Another Pile Of 6

Went to foodfair at Expo today... whoa.. so fun.. haha.. Very blissful to have so much food to eat.. and tasty too. Not necessary expensive.. just had to taste good. And i think the food there is not bad.. haha.. not a wasted trip at all! But i guess i ate a lot... hahha.. no choice.. had to gain weight. Think the exam had taken its toll on my 'fats' .. haha..

Size matters, height doesn't.

Eat like i've never eaten before.. and hence.. shit like i've never shit(en) before... its true! perhaps in a crude way.. coz some might not understand if i just say 'defecate'. If not i really wonder where all the things went after they entered my stomach. One thing for sure.. its costly to eat a lot.

And the it leads to the question whether to go or not to go to work in the zoo (as a monkey). Maybe they've kept more than one.. i need the extra income.. but for a income i can't earn.. i might as well stay at home to entertain the villagers. But still ... for that goodwill.. i really can't decide. As berry said.. its hard to be nice.. coz nice people always get taken advantage of. Then for what do people want to be nice? Might as well blow the whole planet off.

Anyway... i shall call upon my evil twin..

Oh ya... 1 more thing.. today don't know from where pop up a 'daughter'... very 'irritating'.. haha.. if next time got such a daughter.. maybe i can go bang wall le.

11.45pm... i'm still have my 5th meal of the day... haha.. 1 short of the target.. i'm supposed to have 6.. (6 looks like da bian meh?).. anyway.. eat until want to puke.. haha.. wish me luck.. hopefully 5-10 kg weight gain in two months time.

All The Shit

SRC meething today... not the longest meeting i've met yet.. haha.. from 10am to 4pm plus.. (was actually from 9.30am - i was late). So i was late ... and was late again.. and it has become my 'signature'. Ok... enough of being late.. maybe enough of being in SRC. Was no longer in passion.. i don't know why.. felt no urge to contribute.. only to refute.. i've said so.. my purpose.. haha.. pessimist point of view, won't achieve great things.. but won't commit great mistakes. i don't know.. SRC - Excos seems foreign to me. I wonder.. and lots of things to feel awkard about.

Shes a really nice girl.. and everyone should treasure if given the chance. From the first day, she was unique till now. Special as i called it, and special she remains. I don't dare to look into her eyes coz i've wavered too much.. not that this was the reason ( i knew my limitations ), maybe it was not meant to be in the first place. This won't remain, yet it won't go away. perhaps... 'i was used to it'.

By all means: interpret all you can. I have no wish to clarify my stand. Just do not quote me.

I don't wish to know the consequences.. antenna was severed... maybe there won't be one. Lingering.. not. And i knew the reason too well. Too well to face it.. too well i knew where to hide.. too well i knew how to deny. Too well i knew nobody knew what.

Again: interepret all you can. (sort of like eat-all-you-can buffet)

People are not tired guessing intentions.. and they don't like to ask.

Think i lamented too much.. haha.. this was the side effect of too much exposure. (like radiation) It applies to EVERYTHING.. erm.. Excluding ahem D*n*s*u*.. (sorry, but i'm not being impolite.. haha.. just a way i feel.. please check with me your status.. lol..)

Alright... next time if anyone wants to do back-stabbing, make sure the intended party dies ok?

Hahaa... i've got too much to blog.. think i'm going crazy with antenna gone... ok.. move on to work these few days.. well it was a waste of time.. given the situation and the accessibility of facilities.. haha... ya.. i'm pessimistic (thats why i'm TYPE B - will i lose customer this way?.. hahaha..)... but compare to erm... ya..i don't know.. i'm the one doing it anyway.

You will get monkeys if you pay peanuts. (And i am one of them - that reminds me of Madagascar.. haha)

But i've learnt a few things along the way... and the battle is not done yet.. haha... exploited.. i know.. im not DUMB ok.. maybe i did it out of goodwill.. maybe for the sake of this 'Bad' experience.. i still do it anyway. Even if i get all the shit, do it anyway... (something i read on the new paper).. so what do we live for? Not many knew.. perhaps to see how much shit one can take (and pass out) in a lifetime. (mine is spoilt)

Experience - good or bad, is still experience.

So today after Exco meeting, i'm had 'itchy' hand.. called a friend who is in the line of Network Marketing... sometimes referred as MLM (multi level marketing).. or pyramid or cube or whatever you call it. So i chose to attack their reputation first.. (it was tainted ... and it wasn't me who did it.. haha).. was surprised... i think they have good training.. haha.. maybe they just need that chance that people will stop for them. (same as everyone else.. ya.. same for me too).. and at the end of the session... i can't find a reason to whack. And if one wants to argue.. i can say.. everything is actually MLM.. just they do it in a more discreet manner. The classic example of mark up pricing.. or more readily accepted as 'value added'.. if not for this, we all should be eating grass (or cow dungs) now. For all those 'magnetic beds' owners.. please tell me how 'magentic' they are.. from what i presume, it might cause you to lose ur handphones or watches.. actually that magnets are not that powerful to do that.. not even to mention to change any thing in, on, and around your body.. maybe dinos are attracted to magnets. Luckily i don't have any beds in my rooms.. ya.. no more beds. It was given to Salvation Army.. on the account that it can't accomodate my height anymore.. but then.. i had problems 'getting up' of bed now... i don't know why.. 'old friend' (Arthritis) came back... haha.. to remind me not to take things for granted.

Think i had an overdose of caffine. Was blogging since i came back.. and now its going to 4am. And i'm still on the 'ignore' (or maybe entertain) list.. just kidding.. haha.. and i'm not sleepy..

Will be going for band pract tomorrow.. haha.. maybe going early.. maybe will meet X.. maybe will have more stories to tell.. i think i can be scriptwriter for local drama...

Why should one let go of memories? Keep them, but cast off the feelings. The way people feel changes now and then. One might be priceless on one moment and turn 'price-less' the next. Cherish that feel now.. for you might regret that same feeling later.

Anime 'Fullmetal Alchemist' ended. Didn't really followed it.. but watched the final episode. And maybe got to understand the whole theme. It revolves around the assumption that 'for every sacrifice, there will be a return of an equal value'. This implies that you reap what you sow. Yet this wasn't the case as the plot unfolds .. and they conclude that this is only what people say to comfort themselves.. in real life, it doesn't happen either.. (maybe in the karma context of previous life.. no wish to eleborate.. i'm not here to preach).. it help sometimes.. but it can fail. Take for example.. the POB exam that was just over.. It came out the most unlikely question at the expense of a common topic. (which i didn't study also.. haha)... people who worked 70% couldn't get it, while people who speculated 70% could.. i don't know.. maybe speculation is a form of sacrifice.. everything has its price (or opportunity cost). We shall wait for the verdict.

A ton of crap... and it you happen to read all until this point.. congrats! You are officially very 'free' or 'bo liao' as me.. no offence.. but its stabbing in front. Do it the official way.. confront. And don't bookmark .. haha.. its not as interesting as you think. And if by now you are still reading this.. i've already lost my train thoughts... its just nonsense.. pure. Do confront if you have any doubts.

My point:
1. I've lost interest in that council thing. (same goes to band)
2. Someone is special. (and i mean it) (ok.. everyone is special)
3. I'm monkey, but i prefer bananas. (actually i prefer cash)
4. Shit happens, but still have to be cleared. (kio sai)
5. MLM is not that as bad as it seems. (but i heard bad things about them)
6. You don't reap what you sow (weeds might become priceless too)
7. Stab in front and ask for a reward. (you might get stabbed more times in return... who knows?)

Laugh, joke, stab, whatever... JUST DON'T QUOTE ME.. or you might be squashed by erm.. D

A Change Of Tide

Things are back in my room again.. what can i do? They let me have the biggest room so that i can accomodate their things.. great.. but i can't object.. i don't own this house.. and there are more things to come. Should i? i think not.. things are not settled.. i don't want to kick up another storm.

So suddenly it came.. so suddenly it went.. holidays are gone for me.. never realised that.. i'll start working tomorrow.. ar.. and to live on commission for a slacker like me.. i wonder.. how much can i earn? But i really got lots to buy.. a laptop-1.5k.. at least.. but i'm not contented. At least nid a 13 inch screen.. hahaha.. that'll be around 2.5k or so.. so if i get 50 cents per successful participant.. i'll have to get... 5000 people to go... hahaaha.. the more the merrier.. coz will be drawing a salary bring tours.. haha..rather than commission.. have prepared nothing.. haiz.. yet.. need to wear formal tomorrow.. wonder why.. nobody can see lor... and i still have to rush there right after my dental appointment.. maybe change at NDC.. haha.. if let my dentist see me wear that.. i wonder what will she says.. lol.

Over, Not Oval

Had my last paper a few days ago.. and i thought i would be happy.. glad but not elated. Haha.. thought of so much to do.. everyday seems to be a busy day during the exams.. yet i didn't study much.. was either slacking or watching tv.. so... the end of exams didn't really free up any time. I was not on the PPF.

As such, i knew i didn't put effort in my studies.. and not much people will... for that, thats why we ended up where we are. I was never proud of this 'achievement'. Just hope that i'll be able to clear all my units. Over.. not oval.. i dun want any zeros on my degree.

But then again.. it seems to be a rather busy post exam period. Although didn't start at what i've intended to do before the exams, the schedule was packed till next week.

So.. what did i do after my exams? haha.. was actually playing game till 2am. Though i slept 2 hours in attempt to prepare for POB, i wasn't willing to sleep so early.. 7 hours of sleep.. i woke up at 9 am. Was going to earn some commission for an events company.. was more difficult then i thought.. so worked all the way till late noon before having lunch. Then was late for a meeting.. so tired... yet, i won't be sleeping early tonight.. and will be going to the East tomorrow to have fun!.. haha.. another busy day.. and most importantly, can skip alumni practice.. hahaa

Storm At The Village Again

Storm was at the village again. Was rather busy with my exams.. and might seems, i wasn't concern at all. Actually, events might have devastating effect maybe for the 1st time.. after that, experience will handle everything. I don't want to intervene, just hope that villagers are content with the outcome. Things will not be alright.. so the villagers spent another night beside 'campfire'.. i was there to study IR while they were very much preoccupied with the disaster. Given my capabilities and 'rank', nothing much i can offer.. and its back to studies again.

Maybe i still hope, yet it seems insignificant.. or maybe it isn't worth it after all. If things can happen twice, it can happen everytime. I can say, i'm getting used to this. If villagers are safe and sound, the process doesn't really matters. 1707 will be decommissioned .. perhaps replaced by some other.. though i rather it don't happen.. but since it was that.. why not accept the way things are?

3 Down, 1 More To Go

Written 6 essays within a day.. lol.. as usual, didn't sleep the night before, in an attempt to find time for IR. By daybreak, i've written 3 draft essays.. yet, there wasn't enoght time to prepare another one.. in the end, i've only studied 3 of the exam topics.. a very risky strategy.. lol.. or should i say, its my own laziness that casued it. A total of 17 - 18 exams topic, and to choose 4 from a total of 12 seems an easy task. Yet, the nature of the 'average' student is that they will choose 5 or 6.. but i chose 3.. hahaa... and if they didn't come out, i can leave the hall early.

Was another cold morning.. didn't sleep the night before.. worst still.. didn't take afternoon nap as well.. it was rather bad to take exams on a rainy morning.. deprive of sleep.. and the whole hall 5 of the expo had only the 70+ IR students in.. haha.. luckily all the 3 topics that i've prepared adequately were there.. lol.. 1 was rather indirrect.. the other one alright.. and the last 1 exactly the same.. = = Gift question i guess.. had a lot to write.. yet time wasn't enough as always.. 1st question took almost an hour to complete, 15 mins beyond schedule.. and it carries forward.. didn't have much time for the last question.. but might as well.. didn't really prepare enough also..

Its over.. now i can only hope for a pass.. I don't except good grades for the amount of work i've put in, but neither do i want to repeat. Studying through the same things over and over again can be very boring.

For the Past 3 Days

Felt so lost sitting at the examination hall.. i did study for it.. not that i've given it up. But still, a sudden surge of helplessness, and i've lost my pace. As usual, didn't get to finish the paper... but i dare say.. that i did my best. Well.. maybe on account on the school fees, maybe i'm trying to protect my reputation, maybe i wanted to prove to my parents, maybe it was something else. For whatever reason it is, no longer was there any reservations. Perhaps there was nothing else i could do at the moment except to study. Study.. maybe just memorizing.. not really understanding. Yet for that basic part, i couldn't achieve.. STM... just another convenient excuse.

For the past few days, been studying overnight.. overcame many obstacles on the way... for once, i attempted stats.. haha.. and i did matrix too... lol.. but for now, i'm more worried about econs. I don't want to retake.. 1st, it'll be a stain on my degree.. then i'll have to pay $500 to re-sit fot the paper on top of the burden of year two.. and also .. i might be going alone.. well.. nothing more i could do.. it's already over. Pondering about the past won't help... and letting go is a better option. Just as lying around trying to solve an equation i don't really know.. not only i don't get marks for that.. the rest of the paper is also jeopardized. Haha.. something to do with character i guess.. No wonder i always couldn't finish my exams. Erm.. maybe i'm slow.. haha.. but this time round.. it isn't the same.. i wonder why..

Anyway, 3 papers down.. 2 more to go.. essay based.. ar.. i hate writting essay.. given my limitations on the command of this language... + my atrocious spelling.. and my slow writting speed.. haha.. i predict.. i can only complete 2.5 essays.. lol... it's been that for 'A' levels Econs.. 4 more days to my next paper.. IR.. and that's the worst.. coz i skipped classes.. didn't do assignments.. didn't pay attention.. and for this 60 days of incubation, i didn't touch IR at all.... erm... econs already goner.. don't want another blow to my wallet.. haha..

Seems like i've a lot to type.. just trying to de-stress... de-stress the stress.. lol.. another of my nonsense.

All The Best!

Alright.. ALL THE BEST EVERYONE!

I'm So Guilty

Felt so guilty for not really studying yesterday.. and not only that.. actually advance some of my "holidays" to enjoy first.. oh great.. what am i doing? Certainly not a reward for studying hard.. although it's already the best since 1997.. haha.. but i really felt very guilty.. ha.. and if.. i should really blame myself.

And so, reached home late last night.. and was very tired.. slept all the way till 1pm. Woke up for breakfast/lunch and watch an hour of tv.. after that went back to sleep again. = = .. and i slept till 6pm... another day gone. Was waiting for witizens to confirm studying overnight.. but i guess by now, that plan isn't going to work.. haha... deprived of sleep..

And now my back hurts again... ar... too stressed about exams.. 4 more days before the start..

Drained

4pm - just woke up coz didn't sleep last night.. a very very long time i didn't study through the night, i mean not on the night just before the exams. And i think studying that much can really hurt the brain.. haha.. the law of diminishing marginal returns.. but i had no choice.. i've barely covered 50% of my units.. and the other 50% i didn't have the confidence to secure it. Studying and applying are 2 different things. And really, memory is playing a big part now.. given my STM, i fifnd it so difficult to remember... read and i forget.. maybe i didn't fully understand.

My problem studying at home - this comp.. get me somewhere with nothing else to do, and i'll study.. haha.. tried it out last night.. and i've done a lot... compared to doing nothing at home. But then, i'm mentally drained on this labour day..

Such a dangerous manoeuver.. coz i don't think i'll be able to do much today.. thought of going to the airport to study overnight.. but now i'm having reservations.. but i'll see how it goes.. that feeling of being deprived of sleep is very awful.. haha. Anyway, not much to worry about .. 8 more miserable days to the commence of my Exams.. and i've received the admission notice. All the venues are the same.. haha.. Not really glad.. coz i was hoping to get to the one at cuppage.. rather than Expo.. = = so far away.. ar.. and all my papers are in the morining. Duh~