When Exertion turns Exhaustion

Nothing counts unless you make it known. To each's ability, there are some who just don't know where their strength lies. There is really a something known as innate ability. Musicians, athletes, and even politicians. A mixture of skills and opportunity, perhaps one would shine.. but otherwise, things are pretty much equal.

What i'm trying to say is, do things that is of comparative advantage.. if not this is just a waste of life. Training do help, but only that much.

I don't understand why i am required to be as eloquent as someone else. It is an important skill of coz, and i wished i can talk like that. Yet there things that are still beyond me. I tried, and tried.. and i am tired. Damn tired. Pek chek. Damn Pek chek.

Seems to me that saying the right things is more important than doing the right thing. And guess what? This is so true. People do die by words.

Anyway, i should continue to serve in a way that i feel that is for the benefit for the whole. It feels bad not being recognised.. and even worse, criticised for mistakes that stems from elsewhere. I don't feel that it is fair. Life never is, and never will. I know.

Just a day ago, internal strife broke out, and once again, they quarrelled. And the outcome is the breakdown of communication and therefore hindering work. And then i have to kio all the sai by running around relaying messages. Mistakes by others always end up to me having to kio. I have my limits too. Someday lor.. just don't know which day.

I stopped asking why i had to clear the rubbish or wash the toilet or sweep the floor. Coz the chief mechanic had been doing it all these while.. and seriously, these are tasks that no one likes. Yet he continued to do all these tasks without complain.. or at least he did tried to suppress it.. till that day. From then on, i tried to do my job without complain.. at least not in front of him.

I wonder how long can i keep it within.

Despite all being done, there are people who thinks they sud coz they handle the customers. Just tell me, with no one doing the production, where can i find the chance to be at the front? Not that i don't want. Is that i can't. I can, if i can just let my CM do everything from washing the toilets to handling the production all by himself.. why not? Coz my CM is from my village.

No amount of sighing can make me feel better anytime soon.