For the Past 3 Days

Felt so lost sitting at the examination hall.. i did study for it.. not that i've given it up. But still, a sudden surge of helplessness, and i've lost my pace. As usual, didn't get to finish the paper... but i dare say.. that i did my best. Well.. maybe on account on the school fees, maybe i'm trying to protect my reputation, maybe i wanted to prove to my parents, maybe it was something else. For whatever reason it is, no longer was there any reservations. Perhaps there was nothing else i could do at the moment except to study. Study.. maybe just memorizing.. not really understanding. Yet for that basic part, i couldn't achieve.. STM... just another convenient excuse.

For the past few days, been studying overnight.. overcame many obstacles on the way... for once, i attempted stats.. haha.. and i did matrix too... lol.. but for now, i'm more worried about econs. I don't want to retake.. 1st, it'll be a stain on my degree.. then i'll have to pay $500 to re-sit fot the paper on top of the burden of year two.. and also .. i might be going alone.. well.. nothing more i could do.. it's already over. Pondering about the past won't help... and letting go is a better option. Just as lying around trying to solve an equation i don't really know.. not only i don't get marks for that.. the rest of the paper is also jeopardized. Haha.. something to do with character i guess.. No wonder i always couldn't finish my exams. Erm.. maybe i'm slow.. haha.. but this time round.. it isn't the same.. i wonder why..

Anyway, 3 papers down.. 2 more to go.. essay based.. ar.. i hate writting essay.. given my limitations on the command of this language... + my atrocious spelling.. and my slow writting speed.. haha.. i predict.. i can only complete 2.5 essays.. lol... it's been that for 'A' levels Econs.. 4 more days to my next paper.. IR.. and that's the worst.. coz i skipped classes.. didn't do assignments.. didn't pay attention.. and for this 60 days of incubation, i didn't touch IR at all.... erm... econs already goner.. don't want another blow to my wallet.. haha..

Seems like i've a lot to type.. just trying to de-stress... de-stress the stress.. lol.. another of my nonsense.