Best Job in the World

Been wanting to post this, but kept procrastinating. At least, i thought i shouldn't have, but sometimes the kind of helplessness is really a bit too much.

But someone's got to do it.

I don't like to be in this situation. Seems like a zero sum game.

Not usual stuff i would say, coz there is no requirement like this.

Extremely challenging task that is, just like any other job, except, you get to see your boss even after work.

Didn't like the idea of working with family members since young.. conflict sometimes get carried over, and that earning from the same source is just too risky. Totally no diversification at all. In a way, i'm uncomfortable with it.

Yet it all seems fated. I'm not saying that this is not good.. but it wasn't what i thought it was to be. In fact, the whole lot of decisions made in the past wasn't geared for this at all. Was able to attend the 1st science class during secondary school (i managed a 23rd for the whole level), but i chose accounts instead. Came college, i chose Science instead of Arts.. coz they stopped the commence course altogether. Not very well versed in arts and lit, so had to make do with pure science. Didn't had much interest in physics that time, and so i didn't really studied for my exams. Still managed to get a full cert, but results wasn't good enough for engineering in the local Uni. Ended up in SIM, where i took my degree in Banking and Finance from UOL.

But, i ended up in a company with its interest in engineering. Of coz, i could have chosen elsewhere, but this is afterall, from the village. And i really thought i could have contributed in the admin side. My own wishful thinking that is, coz things weren't that simple at all.

I entered a line beyond my discipline, with all the staff carried over. There is plenty that i can do, yet a lot more that i can't.

No one will understand. At least, it is not just adding oil will do. It takes a lot more than that. Not just willing, but must be able as well.

There are choices out there, and choosing not to choose is a choice.

So whatever it is, there is a still a chance to make things happen. I don't want to give up just yet.

Merry Xmas

Was the 2nd or 3rd time performing in SIS under SSA. Was such a nice experience as always, and long hours of waiting as always. So the whole day was spent outside, from 8.30am till almost 12mn.

Yet i don't know why i was sulking throughout the whole day. Even my senior mentioned that i don't looked happy. Well, perhaps i was really tired.

Xmas came early. On xmas eve, the new mobile service vehicle came. The previous one was then sold to cover a bit on the super expensive COE. Was quite happy that this was my 1st involvement in preparing the vehicle for mobile service, and with the 4 of us, it took us almost half a day.

Rest for a bit before rushing off for xmas gathering with the sims. Since the year before, our gift exchange was "upgraded" to the wishlist system. So not surprisingly, i got what i want =). The only surprise was from whom, and which item from the list. Of coz, if the item is too general, the design counts too. So in a way, it wasn't boring at all. We all left quite early after watching tv.. well, i knew i must, coz of the performance the following day. And, it was going to be a long long day as always.

And i was right.

Luckily my colleague in the horn section came to support, if not i'd be so bored.. lol.

Night ended late with the shifting of instrument, and i was kind of appalled at the lack of control after the performance. I mean, the loading bay was so packed with people, and there wasn't enough space for all in. Well, as always with the management, there is always instruction being passed down, and by the time it reaches, there is nothing much one can control. The only thing one can do is to be there. But i was so glad there were so many of them there.

I was glad, for being there on the 25th.

Boxing day, and it was another round of family gathering. This time round, they had raw oysters, salmon sashimi, and a lot more super nice xmas food. I'm starting to like xmas more than cny le.. lol. I could have gotten myself a iphone or itouch.. but i guess i won't need it really. I don't have the time to play with it anyway.

I still have my ipod nano though.. i just need a dock to settle it down.. together with a nesspresso machine! Plus, a magic egg machine to put all the nesspresso capsule in. LOL.. This is my real wishlist.. but with a $20 caps, how do you expect me to put it in?

Happy bday to Pakki!

Time flies, pakki is already 4 years old le.

Happy bday pakki. May you be in good health always.

Why

As long as the wrong feels right, is it alright?

I just don't understand why.

I guess i was more of surprise than anything else. Perhaps shocked.

So while i thought i can still work with just 2 hours of sleep, i was so wrong. Vader gave permission for me to report late for work, and asked mum not to wake me up. Woke up with another shock, and it was already 9.30am. Was 10am by the time i reach the workplace, and really, it was not as if as i can do whatever i want. However, all of them seems to understand (or at least no one dares to ask why) i supposed. Nobody asked why.

Felt so bad for not setting good example.. but i see why it seems like a bed of Devil's Ivy.

I like to Move it..

Took part in some partial house moving during the PH, and it was really kind of tiring. Not the actual lifting itself, but going for the many many trips.

Spent half a day moving, and half a day a Ikea eating, courtesy of the owner.

Came Sunday, and again, i'm moving people and things. LOL.. band pract once again shifted from boonlay to tampines. The east seems nearer, but i always missed the PIE-CTE exit.

Band pract seems alright.. since i haven't been playing for quite a few months liao.. My tone changed drastically for the worse.. and i lost the embouchure too. So again, they chose "Haha".. a song which i am quite scared of playing actually.. lol.. coz i remembered the last time i played, i mis-pitch it as well. The D entry note is really kind of uncomfortable.. especially with the excessive tension of over preparing for the 1st note. As it goes, any piece with the horn playing the 1st note is a killer. The nut cracker, the wmc set piece and the solo rainbow. LOL..

So i failed twice in a row.. and then i started finding all sorts of excuses.. but the fact is, i wasn't trying hard enough. It became a convenient excuse really. Watched some shows on the BBC (accidentally), and really, not having a particular skill doesn't mean give one the reason to fail. It just meant that one has to work and try even harder than others.

I really wasn't trying.. it seems, i had shifted my attention elsewhere - work that is.

So while i am trying to find a way out, i missed the way out on the highway. Not once, but plenty of times. While i was trying to hope for a nearer exit, it always give the opposite. I ended up in outram.. lol.. how i also don't know. So i took my instrument on a ride, to many great places in town, and even to the backyard of Mr P. Just that there are far too many traffic lights in town, and i spent quite some time waiting for my turn.

This is quite silly.. but at the same time quite a nice experience. At least it isn't as bad as i thought.. and really, sg is super small.

Ah T

Ah T came as a replacement, and indeed, locals can't even match them in terms of ability and salary. Like that how to compete?

But then again, willingness and ability are two different things.. plus, sometimes, some seemingly smart people will do stupid things too.

In anycase, i think some are just too complacent le.. as the poster say, 'no crime doesn't mean no crime', and as it goes, no wonder the youngsters are hacking each other. Since when are we heading back to the 60s? Nothing better to do than to risk one's life for the sake of "brotherhood"? Tio hoot probably. Somemore don't know whose brother. Perhaps they all ain't heavy.

So while i am also wondering what i am defending as a sgrean, i do still consider this my home.. most probably coz i haven't been to elsewhere. I might like to have a different kind of life. Yet as if seems, i can't even fight for what i want here, however basic it might be to the others. Just becoz we are small. And it seems even smaller as people are pouring in. Having faced all the Ns, Bs, and Ts whole day long at my workplace, i still can find them at my void deck, playing badminton! Argh... not my badminton court too! So tell me.. where we are, and who are we?

And i not 厉害.. coz if i 厉害, i would have earned a lot. So don't tell me 你厉害你来 wor.

I have been wondering.. Since they are so talented, why not let in our closet? Highly likely that we are not prepared.

Would really love to see the outcome.. coz youngsters these days don't really care a dime. They have great aspirations.. so they don't care who did what.. only what they did. I think this is the reason why they own.

Old at New Double O

Double O moved since after our schooling days, yet nothing much changed. The crowd is still as happening, the price per jug is less than $15, and the shots are still $3 each. What more to ask for?

So happened that we aged.. and i don't feel as energetic. Work is really taking a toll on all of us, and with things being so expensive, there is no choice but to work OT and on weekends. No wonder we need to de-stress.

Just that day, i met a very unreasonable customer. Damn pissed but had no choice. In the end i said sorry again, and even made compensation. Argh! My mistake really.. but the customer is all out to e-99. Afterall, everything is still the same.. just that the parts in between is different. In the end the usage is same, so i don't freaking understand what the damn commotion is all about. Unless so people are out take advantage. Well.. plenty of them. Just paid for my lesson again. And again, this is coz of unclear instruction and me jumping into conclusion. Heard it all the time, that i will have to assume that people have no knowledge of whatever they are involved in. Well, sometimes they really don't have. So this is no surprise. Just have to be careful the next time.

Blogging about it makes my blood boil. Argh.

Work is draining my energy away, coz it seems that there is always nothing i can do to protect anything of my own. Any wrong move and it might just be the end. Sigh.. the burden is heavy at times. So much for being seeded.

I need to de-stress more.

Anyway, OO is nice, and so is the mambo jumbo. Especially so when the sequence is so predictably nice! Also, the low price of each jug makes way for variety. A bottle is too boring le.. such that now the taste of cola reminds me of martell, lime reminds me of vodka, and green tea reminds me of hennessy. Not to mention, a jug of beer cost $14 too! Plus, the guy that used to climb the metal frames is back at the new OO!

School days are so nice.

Year 27

Yes, another year older in terms of days on earth.

Aged physically, and hopefully mentally too. It takes much more to age, and by the time we do, most of the physical aspect of us are, new - all except the memory.

That memory came from experience, and experience from time.

1 year is not a lot, if everyday is just another day.

In the coming year, i hope to create more memories, coz they are the ones that stayed.

In Advance

This was one very memorable bday, even before the actual day itself.

Sincerely thanked all who celebrated with me, making the day so special.

There is a lot more to wish for, and even more to work towards.

Intention to embark on new journeys, while withdrawing from others for the time being. 暂停不算放弃..

27 years is quite a while, and for the past 2 years, i've been signing up insurance as my own bday gift. Well, at least there is a coverage and a savings programme.. just so there won't be financial problems in the future. Though whether it is sufficient or not depends on a lot, but having something itself is already a start.

A start of a new year for me too.. and hopefully all my wishes come true.

Departure

Seems like sep is the month of leaving.

Now, my colleague is leaving as well. It was kind of sad, coz after all, he was one of the few that was really chionging at work. My workload was significantly reduced, and hence more time for me to attend to other things.

The attitude towards work was so remarkable that it set a new standard. Since then, i really couldn't have complained much.

Yet having to alternate between mechanical, admin, and counter is really putting a significant amount of stress on me. I am error prone, especially when instructions are given irregardless of the amount of work i had on hand. Strangely, this is the way it works.

And so the type of work is not really that appealing at all. Nobody would have want to work here. But i had no choice. I mean, if it comes, so be it. I won't run. I am no quitter.

6 for 5

So for some time, i had been holding the stock exchange stock. Wondering whether it was time to let go, or will it be able to break through till pre lehman levels. Yet as with everything, nothing is for certain. The only thing certain is that which is realised. For every other thing else, nothing much matters. On paper or on the mind, it is the same.

Finally decided it was time to let go, keeping to just the minimum 10% P.A. gains that i was looking for. Said that so long as one is without fear or greed, there is nothing much to lose. Keeping to it requires much discipline, and letting go while there is so much potential at hand might seems kind of silly. Just for referrence only, the pre lehman level was at around 13. The present level is around 8 plus. So much potential. Yet, that is not for comparison. What used to be might not be anymore.

Yet for the amount of absolute gain, it was by far the largest single contract for my record. Perhaps of the additional funds from my salary, perhaps of the luck in picking the "right" stocks at the right time, i am no guru by any means. All decisions are based on discipline.

So while i forgo another 10% or so (as being stated by the 1-yr target price), i am delighted at achieving certainty. Best of all, i don't have to feel that bad for that hole in my pocket.

They are not wrong at all say that one must diversify. The whole objective is to invest in , companies that at are going to embark on some profits earning projects, and hopefully, generate some cashflows. Whatever that is known to the public is already factored into the price, so most likely it is already being adjusted for the future gains. So since these are all unknown, it is best to choose a few to increase the chance of tio-ing. The only problem is, the amount of funds allocated will be smaller, and hence so is the absolute gain. By diversifying, we diversify away the gains, as well as the risks.

In any case, there isn't much to transfer to, since the market is already in a much better shape. The amount of uncertainty ahead, and the diminished potential is really not worth the risk.

Experience

Things went so mundane, till i was sort of programmed to do the same things over and over again. Perhaps till the point of being 'automated'. When they do, it isn't really that difficult to work at all.

Not difficult becoz i am no longer the one of the other mechanic. But not for long. Had heard that the newest staff had decided to work till month end, and for whatever reason, i truly respect the decision made. The outcome was, the void had to be filled, and who else other than me again?

Well, i could have remained that, if not for the new skills that i need to pick up at the counter front. This is no office, and there is no justification for sitting around. Yet by not being at the front when there are new things to learn is a missed opportunity. Experience is very important in the sense that there are some that will help you earn more, some that will help you save time, and some that will help you avoid trouble.

Almost had my 1st solo at repairing the hydraulics lines of the lorry crane, if not for the lack of manpower and weather. In the end, it was ruled that it was more cost effective for them to take the faulty lines out themselves coz of the workload we had on hand. Even though so, i had spent half an hour just to get one of the swivel nut turning and IMO, it was the most critical part of the whole process itself.

A sample of the lorry crane arm, but not the exact one which i had attempted. It was of the same made though.

It wasn't difficult, just needing to have some more experience, the experience of trying. But i was told i wasn't employ to do these. I know. I just want to experience how it was like, what are the difficulties, and most importantly, prove that i can. I won't be dependent, yet not independent till the point of being overwhelmed. There is a difference of being 'willing and able' and 'willing or able'.

MBS

Was at MBS the last weekend, and it was a rather nice experience. Too bad i was late for the skypark coz it was closed at 10pm.

Other than the very spacious room, the 30s fridge was one of the more interesting feature of the room. Any thing removed from the fridge for more than 30s will be charged to the bill automatically! How convenient. Personally, i liked the nespresso machine - the coffee maker that makes coffee from special capsules. Had seen it online and heard about it, but not tasted the coffee before. So it was really nice to experience it myself.. although the coffee isn't really that fantastic. With a tag of $1 per capsule, i rather drink coffee that comes in packets. However, it would be a very nice addition to any home.


I guess the box is not included huh..

Was the farewell party for one of my uni school mates who is leaving for the states for studies rather soon. I wished all the best.

'A lot' is a lot

And so since then, i have not accidentally found it. Yes.. not even by accident. And it cost me a Lot to get it settled. There goes a majority of my pay.. and it is kind of stupid to let things go by just like that.

To solve this in a logical and systematic manner is quite difficult, and even more so to keep my composure and to perform at work. Then came all the hassle to get things done asap. The root of the problem came from procrastination, and to delay anymore is going to add frost to snow.

Thankfully, i got it all settled.. just that the hole in my pocket became a hole in my pocket literally.

Just how much must i do to right this one wrong? In biz at least, with a general mark-up of 30%, it will take another 3 rights.. and in all, 4 missed opportunity. At least there is still chance to make things right.

For certain things, even one wrong is too many. Whatever the case, one has to be responsible for the things done (or undone).

GPS

In a state of sian-ness for the past week. Nothing seems to go on well, and the burden seems so heavy at times.

When things happen, i start to lament, of anything and everything. Whatever reason i could, to take myself out of the equation. Everything just seems wrong from then on.

Almost stab myself with the heavy duty pen-knife during one of the job. The blade stopped short of penetrating the skin, with just a minor cut wound on my stomach. Was rather shocked.. coz i thought i was going to bleed for sure. Luckily my shirt was thick enough.. if not, i would wear chain mail next time.

Fell ill yet again, with flu and cough. Disliked it when i had to do mechanical work with a running nose. Had my hands full of grease, and still had to catch the nose. Really very pek chek. Nobody asked me to, i asked for it.

The sian-est part came from the kc. My pocket had a hole, and the key just dropped while i was unaware. In the end i was stucked at the workplace, searching everywhere for it. Couldn't find, so had to leave home to retrieve the spare. Very troublesome indeed. How i wished it was mine, then i could have settled it asap. Sigh.

Aug

020810:
Sencond day of august, another new staff came. This time, it was me that was being covered. Initially, i was rather glad.. coz finally after 1.5 yrs of being a mechanic, i can put all my studies into good use.


And on this day, my appointment took effect. On paper, it was 15th july.. but i had to wait reinforcement. Everything had to be done in such a way that it had the most impact, and i am quite happy with the outcome.


060810:
Went for medial follow-up for my AS at TTSH. It seems that the AS remained inactive, even without medication.. just had to watch out for the eyes. Took blood test and it was only 1 tube this time round. The nurse was quite nice.. and from my fingernails, she could guess that i was a mechanic of some sort. I had scrubbed hard, and used the chemical to clean, yet it wasn't something that could be removed just like that. Didn't get to see the senior consultant but the MO instead. The MO was quite young lor.. hahaha.. either that, or i am getting old. The 1st time i went, i was only 16. Now i am 26 le.. lol. The next appointment is scheduled half a year later.

070810:
Pre-long weekend work day. Was a saturday, and even though most of the people are on long weekend combo, we still had to be there. Was kind of quiet coz most of the customers are on long weekend too. I thought it was going to be an eecc day, and was thankful for it. Was at boiler the night before, and was tired having only slept for only 3 hours. Yet it wasn't to be. The previous day, some CU happened.. i wasn't around, so i didn't know. One staff chose to act solo, perhaps trying to cover up, or trying to be hero. Nobody knows what that melon is doing, or where. A long story.. but in the end, it affected the whole process. I had the butter ready even before that melon is back. So for the 1st time, i boil blood then followed by butter. I had the authority to, and i had to set things right. If not, every melon act in that way, doing what he likes, then what organisation is this? If nobody cares, nobody else should think they would.


I actually felt quite bad having to do this, and for the rest of the day, was rather unhappy about it. This is not a good assignment at all, but for the good of the co. , rules must be observed. The co. is running without a proper system for too long. It might work for a small co., but since now there are more staffs, much more is needed. Cannot do by the old way anymore. Nothing radical, yet, just something to set things right from the start.


080810:
Band was nice, so was the mini celebration. The stock check went on ok, just that being the QM, i should have done a better job.. unless the incoming QM is willing to kio. Plenty of things not around, and i have totally no idea where they went. To write off is not within my authority, yet perhaps, the inventory had already long gone. Well, it was passed to me, and the only thing i can do is not to let the existing go missing anymore.

甜中一点苦

Last sat was the A&C showcase, and this performance was one of the least prepared by me.

Rushed to HQ @ tampines after work, and was glad i had kuti chia this time round. Reached within 30 mins, and was.. just in time for dinner.. lol.

The actual performance came, and with the stage at HQ, the same acoustic problem plagued me again. Was feeling very muffled from my position and i couldn't hear the band as a whole. Yet the sections sounded very clear.. perhaps too clear till there wasn't much blending into. In any case, this wasn't the same as what it sounded some years back. I could still remember, and still touched by it.

What really 'woke' me up was the combine performance with the brassband. They were just so good, and they had improved so much. With them, i finally had a section, and the full chord sounded nice and full.. plus the bass and all.. it sounded like a band at least. To emphasize on quality rather than quantity can sometimes be wrong. Certain things, you'll need the quantity no matter what. Get the numbers 1st before deciding what to do with each of them. Without the numbers, what can one do? The is the same problem facing the band. What is the point when there is no one? The spare instruments are just sitting around depreciating. So when they wanted to set a minimum requirement for each player, they are actually killing the band.

I enjoyed the performance as i did, and i hoped the audience would too. Amid all these, there was a tinge of disappointment. Perhaps of what i've realised, perhaps of something else.. and actually i was hoping, yet hope was only what i can do.

All done, and was to send the instruments back to boonlay. Had significantly less to shift back, and more to help. All was done rather quickly, just that the journey took quite some time. Went for supper after everything, and by the time i was done, it was already 1.30am. Really quite tired to be driving, and was thankful when i reached home.

Actually i felt so fortunate that day.. though i was really tired. In some ways, i am thankful for the challenges that were thrown at me, and was so glad i can overcome.

Rather than 苦中一点甜, it was more of 甜中一点苦. I hoped i can face each and every challenges in this manner, and really.. 莲子糖 seems nicer!

From the Village

Had been in town for a full day, and was really elated. Work without adequate breaks, and the resentment just builds up. Finally had the chance to be on leave, since i was on an official biz assignment to town, and so i took a whole day leave instead.

First thoughts were my uni friends working there.. and really, i only to make one trip to see almost all of them. Had lunch with them, and work wasn't a common topic. Had nothing much to contribute anyway since i don't have the exposure. Not surprisingly, i am feeling a bit distant. Nevertheless, it was really nice to see them all.. since we haven't been clubbing together for almost a month. The only common thing left perhaps.

Left and went looking for my band colleagues working there as well. Left an hour later coz my friend had an scheduled appointment, and me, to get my assignment done.

Went to the co.'s secretarial services and had a document signed.. and that being the start of the transfer of responsibility. The sentence that struck me - ".. reasonable level of skill and knowledge..". That said, i really had plenty to catch up.

Intended to get my blackberry repaired, but i wasn't prepared. Found a fastfood restaurant and settled down with my netbook, and connected to the web using my mobile broadband. I still feel very impressed by the eee's batt. 9.5 hours! One day computing indeed. Never regretted, and after a year or so, the netbook is still doing fine. At least i don't accidentally pour tea into in.. like what i did to my current laptop. Since that day, the laptop was literally without keyboard. Wanted to do a back up of my BB's data, and also to find the nearest teleco, but ended up msn-ing instead. LOL.. it was a very nice environment.. while people were scurrying around working, i was the most eecc of the lot. Well.. let me be, since i seldom had the time to eecc le.. lol.

Got my old BB changed since the keypad was faulty. Luckily it was still under warranty.. lol.. and so i got a replacement set. I could say the teleco had offered a very good service indeed - the orange colour teleco. Not only did they got my phone replaced, they also helped me transfer the data to my new BB, plus factory reset the old one. Of coz, it took really very long, and in the end didn't have enough time to have dinner with my friend.

Called for back up, and had dinner at Itacho Sushi. It was my 1st time there, and the experience was great. The food there was fresh (and ex), some being air freighted over on the same day. The best came from the $7.20 a piece sushi (which i forgot the name already, and that i only had enough budget for a piece.. lol), and the not so good came from the $0.40 a piece (which i had 4 pieces). LOL.. price do make the difference. Didn't rake up too much for a meal, unlike the $45 per pax jap food spree at sakae the other time. Shocked leh.. lol.. all becoz we thought the $10 discount voucher machiam like $100 like that.. lol.

Food was nice, and so was the beering afterwards. German beer is still the best, and it's been a long time since i last drank. I won't drink if i am driving.. so the opportunity to drink dwindled. Need time to unwind, coz work is too stressful. I had much to accomplish for a normal working day, and not only that, i had to find time to improve myself. Plus more time to improve the co. as a whole. That is really very stressful.

It was as if i was from the village, going to the big city to experience the city life. It was very different. From what they wore, it was already miles apart. Suddenly everyone seems to be the same. At the village, one can easily tell who is the boss and who are the workers from their attire.. but not in town. I kept thinking of what it might have been if i just find a job that is compatible to that degree of mine.. just that 'if'.

And so work resumes, and plenty were left for me. LOL.. i am glad, coz a high percentage of my work translate into revenue .. unlike some that just waste time wandering around. So in the end i was back today to KS.. lol.. as expected. Just kind of irritating to hear people saying how tired they are for just that done. I was expecting the backlog to clear one leh.. Yet it is ok. I had my break, and i am recharged, ready to go back to the village to work.

太委屈

Saturday was a rather bad day.

Early in the morning, a customer chute pattern. It was our standard (actually an industrial standard) to charge service for any rendered, and yet i was accused of trying to cheat him. What is all the shit about transparency? I conveyed the information even before i started doing, so as to aid him in making an informed choice.. and this is what i get. I hate this feeling. I hate it when i know i am 100% right, and yet people refuse to believe. Serve me right for being so clear. I might just as well do everything and charge it as part of the item. So he refused to believe me.. and so he complained to the manager.. and got the same answer. Then they always say "i everytime come leh".. ya.. and don't even know the charges? You everytime come, i everytime do lor. I even had to apologised to him.. so as not to escalate into a full blown confrontation. I said sorry.. sorry for being so clear. Customer service hor.

Deep down, it was a very awful feeling. For what did i have to enter this line, for something which i could never imagine myself doing? It was as if i was silly enough not to turn and run. I could always pick a job that i feel will suit my personality.. but no, i didn't.

Yet after everything, the customer didn't even bothered to apologised. Becoz they think they are always right. But for the sake of revenue, what else can i do? They are plenty like them, some even worse. I've swallowed my pride for yet another time.

Maybe, just maybe.. someone somewhere somehow helped him once for free.. just maybe. IMO, they are spoiling the market. Simple as that. If it is reasonable, we should charge.. becoz this is something for something (money for service). Or we shouldn't charge if it is our mistake. To do a favour isn't doing us much favour. What if our manpower is tied up? This is really not logical. To argue that one is a regular customer so as to receive such above premium treatment isn't justified. That is to say, biz is for profit that is a fact. Of coz, there are some customers which we really don't mind helping.. becoz they deserved the value-add from us. And they, don't demand from us.

Was rather upset, and feeling very tired - both physically and mentally. The stock check was done, and finally things can more or less return to normal. I am glad, but not delighted.

Colleague on leave, and the rest work half day on saturdays. Only the 2 of us were left tending the shop. Another customer took the opportunity to pilfer something by distracting me with all kinds of questions and making me showing him all sorts of samples. I guess i was still upset with the incident that i wasn't really paying attention. In the end he just left with the goods without paying. Sigh. It seems that everything was coming for me. And that customers are always right. Service sector.. what to do?

Really super sian at that point.. to still be professional when faced with setbacks is really difficult. To say is easy.. but really very difficult to do. Sadly, there isn't any opportunity for me to chute pattern. Customers keep coming, and i had to perform.. if not there will be more mistakes. In the end i had the goods lost counted on my account.. to serve as a reminder. There won't be a next time.

So i endured till late evening. The vader seems to sense something was not right.. and he offered me quite a bit of guidance. He said high blood pressure is very common for people working in this line and so i need to learn how to relax. How to relax lei.. sigh. When people come and started queuing, and everyone wants their orders to be processed first, one can still float around and do things in an eecc manner meh? Relax leh. We are not dentist lor.. we don't go by appointments. But what he said was right.. i was really boiling blood every other day lor.. sooner or later will explode.

At least the day ended a bit better. Actually there are plenty of good customers.. only a few bad ones. But it is usually the bad ones that leaves a lasting impression.. and which of coz, what goes round comes around. 己所不欲, 勿施于人.

Pre-Audit

Work is relentless for the past 2 weeks.. and thus i haven't had a break till now. Bulk of it was from inventory management.. and counting physical stock is a very tedious job - especially when there are thousands of items to count.

So i counted, and counted.. then 3 pallets of consignments came. Took me quite a bit of time to unpack, and then slot them to their respective shelves, update the stock cards, and finally re-check the total quantity. Introduced the a new version of stock card as part of the new inventory system.. and i followed much during my NS. So glad that at least not all the 6 months are wasted. Now all left is for the people to act on it.. which of coz is the most difficult part.

Just as i thought i was done, another 2 pallets came in.. i was so darn demoralised. All these consignments were due to a fall in euros and also coz the suppliers are going to have another price increase. Sian was don't know when i assumed that part of the inventory.. and hence it was my duty to put it in order. Kind enough was help that was offered.. yet too many cooks spoil the soup. I just had to do it to be able to make the change.

Finally all was done, and just before the audit scheduled this week. But the end of one task signals the start of another. During my schooling days, i have been preparing the inventory list.. and by now, it was the 5th time i am preparing this. Not really an enjoyable task (that's why i am blogging now instead of preparing the list) as it is very tedious too.

Hopefully the audit would be go on smoothly, and i hoped to have my weekend soon. Working consecutive for 20 days is kind of hell-ish.. and the KO time for sunday is even worse than that of normal working days.

Wondered what is with all the other staff.. coz i even had to submit my own appointment letter to the co.'s secretary. And with that, my appointment is official.. except that i have yet prepare the notice of appointment. So it was again on paper only. Regardless, i no longer have excuses to bo chup.

As part of the plan, the previous mech was re-hired. Very impressive skill and speed.. much better than the current chief mech.. and now i know why the vader only praise him. I am impressed indeed.

Another had to wait till aug before coming over.. and with that, the shortage will be solved. IMO, there will be too many indeed.. so either there are more revenue generating activities, or there will be some selections going on soon.

Cow

Work manifested itself so badly that i wondered what i am doing.

Could be better, could be worse.

Clocked a 78 hour work week for the previous week, and my backlog keeps adding. And the choice-less situation was that all uninterested employees already had their job scope defined.. either by a very generous vader or that the defined it by themselves.

That leaves all the rest of the job to the cow and friends. All other jobs = infinite. So long as the situation calls for, the cow will have to obey. Ironically, i am the one typing my own appointment letter.. lol.. Well.. at least it is a very interesting work, with a tremendous amount of free work-out provided for. And the most wonderful part is that the cow will get paid.. so that someday it will get to have enough money to buy the 1.2k fish at rws. I'm being sarcastic.

I wonder whether being hopeful makes things much difficult. To accept what there is to accept, and perhaps nothing else matters. Things won't last forever.. becoz a lifetime is not forever.

Well.. regardless of the outcome, i will have no choice. That is, if i want to remain status quo.

At least with this, every other thing else will be considered a luxury (Including the 1.2k fish).

LOL.. i guess the fish really is very huat hor..

Actually i know what is causing all these issues at work. Lousy teamwork, bo system and papaya syndrome. The papaya syndrome will cause people to over-rate themselves, and therefore ignore team play and create their own system. Essentially, they all mean the same thing. Seriously, it can work in the past, where information isn't that readily available. To Think that they can win with that little bit of knowledge will be so wrong. And to not have any sense of danger thinking that the job position itself is woon woon jiat been hoon would be so wrong too. Please lah.. this is the age of the internet (and iphone) (and BB too =) ).. what is there to not know? But sadly, the cow is not easily replaceable. But then again, all is not lost.. at least there are cheaper ones out there (and some are better too).

It was 18 months on.. and looking back, i've changed a lot.. and perhaps this is not who i want to be, it was nevertheless more relevant to my work. I could have asked for less of myself.. simply bo chup.. but i still remember that i have a dream. A dream slightly further now.. so that i can see the whole picture.

TGI Sunday

Finally, i resumed my sunday band practices (for today at least). Still find it a bit difficult even though i had the kuti chia to cut down on travelling time. Yet today was different.. coz they are shifting the instruments from boonlay to tampines. So in the end had to travel to boonlay early in the morning.. (i actually woke up at 6am on a sunday) to load, and then drive all the way to tampines to unload.

Pract resumes after the shifting..

As expected, my playing deteriorated again. I might be interested again, but then, maybe not.

Yet today, it was really nice to play with a slightly bigger band. Though the room isn't suited for playing, and the instrumental isn't really very proportionate, it was nice to see everyone back again. Perhaps, i had been away for too long. Even though so, it was the same familiar faces i see. I think we really need new blood.. plenty.. so eventually there will be someone who is willing and able.

The band today reminds me of my sec school band.. and i kind of miss.. how time flies.. Guess it must have been the 90s fish leong's song i had been listening last week.. somehow i felt like an emo nemo.

Band ended in the afternoon, and the reh was schedule at 4pm. I didn't join, but went ikea instead. Had too much errands to run, and i was without a bed for almost half a year. My health is somehow like my playing.. and perhaps it was due to low quality sleep. Somehow, i need to take better care of myself.. now getting older, and problems start surfacing. For one, my eyes sored for almost 4 days, and still no signs of recovery..

Felt like from the movers or something.. early morning move instruments, afternoon move furniture. And their furniture need to self pick.. even the bed also like that. LOL.. self pick bed sia.. think i one-man movers ar? Anyway the kuti chia couldn't accommodate the bed.. (i would be surprised if it could), so had to check it in at the logistics counter. I should have requested for the co. lorry.. coz it cost $50 to get them send to my place. Very ex lor.

Had a very ex lunch at courts' subway.. lol.. coz was really very hungry. By the time i found my way, it was already 2.30pm. Was really driving around in circles coz wasn't too familiar with the roads in tampines. Always turned a turn too early, and ended up in the wrong street. LOL.. what to do.. sometimes a turn too late is even worse lor.

Lunch was nice nevertheless.. coz it was in the middle of the electrical dept, and people are just shopping around me. LOL.. this is rather innovative wor. Maybe i lived in the mountain for too long le, and slowly the well is closing on me.. but i guess this is the way it is. It was a different path.. contrary to what i had been expecting.

Bought quite a few more things, all "home improvements" items.. Really had procrastinated for too long.. and my room is really not to my liking. Especially so it the lighting. The lamp is too dim for my room. Someday i will have it changed.. most probably, a diy task again.

Still a few more errands to run before i can really free myself (for the moment at least). At least things don't just accumulate till it become a colossal problem too much to handle.

I am tired enough for a sunday, and monday will come soon. It won't even be a monday blue.. coz don't know when was the last time i slept past 9am. A long time ago perhaps.

WC 2010 @ SA

Already forgotten about the previous wc.. and if i'm not wrong, it was captured in this blog as well. Well.. time flies.

Couldn't watch all the matches as much as i wanted to, coz working really took much of my energy away. Anyway, work = tired.

That aside, the wc this time round seems quite boring. Maybe coz there are plenty of new teams.. lol. The match is only as exciting as the amount of bet on it.. lol.

Of coz, there are teams which i'll root for every year.. and so far, it remained consistent - Germany. Hoped they win this time round.

2nd

By now, we are already at a replacement for the replacement.

Whatever the reason, the one that came won't be staying.. hopefully the new newbie will.

So far so good, and i am impressed.

Yet, it won't be till aug before the staffing problems are solved. The shortage was felt throughtout.. especially those that were really working.

Was in overdrive mode, and didnt sleep well for the past week. An assignment took us 2 days, and by the time it was done, my whole body was aching. The weather wasn't helping at all. Already was so during work, it was even worse to carry on at home. Well.. at least the absolut black works.. lol.

Better than none, the PH on friday is very much appreciated. Yet the CM went back to the CF to work. The vader went back too.. i guess i should have too.. lol.. but then i don't want to spoil market.. whahaha.. so i stayed at home instead. Eh.. but i stayed till 9 pm for most of last week leh.. i just don't want to intentionally travel to the CF. I could always reach early (for the past 1.5 years, i only had been late once.. and that was only 15 mins late) or stayed after work.

I guess there are always plenty to do at the CF.. and i am glad.

Something Different

Was perhaps the most challenging week thus far since working at the CF.

Plenty happened, and the co. was 2 staff short. One was permanently decommissioned due to leukemia, and the other went overseas for a week. The replacement has yet start work, and the shortage of staff was felt throughout the co.

Plunged into work all day long, and plenty of sides to cover. Was really running around the co. just so that customers won't have to wait too long. With a shop front, things couldn't wait for long.. and when 3 - 4 customers arrived at the same time, the pressure can be quite enormous.

That wasn't enough..

Due to different staff having their own standards, things are very messy. Time is so so much wasted on these things.. and time, in this sense is really money.

The solution was employing more and more staff. IMO, i value technology, procedures and systems over staffs. For one, they are FIXED installations, and they don't try their creativity at the expense of the co. Also, the cost is only one-time.. which means the longer the biz is running, the greater the savings will be. Of coz, there must be backups for hardwares. It is really difficult to find someone that is willing and able with a given amount of funds. You choose, they could too.

I've got lots of things i wished to do.. yet, i was too tied up with the actual work itself, things are just remaining as dreams for the time being.

Took me so long just to get this post completed. By the time this was done, it was already 16th may.

Gestured

Again, i thought i felt something. It was a just a simple gesture, yet it was so comforting.

It was perhaps my own mis-interpretations.. as a result of the antenna being over sensitive.

Nevertheless, this is good enough.

The Same Me

Plenty of thoughts, however much i wished to write it down. Yet all i could find was things to lament about. Don't know since when, the slightest of things will just agitate me.. i could feel that i 'm no longer the same me. A part of me just went missing, and sadly, it was the "better" part of me that is gone.

It all started with work..

It was said, one cannot compare with others. My foot. Don't put me in your shoes, try putting on mine if you might.

Plenty of grudges, yet i tried my best to support the co. . But i'm slowly finding that i can't even support myself. Nothing at all to fall back on.. no one seems to understand, and those that might, i don't wish to worry them. Others, they are just trying to force their past experience on me. As if all things are exactly the same.. the one answer that answers all.

Perhaps i'm in denial.. and till i accept that, everything feels so real - of what is coming, of what had already happened, and of what might have been. Never felt so uncertain in my life, and never been so burdened.

It seems, all choices pertaining to the fate of my employment is wrong. There will never be an answer that answers all. To achieve my own utility means forfeiting that of others. And the others, are those in my village. To make one happy, just take away what he has and then return it to him some time later. The opposite is to give hope and then take it away. Since my coming into the co., there had been some that are hopeful. Yet it seems that it was traded with my own.

Been frustrated all day long, and the fact that someone in the co. is doing solo act is making me rather mad.. coz in the end, all the shit just falls to me. And to reward such person is to show approval of what he did was right. IMO, this is all just making things messy. No system, no order. How to grow?

As i said, if i don't give a damn at all, i might have worked elsewhere. It would satisfy my criterial of a career. Right now, i just feel so useless at the co., even being the one who received the highest education. I filled the job of the mechanic, and given that there are already 2 of them handling the customers, it leaves me with really not much opportunity to learn. Now i could only use my labour to trade for some bread. It is not the hardship, but the feeling of being denied. Being denied to use my skills which i had comparative advantage in to help the co. Being denied to express my frustration being trapped in the "production". Already 1.5 years.. and i can't imagine myself doing this for the rest of my life. And being paid the least among my peers makes me wonder what was the justification.. not to mention that i worked full 6 days week.

Education doesn't mean earning more, but it is a form of requirement. A piece of paper that allows more choices. Yet, it seems that the more education one received, the less willing is one ready to give up the conventional path. A path that guaranteed employment and salary, but one that makes one no different than another. Even though i didn't take the path that a usual graduate might, i ended up trying to figure out the vader's path. Isn't it the same again? I still end up taking someone else's path, and the worst part is i am at a great disadvantage. I wasn't prepared for this path at all. It was like being thrown into the middle of the ocean and trying to figure out how to swim. Yes, there are plenty to see in the ocean.. but if i don't survive, does it matter?

I had learnt to adapt. At least my hokkien is better.. but my temper is turning bad. The people there just don't talk the same way. The loudest will win logic. Confidence will win facts. Since when did schooling teach all these? We are only taught how to score and get good results. In the end i had to learn new skills from the "society uni", and in the shortest possible time, because my working environment dictates it.

All these thoughts had accumulated over time, and now it seems, i became too self-centered. I wanted people to see, and to understand, and i never tried to see it from their point of view. Mundane work schedule had narrowed my viewpoint to that of only work and myself. I started pulling out from things that i used to do. Coz if they are of no direct help in solving problems at work, will they really be worth doing? Yet i think i got it wrong. To narrow the viewpoint leaves me with less experience to solve problems, and it just accumulates. I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. Perhaps i need some external factors to break the cycle. Till then, everything else had to wait.

I have my dreams, but it seems all distant now. I can't even find my direction, what more a dream.

Groom my Room (again)

Was looking at my 'online diary' (which is the blog of course) for the date which i last painted my room. And how time flies. The last coat was done on april 06.. and its already 4 years. Though the coat of paint still looks clean and nice, i wanted a change of colour to match the newly done shelves and wall cabinet. I chose grey.. but it seemed not grey enough.. and so it was quite close to the previous coat, just slightly darker. A bit like the previous coat chao sng like that.

It was nice, and for the 1st time, it took me much time just to complete painting the whole room. Used to take me a day or so, but now it took me weeks. I could have only done it on sundays, in the day where i can see which colour is which. If not, i would have left plenty of spots unpainted coz the two colours were really close. Anyway, it was done, and i liked it. The shelves were done too, commissioned for 1.5k for 2 grand pieces. A bit heart aching and pocket burning, but i think it is money well spent. Right now, the shelve doubles as my work station, and the transformers-like compartment had a chair that doubles as storage space as well. This is after all, custom made.

Days ago, the electrical wall socket failed me, and the whole switch is almost going to pop out. The power point plastic cracked and hence was a rather dangerous piece of equipment to have at home. I had no prior experience in doing electricity, and was quite scared of doing so. The socket cost $3.60, but i don't think my life is worth that little. So in order to guarantee a 100% success in DIY the socket, i asked my colleagues to teach me. Luckily the driver is a qualified electrician (and i wonder why he is a driver...), and he pointed out all the things that i need to look out for. Plenty of help was offered, even to help me change the socket.. but i kindly reject their offer. So long as the precautions are done, it will be quite safe to DIM.

Plenty of pre-DIY tasks to be done, and plenty of checks to ensure that the outlet is no longer carrying current. Just to make sure, i wore rubber gloves and slippers.. haha.. i am quite scared really. Things went well, but it took me 40 mins just to change one. The fridge in the meantime was not running. I had cut all the electricity just to be on the safe side. So mum was trying to get me to do all the other sockets some other days coz the food in the freezer are thawing. Sadly, it was only one of the many sockets that needed change. All of them (all 10 of them) cracked.. the previous contractor had cut cost using inferior goods (and services). So my work is not done.. but at least the condition of the rest of the sockets are not that bad.

Did i mention that i need to do it in broad daylight too? Coz cutting the electricity would cut off the lights as well.. common sense. Plus, it must be done while no much electricity activity is going on around the house. Also, there must be someone else around.. just in case.

Seems like my sundays are pretty much occupied.. working on saturdays is not only tiring, it also affects my schedule. Plus the knock off time is around 6pm - 7pm (and i need another 1 hour or so to clean up myself).. there won't be much time to run errands. I hate to run errands on sundays.. sundays after sundays.. and sundays after sundays. Got so tired that i fell asleep during clubbing sessions. Was getting quite common these days.. perhaps i'm really "old".

Anyway, just quite glad that my room is done, and now left with just the packing and organising.. Now my wish is the get 2 more pieces of furniture that are not mine out of my room. One of the is a computer table (who need them now? i use netbook de wor..), and the other is my sis's piano. Then i need to get a bed too.. had been sleeping without a proper bed for quite some time now, and my bad is really hurting.. But this, perhaps will have to wait for another sunday.

Insight

I need to balance with something constructive..

So that day my one and only customer came to settle some invoice. While i can't increase the sales figure, i do gain a lot just from the conversation. Seems to me that the customers had really quite a bit of ink somewhere. Though i selective sieve though the info, there are some really worth taking note of.

Within a day, i asked the rest of the staff whether the idea would work.. and really they are quite supportive. Well.. almost all. And then i realised why this system would work. It is something really quite common indeed. The best thing is, it works, and there is no need to give any training to staffs. While the computer is really powerful, it just takes too long to implement and train. Why not turn to the pen and paper? Just some modification, the pen and paper can be as powerful.

The customer told me, "use 20% of the time to solve 80% of the problem", and not the other way round. I guess i tend to be much of a perfectionist at times.. and given that this world is not perfect, i would never succeed in my quest for a 100% efficient system. So long as the bulk is taken care of, the time and energy can be channelled elsewhere.

Another thing is that we really do lack the drive. Perhaps the comfort zone is so big that we fail to realise.

Something to ponder.

When Exertion turns Exhaustion

Nothing counts unless you make it known. To each's ability, there are some who just don't know where their strength lies. There is really a something known as innate ability. Musicians, athletes, and even politicians. A mixture of skills and opportunity, perhaps one would shine.. but otherwise, things are pretty much equal.

What i'm trying to say is, do things that is of comparative advantage.. if not this is just a waste of life. Training do help, but only that much.

I don't understand why i am required to be as eloquent as someone else. It is an important skill of coz, and i wished i can talk like that. Yet there things that are still beyond me. I tried, and tried.. and i am tired. Damn tired. Pek chek. Damn Pek chek.

Seems to me that saying the right things is more important than doing the right thing. And guess what? This is so true. People do die by words.

Anyway, i should continue to serve in a way that i feel that is for the benefit for the whole. It feels bad not being recognised.. and even worse, criticised for mistakes that stems from elsewhere. I don't feel that it is fair. Life never is, and never will. I know.

Just a day ago, internal strife broke out, and once again, they quarrelled. And the outcome is the breakdown of communication and therefore hindering work. And then i have to kio all the sai by running around relaying messages. Mistakes by others always end up to me having to kio. I have my limits too. Someday lor.. just don't know which day.

I stopped asking why i had to clear the rubbish or wash the toilet or sweep the floor. Coz the chief mechanic had been doing it all these while.. and seriously, these are tasks that no one likes. Yet he continued to do all these tasks without complain.. or at least he did tried to suppress it.. till that day. From then on, i tried to do my job without complain.. at least not in front of him.

I wonder how long can i keep it within.

Despite all being done, there are people who thinks they sud coz they handle the customers. Just tell me, with no one doing the production, where can i find the chance to be at the front? Not that i don't want. Is that i can't. I can, if i can just let my CM do everything from washing the toilets to handling the production all by himself.. why not? Coz my CM is from my village.

No amount of sighing can make me feel better anytime soon.

Really didn't know what to blog about.. coz things are rather mono these days.

Kuti chia had a few problems over the weekends, but was solved easily by the affiliated mechanics at the CF. Burning smell from the rear turns out to be burning rubber/plastic stuck under the exhaust while the brakes were due to failure of the brake fluids reaching the discs and drums. All in all, another lesson learnt.. one that might be of use some day.

Plenty of things to learn about the automobile.. that is, before the freaking COE went up. Public transport system is really not up to standard.. especially when it takes so long to reach a destination. I need 1.5 hours to reach boonlay on a sunday morning.. but only 25 mins if i'm driving. Saves me so much time.. but waste me so much money.. lol. That is becoz, the cars are super expensive in sg. Well.. can't blame them really.. coz the land is limited, and there is no point just making roads all over the island.

Finally done with giving my room a new coat of paint.. next up, the electrical sockets and the lights. The electricians had done a lousy job, and the wall plug had cracked. One of the power point stopped working and further checks revealed that almost all the wall plugs are cracked. I might had to change them.. if no ones volunteer to do it.. lol. Hopefully someone does.. coz i am not an electrician.

Plenty more to do at work.. plenty of changes, plenty of things more to endure.

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low..

The car was repaired within a day.. and don't know if it is lucky or unlucky.. the car was knocked by another car.. most probably while at the car park. I didn't realised it till the day of repair. Sadly, the new damage cost an additional $120. And to think the one causing the damage just hit and run. Very irresponsible indeed. On the bright side, it was on the same side of the damaged light, so the repair was bundled.. which means it is actually cheaper to do all at the same time. Just my luck.. and really the repairs and installment is taking a toll on my finances.

Still haven't paid for the incoming shelves.. which is another 1.5k or so.. wah... i think the month of march i can go eat grass le. But then again, if it can somehow create a room conducive enough, why not? I need more quality time, coz i don't have the quantity.

Yet not all is lost.. i think i've learnt more at work for the past week. With an additional 1 hour headstart at work (coz i reach 1 hour earlier plus the time savings driving there) gives me the time to learn and go through the previous day's work. I'm too tired after work to do anything else. I don't think anyone understands. Perhaps my threshold level is low. Haha.

Work is especially important now as most things hinges on it. It isn't just about trading time for money. Not only that.. coz it is my future, it is a lifetime, it is a dream, it is what i do as a son, and it is my village.

With that said, i have the intention of dropping out.. till i sort out my time. Perhaps i spent too much time trying to eecc.. and hence shift the blame elsewhere. Perhaps i really need time alone to charge myself.. perhaps a lot, and i suddenly wished that there is more than 24 hours each day. To make matters worse, the quake last week actually shook the earth off its axis.. which shortens the day by don't know how many nano seconds..

In all, things are all coming together in a way that i wasn't too happy about. It is not a single factor, but the cumulative effect, magnitude and multitude. I think that it is still manageable.. given that things are still not too bad. I think i need a bit more happier events in my life.

I'm Back..

.. to the story telling world of mine.

Didn't want to blog for a while.. for it'll just be about work and more work. Think of it already sian.. what more blog somemore.

Been so away that i didn't know where to start.. perhaps, just a bit on what happened during the month of feb.

My last hermit crab went up the lorry.. after over 2 years. I thought it would be a very difficult task to keep one coz my first crab died on the 1st day.. but later discovered it was done for by otherwise. So 2 years is quite a lot.. and for now, i think i'll take a break from keeping pets (one pakki is already very ma fan le..)

And pakki (or parky) got tick infestation.. and i was spending hours daily trying to stop those blood suckers. Luckily they don't jump or fly, so they are quite easy picking. Medication was applied and the infestation was under control. Most likely,he got the infestation during the recent grooming session.. so most probably we won't send him there the next time.

CNY was great.. all thanks to the hin hin co-op. For once, cny wasn't all about red packets and good food.

Sis went overseas, and the kuti chia was under my care again. So now, i really drive to work, and i work to drive. Installments (yes, i'm paying for it since sis won't have any salary for the next one year) plus parking, plus fuel.. is already taking up 35% of my nett cash inflow. Which translates to 70% less savings per month till next may. It is really very costly to drive in sg.. and even more so to repair a car. Just before sis left, the R1 headlights was smashed.. and just to replace the lights cost $400 over. Total cost of repairs (paint and all) cost around $600. And to think that some papaya tried to quote me $900. LOL. Sorry my name is not robert. Actually i already can tell from his face.. hahaha.. i just don't want to expose him nia. So kua zhang lor. Anyway, i'm going to send the kuti R1 for repairs near the CF. Was our designated auto workshop, and so the price was quite good. Even cheaper than $600.. lol.

My spending just kept on increasing. Will be doing a minor renovation of my room, and just the new cupboards and shelves alone will cost nearly 3/4 of my pay.. lol.. think i can eat grass for march le. But my room will be very tidy.. and for the 1st time, a piece (or 2 pieces) of furniture of my own. All the furniture in my room are either from my sis or relatives or my dad.. plus a lot of their things. LOL.. it is really messy cost they don't pack it (since it is in my room), and i can't throw them away.. what better way than to hide them behind a bunch of nice new shelves? Btw, it will be custom made.. muahahahaha...(they can't be found in the market). Ok.. i know it will hurt my bank a lot.. but only for this time.

Inevitably, it is work again. Work became so mundane that i lost a lot of drive.. All the motivations just went away.. plenty of excuses, plenty of reasons.. if you were me, what would you do? I feel that i am wasting time somehow.. and when then will dreams be fulfilled?

My colleagues are not just colleagues.. some of them are my relatives.. And so all my friends became quite important. There are just things that you don't tell relatives.. and really, the age gap is sometimes just too great to patch. Sometimes i don't even know where to find solace.. just kept on boiling my blood, double boil.. then re-boil every other day or so..

Perhaps this is a valid excuse to drink? LOL... i know it is not..

I still need a few more weekends to pack all the things before the carpenters start their work.. plus, i need to give my room a new coat of paint before the shelves come. Plenty to do. Plenty.

Hope there is plenty of work tomorrow, coz i don't want to get scolding just becoz biz is bad, and i just happen to be doing nothing. It is already very pek chek when there are people that is almost doing nothing 24/7, and it is even worse when i get scolding becoz of things they might have done. PUI! A bunch of grapes (with seeds).. and as if i wasn't doing anything. A lot of preparation work goes into a finished product. But as always, the one who last touch it get the most credit. Yes.. last touch.. just touch only. PUI!

See.. blogging is all about work and complains these days.. i better find another month to chill.. I don't have any hairy gong gong story to write here, just plenty of complains and more. Very uninteresting indeed.

Last Week..

Was a rather busy week.. from morning till evening, assignments kept coming in, and OTed till i clock a 14 hour work day. 14 hour.. i could have work 2 days elsewhere.. that is, with a 1.5 hours lunch break.

Work until whole body turned jelly, and i had taken ill for the past 2 days or so. Hated it when i had a runny nose.. coz my hands were too dirty to do anything about it.

Sometimes, i find it hard not to compare. Is it really worth sacrificing everything for? There are things kept only within the village, and coz work and home no longer had the distinction, i find it hard to be profession about this. This really is kind of depressing. The sole reason that binds me to the co. is the village bond.. and should anything happen (again), i will sure quit.

"Give a Man a Fish, Feed Him For a Day. Teach a Man to Fish, Feed Him For a Lifetime." It was said that i am being trained.. and as a bonus, i was given the fishing rod too.. plus, the pond was there as well. But, the rod is faulty, and the pond, god knows how many fishes are left..

After 20 years, the men are weary.. and the equipment are faulty. Some staffs nua nua, while others think they sud sud. A very disorganised small co, and to have any potential to move on, things had to change. Either its the mentality, or the staff. Also, due to negligence or wear and tear, most of the equipment are coming apart.. the vehicles, the machines and all. Its just like fighting war with unorganised troops and blunt weapons. Defeat is definite.

My allegiance, as i said, works on a bond only. I would give everything, could go all out. Even if it means working 16 hours a day, even burning all my saturdays, i still will fight on. Yet, i will never tolerate any disturbance to the village.

Yet, the work load for the past 2 weeks were really very heavy.. non-stop till the body ache never got time to heal. And as usual, anger and frustration sets in, coz i don't understand how come people can reap what others sow.. while conveniently convincing themselves that they are the ones that are doing all the sowing. IMO, actual reaping off people. And work doesn't stop there. It spilled over to home..

I need to be convinced. Coz i'm not the only one being affected. Seeing what was sent to my msn in the middle of night really makes me wonder what all these i'm doing is for really.

I think i had said enough.. while i don't know how things will develop, things shouldn't be too bad.

Yesterday was our co. year end dinner. It was very nice to see all the staffs and their families coming together. And the vader being the boss isn't stingy too. We had quite a sumptous dinner, with roast pig, sea cucumber, sharks fin, abalone and lobsters.. i can see that some of the staffs are really happy. And they are the ones that will stay and give. Saw and felt, and i'll remember. Said i would post pics of the dinner here.. but i guess i won't.

Dinner was heavy, and waited till 1 am before turning in for the day.. woke up rather early on a sunday coz was having an item for MG at boonlay. In the end i was late also.. haha.. still didn't breakthrough.

Thought the performance was rather short.. and i think the audience also didn't realise that it would be so short. But after the performance, heard from some of them that it was kind of nice.. and it was so motivating. I guess this serves the purpose, and just a simple piece will do.

And so, the weekend is short.. before i realise, its already over.

大地回春夏秋冬

Woke up as early on a sunday and went morning gongyo at boonlay with sis.

After mg, went mac at gek poh for breakfast. The cappuccino was nice.. well, at least better than their normal coffee. Their normal coffee really buay lim.. so had to part with a dollar to get the 'upgrade'. Sis was so nice as to give me a treat =)

The BB went flat. It was very inconvenient without my hp, and more so without a BB. I've taken it to be my organiser, my watch, my dictionary, my street directory, my newspaper, my msn, my iris, my web browser, my mp3 player, my camera, my torchlight..

Our band director arranged a cny piece "大地回春" for us to try, and i thought it sound quite unique.. in a nice way i mean. For a band so small in size, and able to diversify the sound, it is no easy task. Of coz, the melody line sounded a bit thin without doubling. We can do more with more players of coz. As to where to get the players, it is for the management to decide. As a member, of coz i hoped to have a larger band to play in.. but even if they decided on the contrary, i'll still do my best, and hope for the best.

Next week, and we might have a performance after mg.. i wondered how will the members feel. Hopefully it will bring them joy.. for this is what really matters.

Electric Dream

The past week was really busy at work. Consignment to rush, plus a shortage of staff at the CF ended up with me taking the bulk of the production. I wondered what is wrong with the allocation.. perhaps the rest are "untouchables", or perhaps they have some form of immunity. In the end, it was always the few that got arrowed.

Suan le. I know i did my part. The rest of the nua bugs and alien i'll wait till the time is right. I've seen, and i know. I will remember. I will make it right if i have the chance.

Work till my body ache every single day. Couldn't get quality sleep and ended up having nightmares consecutively.

Nightmare 1:
Of ah tiang driving me around to places. (Erm.. i don't know how to classify this, but i woke up feeling as if i had lost something dear)

Nightmare 2:
Of death and funeral. (This one is quite scary.. really)

Nightmare 3:
Of running to a destination, yet was helpless coz i lost my way. Asked for direction from a kin, but was being denied. (Helpless.. even in my dream)

Are these dreams related? Or just random thoughts by day, and nightmares by night?

I am Tired. Really.

Things happened at the co. these days, and was something not worth cheering for.

The internal strife started again, and in front of outsiders and customers, a conflict ensues.

I wondered why they just can't get the act together, and perhaps some are really from outer space. It was fault at both sides, and in the end the 'punishment' was meted on me.

It all started from a cmi inventory management, which in theory could be one of the best. Yet as the world is, nothing is foreseeable. With a 'just in time' method, there bound to be 'out of stock' situations. It all translates to lost sales and time wasting. Either we didn't had the goods to supply, or we had to waste strength to modify and reuse. This is super inefficient, considering the size of the co. Yet, some just don't understand.. what we studied is always in ideal conditions.. the rest is up for the individual to decide. To be rigid is to lose the war.. coz never will one battle be the same. Variables are just too many to permutate.

Sometimes, the way some people do things are just too difficult for me to fathom. And to work with them takes much of my energy away. I spent much of my time boiling my blood in a pressure cooker coz a full-scale confrontation will only make the source more resilient to change. Maybe someday i'll just explode like what my colleague did.

Yet, the real source was inefficient time management. There were too much to be done, either through assuming too many duties or wasting too much time doing unnecessary things. In the end there wasn't time to go through. All procedures are in place, yet it was not bothered. Either that, or there is isn't 'enough time'.

I think the vader thinks i had too much time on hand.. lol.. or there isn't really anyone else to delegate the task to. Hence, i ended up with one more duty, on top of a lot of other lqbz things to do.

I'm tired not really becoz of the things i need to do at work.. though they are really physically and mentally tiring. The real reason is that this co. is so messy that it is always very pek cek to work in. Internally, people don't get along, people not wanting to do their tasks, and a lot of other weird things going on. Plus external factors of increased competition and some customers coming in with their own stocks, i wonder really where this is taking me to. I just don't see it, and really is quite stress to be in.

Already steps are in for improvement, and the newest was the plan to introduce dot max printers.. LOL.. though other biz had been using it for aeons. Well, at least it was better than typewriters i supposed. Wanted to use laser printer (we already had one there), but there was concern that the ink will be too expensive in the long run.. but the paper itself is more expensive.. which is of coz. It won't be a surprise if i had to source for a dot max printers one of these days.

Implemented some stock management on my side, and slowly the introduction of stock cards.. that is after i've done counting the physical stock (once again) and print out the cards, plus updating and all that.. on top of making pipes and attending to customers and computer troubleshooting, sweeping the floor, ordering stocks, plus other misc things. There isn't a lot really, only an average of 10 hours of work everyday for 6 days. And i wonder why i am so tired.

There is an option, that is to computerised everything from top down. Yet it is very expensive and not really that flexible to suit the needs of the co. In that case, there will be an overview of stocks from the stores to the mobile. Actually there are inventory systems out there, everywhere. Just that ours are too unique.. till it was sometimes very complicated. To diy is just too time consuming for me.. coz i'm a finance student.

Anyway, my name card is WIP, and i chose not to put any title on it.. my experience is still not worthy of my post, and my degree is not worthy of my job. To not make a mockery, it shall be the same as the rest of them.

I guess this was a move to pre-emp me from taking leave to study.. lol.. i had plans to go on no-pay leave to study something. This is to make this new knowledge applicable to the co. while at the same time perhaps create diversification from the core biz that is facing increasing competiton.

I'm still fortunate now, that there is still time for me to try.. wait a few more years when everything is more or less settled, then the risk will be too high.

Walk Walk

Woke up way before i was supposed to on a sunday. My bio clock was more or less set.

Very much wanted to stay home, but in the end decided to go for band pract. The brasses have improved overall, and it was all to the credit of playing intensively during last week. Well, a bit too intensively i guess.. coz we started pract at 11 while the performance was at 3 plus.

I still liked the 179 more than my 190. The 179 was easier to control and pitch, but the tone colour was quite limited. My 190 was still quite difficult even after 10 years.

Nice pieces they tried for the pract, and it was quite like secondary school days.

I still feel that practices are important.. especially to practice together. Disliked playing alone.. coz i can always do that at home. A rushed performance holds no meaning at all. Last minute preparation always makes me very tired. Well, perhaps the word "no" and "stagnant" cannot be justified at all. I am just frustrated at how things kept repeating.

And i know.

Alighted at kovan and began to search for a particular fast food joint.. sadly, the heartland mall was too small, and i couldn't find what i wanted.

Travelled on NEA and alighted at serangoon.. only to discover it was as barren. By the time, it was already 2pm.. and my stomach was conditioned to be fed before this time. I took for granted that there should be a huge shopping mall at every mrt station.. lol.. and i ended up walking quite a bit trying to find something to eat.

Found, and settled down with a book after lunch. After i started working, i couldn't find time to read.. at least not leisurely. Was meeting my buddy for coffee at 4, and so had a bit of time for some sort of adventure.

In the past, i would have to walk around trying to find my bearings. Now with the BB's GPS, i only need to switch it on once a while to check for the shortest route and general direction. It wasn't trying to find my way than getting there in the shortest time. Use to walk around quite often during my secondary school days, most of the time from bishan to kim keat, but no longer since arthritis. I do enjoy the tranquility of walking alone.. but maybe not in this weather. In the end, i only used 30 mins to reach bishan... lol.. and with time to spare to visit the library.

My friend was late, as usual, and i ended up in the library reading... actually i was only trying to go somewhere with air-con after the walk. Borrowed a book on some subjects which i never took during my uni days.. and perhaps, i was trying to see what interest me these days. And which are of use to me in the future.

A very tired sunday.. but at least it was kind of delighting.

Another First

Just a week into 2010, and history repeats.

No wonder 2nd master was so pek chek. Some just failed to learn, however much they learn. Maybe learn wrongly le..

Work took the center stage in 2009, and most likely to be so in 2010.

It's gonna to be a good good year for the CF, coz there are plans for technological updates. For one, the invoice would be printed instead of typed. The typewriter might be the 1st to go.

My aim is to computerised all inventory and cashsales into one whole management system. Heard from the 'manager' that we were quoted 40k for the whole system. LOL. 40k. I might as well use it to open another satellite. IMO, they think we are cabbage. But that was way before my time. There are quite a few readily available in the market, and during my NSF time, i was already the system to manage ammo supplies. So it isn't something impossible.. just that in the end, how much will it cost.

There is just too much that i think i can do.. lol.. but in fact i know i can't. Yet it won't hurt to try.. even some eventually did. Afterall, setbacks can be devastating at times. Once bitten, twice shy.

Been trying to influence the staffs into picking up some basic computer skills.. afterall, this is the "digital age".. and even the phones are getting smarter.. what more we humans. Regardless the age, i believe they will gain from this. I know many are keen to learn, just that they don't have the opportunity to. And as we age, somehow we are less bulletproof, and so we don't ask. So i teach, and i troubleshoot. Maybe i have talent in teaching? LOL.. who knows. I learn to work, and i work to learn. To learn more about myself somehow, and to use this knowledge to generate something of value.

Work is taking much of my energy, time and thoughts away till i don't have space. I'm trying to make space, but it seems very difficult. Contemplating on giving up quite a few things that seems stagnant coz i don't really like fighting trenched warfare. Talk about sgreans having no drive. LOL. And which was the system that taught us?

Anyway, i don't even know where i belong. Seeing the sentosa countdown clip, i began to wonder where all these interesting things came from. Not us definitely. We are a boring bunch, coz we have to work all day to earn that bit so that we can fully pay for a 99 year lease flat that is now competitively fought for by a lot of people from places that have bigger places than us. And when we have competition, guess where the competition eventually filters to?

Pui. Lol.. i think i might need some of those dolls that my friends are having.

I want to study.. but don't know what to study. Coz i know even if i study, i still won't have drive.. lol.. and it would be a super waste of money coz it is very expensive to study. Plus, 99% of what we studied is not even applicable in work. It helps us to get the job, not retain. And with all sorts of degree and institution coming up, there is no distinction anymore. Where is the point lei? D0n't say i no drive hor.. i no money to buy expensive cert, that's why i no drive.

Anyway, i still hope to start something for 2010, however less space i have. Let this be another first.. unlike the "goal 2010".. which i think would be the last.