma soon.
Another day studying in school.. and we all got a new title.. and i guess my parents should be glad.. lol... they say they'll rather have this than me.. hahah.. another day full of crap.. and then.. the introduction of witizens.. !! hahaa.. finally.. and the (not so) animated series of xiaohei will be out after exams.. lol...
Don't have much time.. seems to be agitated by anything and everything. Anyway.. don't have chance to regret. Said and done.. all should be and will be. Do not think otherwise.
Being in Ex-co.. lol.. certainly is not really that fun anymore. I guess.. it means responsibility and not fun. Maybe a mascot too? Haha.. i'm certainly rebellious.. against all odds.. i did lots. Back in secondary school days.. i quitted from the band committee coz of some reason.. lol.. and i don't see why i can't repeat this feat. This post is nothing but a burden to me.. But then again.. i've given my word.. so a promise i keep.
As always.. don't know how to reject.. now i've gotten myself into deep shit.. exams coming soon.. still have to prepare for another performance. And there'll be a practice later.. from 2pm to 9pm.. great.. i wasn't even that hardworking when it comes to study.. and not only that.. there'll be another on sunday. I guess.. i'll do badly this time round. Didn't attend mock.. never study.. and then.. all the shit want to come together.. time to repay my bad karma soon.
Another day studying in school.. and we all got a new title.. and i guess my parents should be glad.. lol... they say they'll rather have this than me.. hahah.. another day full of crap.. and then.. the introduction of witizens.. !! hahaa.. finally.. and the (not so) animated series of xiaohei will be out after exams.. lol...
Don't have much time.. seems to be agitated by anything and everything. Anyway.. don't have chance to regret. Said and done.. all should be and will be. Do not think otherwise.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
I Need A Break
I need a break.. actually i'm already having it. Didn't went for band practices for quite some time. Seems to me.. i don't know how to explain.. but the feeling isn't the same anymore. Was really excited about band during secondary and college days.. but now.. don't know why. Maybe they've changed.. maybe i have changed. It isn't bounded by school regulations anymore, and attendance is not complusory. Alumni and SWE. I know i haven't been responsible.. somehow or rather.. but i must ask.. are they? Nope.. i'm not shifting the blame.. and i know the management is trying very hard. It's the same for both side.. yet, this is a realist world. Without gain.. who wants to waste his time? Oops.. i've said too much. Haha.. but i never promise them anything.. only a "contract" till 2006 with Alumni. Rather disappointed with the turnout week after week.. and years after years. Maybe i need another miracle to rekindle my passion for band music. Don't push me.. i'll make me hate it even more.. and maybe i should "retire" from the band scene. No achievements yet, i'm just another amature player.. i know it myself.. and for people who thinks they are great.. it just shows the shallowness. LOL. Coz of the amount of effort needed in order to deliver the best.. and also the limit governed by talent, i've almost reached the peak.. and i'm still mediocre. And till that inspiration, i shall hold on.
As i was saying.. haha.. i need a break.. from band as well as from the mountains (and also --) I failed to conquer.. and couldn't afford another setback. I shall retreat. Maybe i'm too concerned about the ending.. maybe i'm just tired. Running away from -- consumed much of my energy. Maybe i'm not the one to scale it.. what i want is, a hill that i can fully protect and take care of.. not some ice mountain or volcano.. a field of bliss is that.. not some volcanic rock or ice kachang. Haaha.. yet i don't mean it'll remain that as always. Ice will eventually melt, and volcano will someday be inactive.. but till that happens, the field on that hill i shall seek.
Coz of my greedy life desire and my two lifetimes of bad karma.. i shall start clearing them now. I'll be good to everyone. Hahaha.. if i can help it.
Studies.. i've been hardworking. Studying in school often. Never been so hardworking (academics) in my life.. haha.. but i'm on schedule. And i'm content at that pace. I shall work for my future.. i want to set up a stall.. haha.. my own noodle stall..maybe can use the maths taught by "lima" to calculate the rate of change of the texture of the noodle with respect to time. Haha.. i'm starting again.. give me 3 lifetimes and it shall be the same!
As i was saying.. haha.. i need a break.. from band as well as from the mountains (and also --) I failed to conquer.. and couldn't afford another setback. I shall retreat. Maybe i'm too concerned about the ending.. maybe i'm just tired. Running away from -- consumed much of my energy. Maybe i'm not the one to scale it.. what i want is, a hill that i can fully protect and take care of.. not some ice mountain or volcano.. a field of bliss is that.. not some volcanic rock or ice kachang. Haaha.. yet i don't mean it'll remain that as always. Ice will eventually melt, and volcano will someday be inactive.. but till that happens, the field on that hill i shall seek.
Coz of my greedy life desire and my two lifetimes of bad karma.. i shall start clearing them now. I'll be good to everyone. Hahaha.. if i can help it.
Studies.. i've been hardworking. Studying in school often. Never been so hardworking (academics) in my life.. haha.. but i'm on schedule. And i'm content at that pace. I shall work for my future.. i want to set up a stall.. haha.. my own noodle stall..maybe can use the maths taught by "lima" to calculate the rate of change of the texture of the noodle with respect to time. Haha.. i'm starting again.. give me 3 lifetimes and it shall be the same!
Friday, October 01, 2004
Full of Emptiness
Attended lecture alone today coz skipped Thursday's lecture due to some reasons.. Maybe i think too much .. haha.. coz i seems to have a lot of questions regarding the things taught.. yet didn't want to raise it to avoid being "detected" by the lecturer.. haha. Anyway, i think my questions were rather stupid and irrelevant to the context. Kept bugging those around me.. i wanted to know.. Curious what.. Stayed in school to have lunch with my primary school friend after lessons.. But chose the wrong place to eat.. Coz we were studying at the same place after lunch and it was outside the Econs LT.. And i forgot... That someone was in there.. So break came and i saw her. Think she saw me too. But strangely, i wanted to avoid.. Anyway, she didn't approach me.. and i stayed put. So it was really over... It doesn't matter, wasn't meant to be anyway. But in the beginning, that feeling was so real.. Things started at the wrong end i should say.. Felt that it was my fault.. to mislead her. But things were happening around me as well.. Felt so restricted.. couldn't type all i wanted to.. Maybe should switch back to writing my journal.
Had been three days since my sis moved out, and it had been quiet at home.. Her room was empty, only to be filled by things in my room that i long wanted to get rid of. Think she will come back only occasionally.. but i promised to keep the room tidy ^^ But she moved the piano away from my room~ Nothing to practice on..
Nothing had been smooth these days.. the beginning of the ride down on the roller-coaster-again. Had another flare up of my old condition, arthritis. Just like a visit from an old friend.. haha..i don't mind the visit, but it better don't stay.. Coz of the condition, it had been downhill since. Seldom had the occasion to be joyous..From 1999 and lasted till mid 2004. Though things changed since mid 2004. Knew it won't last long, but was able to cherish it. Only through sadness that we will know what joy is..
Had been three days since my sis moved out, and it had been quiet at home.. Her room was empty, only to be filled by things in my room that i long wanted to get rid of. Think she will come back only occasionally.. but i promised to keep the room tidy ^^ But she moved the piano away from my room~ Nothing to practice on..
Nothing had been smooth these days.. the beginning of the ride down on the roller-coaster-again. Had another flare up of my old condition, arthritis. Just like a visit from an old friend.. haha..i don't mind the visit, but it better don't stay.. Coz of the condition, it had been downhill since. Seldom had the occasion to be joyous..From 1999 and lasted till mid 2004. Though things changed since mid 2004. Knew it won't last long, but was able to cherish it. Only through sadness that we will know what joy is..
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