Zzz.. the painkillers i got today cost me $90+.. and for just that few pills. Will the painkillers cure heart pain?
Well.. why it was so expensive was coz it came without any "side effects".. lol.. and probably the only side effect as noted by my friend was, being poor after taking the pills. This sure is burning one huge hole in my wallet.
Just too bad the new consultant insisted that i take the painkillers for anti-inflammatory.. so bo bian also got to take.. haiz.
Suddenly i missed the senior consultant.. haha.. at least she knows that this pill is very expensive.. and had given me the option to just take 2 tabs (which just cost $3+).
Or maybe this is really the elixir that will halt the AS? Whahaha.. so expensive.. must have some forms of 'magical' effect embedded in it right? LOL.
Thankfully the senior consultant will be back for my next visit. Heng ar.
Showing posts with label Arthritis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arthritis. Show all posts
Friday, December 05, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
$1.65 Painkiller can't cure this
The $1.65/pill painkiller worked surprisingly well for AS.. and actually, it was manufactured to be easier on the stomach... just so it happen to cut down on instances of allergic reaction too.
So i tested the new painkiller today, with no side effect.. maybe also no painkilling effect.. lol.. got used to it so much that i can't feel the difference.
Anyway, other things to perhaps, be happy about. 3 FIs announced yesterday that they will compensate/buyback the failed structured products from those deemed vulnerable. By vulnerable they mean those old and/or those that receive little education. Sadly, the matriarch of my village failed to qualify for either criteria. Strangely, it seems that everybody else is supposed to know what a swap is by default. And if you fail to inform investors of the exact risk/reward profile of the product in detail, and then shift all responsibility to investors just becoz they signed on the dotted line is kind of without ethics. And to get staffs not meeting the mark through extensive training or education/knowledge to serve the general population is definitely not a very professional thing to do.
Compensating on a case by case basis is goodwill on the part of the FIs, but vulnerable doesn't always have to apply to old people and those that received little education. Again, finance is not something that everybody knows.. unless it is incorporated in your daily job, or you happen to study finance. Some of the terms like swaps are not something everyone can understand. It isn't a surprised that many still thinks that the structured product is a bond. Why not? the name itself is already misleading. But to compensate through certain criteria is as if that the rest really deserve it for putting implicit trusts in those that sell them the products, so when it fails, they OBG right?
However, i must say that the FIs are working very hard to find a resolution. And now for the rest, there might be an option of letting the product to run for another few more years till maturity. Yet, it just prove to be even more sleepless nights.. imagine having to wake up every morning wondering whether your investment is safe.. and it all happened becoz you thought it was having a similar risk profiles of a bond.
So that day on ST, someone said that it is unfair for FIs to compensate for the losses of the investors becoz it is in black and white. And then this someone compared the investors to gamblers of a casino saying that you can't demand a return of your chips from the casino operator just because you lost them on the tables. And if this is possible, the shareholders of listed companies can also demand compensation for a fall in share prices. IMO, if it doesn't happen to you, you won't feel the pain.. however, that is besides the point.
For:-
(the "you" refer to the author of the article)
1) Investors are not gamblers. You gamble with that knowledge of losing everything.. but bond investors (as some of the investor are being misled into thinking that they are bond investors) are those with low risk profiles. Heard of risk aversion? Heard of equity premium puzzle? (and even though so, the minibond is NOT even a bond, so there might be no premium puzzle)
2) Gambling is a zero sum game. Either the casino wins or the punters win. There is no win-win situation. Investing on the other hand is SUPPOSED to be a win-win situation for the FIs and investors.
3) Investors do not over-invest. They just failed to diversify. Why diversify if you truly believed that this so called "bond" (which i must stress again is not a bond) is SUPPOSED to be safe? Then you will diversify your interest away don't you? And failure to diversify is not over-gambling.
4) Gamblers can choose whatever game they wished to play, without the dealer influencing them on their decision. Some sales staff from the FIs try to sell the structured products to people who just want a simple fixed deposit. You really think those being swayed by the sales staffs really deserved it? Do you think they represent the product in a fair manner?
5) Shareholders are owners, investors are lenders. In anycase, lenders are creditors that have a priority claim higher than that of a shareholder in the event of insolvency. To par shareholders with lenders is another load of bull. If they are the same, why don't they share some of the profits with the investors?
6) Shareholders can hold the management liable if they failed to perform (for example the dropping of share prices) in the coming AGM by replacing those responsible.. but for the investors, what real option do they have in this case? Lawsuit? Protest? And even so, they do not solve the root of the problem.
I'm just short of flaming the author.. and already this entry is slightly altered to omit the more unfriendly expression. But after reading his/her full article, it is something really IHO (in his/her opinion), and perhaps the greatest mistake is making it into the ST.. that's all.
Of coz, to make shareholders pay (through a fall in share prices) is not fair, neither is making taxpayers pay through fiscal/monetary policies. For sure, this is hardly a win-win situation.. coz someone, somewhere, has already won. The money is somewhere else, maybe in some high-end SPA, but nowhere near that is.
There won't be any solution soon, and the solution won't be as clear cut as those being compensated in full. Every decision is critical.. and so it is putting a lot of stress on the village's matriarch. You think she really deserves it?
So i tested the new painkiller today, with no side effect.. maybe also no painkilling effect.. lol.. got used to it so much that i can't feel the difference.
Anyway, other things to perhaps, be happy about. 3 FIs announced yesterday that they will compensate/buyback the failed structured products from those deemed vulnerable. By vulnerable they mean those old and/or those that receive little education. Sadly, the matriarch of my village failed to qualify for either criteria. Strangely, it seems that everybody else is supposed to know what a swap is by default. And if you fail to inform investors of the exact risk/reward profile of the product in detail, and then shift all responsibility to investors just becoz they signed on the dotted line is kind of without ethics. And to get staffs not meeting the mark through extensive training or education/knowledge to serve the general population is definitely not a very professional thing to do.
Compensating on a case by case basis is goodwill on the part of the FIs, but vulnerable doesn't always have to apply to old people and those that received little education. Again, finance is not something that everybody knows.. unless it is incorporated in your daily job, or you happen to study finance. Some of the terms like swaps are not something everyone can understand. It isn't a surprised that many still thinks that the structured product is a bond. Why not? the name itself is already misleading. But to compensate through certain criteria is as if that the rest really deserve it for putting implicit trusts in those that sell them the products, so when it fails, they OBG right?
However, i must say that the FIs are working very hard to find a resolution. And now for the rest, there might be an option of letting the product to run for another few more years till maturity. Yet, it just prove to be even more sleepless nights.. imagine having to wake up every morning wondering whether your investment is safe.. and it all happened becoz you thought it was having a similar risk profiles of a bond.
So that day on ST, someone said that it is unfair for FIs to compensate for the losses of the investors becoz it is in black and white. And then this someone compared the investors to gamblers of a casino saying that you can't demand a return of your chips from the casino operator just because you lost them on the tables. And if this is possible, the shareholders of listed companies can also demand compensation for a fall in share prices. IMO, if it doesn't happen to you, you won't feel the pain.. however, that is besides the point.
For:-
(the "you" refer to the author of the article)
1) Investors are not gamblers. You gamble with that knowledge of losing everything.. but bond investors (as some of the investor are being misled into thinking that they are bond investors) are those with low risk profiles. Heard of risk aversion? Heard of equity premium puzzle? (and even though so, the minibond is NOT even a bond, so there might be no premium puzzle)
2) Gambling is a zero sum game. Either the casino wins or the punters win. There is no win-win situation. Investing on the other hand is SUPPOSED to be a win-win situation for the FIs and investors.
3) Investors do not over-invest. They just failed to diversify. Why diversify if you truly believed that this so called "bond" (which i must stress again is not a bond) is SUPPOSED to be safe? Then you will diversify your interest away don't you? And failure to diversify is not over-gambling.
4) Gamblers can choose whatever game they wished to play, without the dealer influencing them on their decision. Some sales staff from the FIs try to sell the structured products to people who just want a simple fixed deposit. You really think those being swayed by the sales staffs really deserved it? Do you think they represent the product in a fair manner?
5) Shareholders are owners, investors are lenders. In anycase, lenders are creditors that have a priority claim higher than that of a shareholder in the event of insolvency. To par shareholders with lenders is another load of bull. If they are the same, why don't they share some of the profits with the investors?
6) Shareholders can hold the management liable if they failed to perform (for example the dropping of share prices) in the coming AGM by replacing those responsible.. but for the investors, what real option do they have in this case? Lawsuit? Protest? And even so, they do not solve the root of the problem.
I'm just short of flaming the author.. and already this entry is slightly altered to omit the more unfriendly expression. But after reading his/her full article, it is something really IHO (in his/her opinion), and perhaps the greatest mistake is making it into the ST.. that's all.
Of coz, to make shareholders pay (through a fall in share prices) is not fair, neither is making taxpayers pay through fiscal/monetary policies. For sure, this is hardly a win-win situation.. coz someone, somewhere, has already won. The money is somewhere else, maybe in some high-end SPA, but nowhere near that is.
There won't be any solution soon, and the solution won't be as clear cut as those being compensated in full. Every decision is critical.. and so it is putting a lot of stress on the village's matriarch. You think she really deserves it?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Theme Hospital (again)
Was at ttsh for my follow up... coz the medication caused an allergy reaction. The pill used to work for me, but no longer. Perhaps older, and the system can no longer cope with the medication.
So the pill was 'upgraded'. A newer, better, and more expensive drug. Supposed to have less probability of a reaction.. i hope. Will take the least possible dose and wait again for any reaction.. hopefully this new med will work for me.
The new pills cost $80 more per month (!).. coz it is still new.. just hope that i won't have to rely on them.. for i can do a lot more other things with that $80. Anyway, it was prescribed for me to use when the pain become unbearable. $1.60 per pill leh.. got pain i also say no pain.
Still don't know will get an allergy reaction or not.. till then ba..
So the pill was 'upgraded'. A newer, better, and more expensive drug. Supposed to have less probability of a reaction.. i hope. Will take the least possible dose and wait again for any reaction.. hopefully this new med will work for me.
The new pills cost $80 more per month (!).. coz it is still new.. just hope that i won't have to rely on them.. for i can do a lot more other things with that $80. Anyway, it was prescribed for me to use when the pain become unbearable. $1.60 per pill leh.. got pain i also say no pain.
Still don't know will get an allergy reaction or not.. till then ba..
Friday, October 17, 2008
Theme Polyclinic
Woke up quite early today coz i got an appointment with the dermatologist at mount e. Of all places, why there? Well, it really cost much the same elsewhere for some of the procedures.. might as well get the opinion from a specialist. Of coz when there is a chance to save, i would.. that's why i spent quite the other half of the day in a polyclinic to get a referral to NSC. Anyway, just sort of a "routine" checkup quite distant from any forms of arthritis thus far.
If being older means a greater need to take care of one's health, then this is it. A friend that sent me an email made it quite a point to have a healthy body before doing anything thing else (the one about stones in a jar). This is my top priority now. Having 2 health issues to tackle simultaneously is not a very delightful thing to do, yet with age, the cost of procrastinating is higher. So what better time to get it done than now? I'm unemployed by choice (perhaps even cyclically unemployed, i won't know), coz i've got issues to iron out. I admit i'm being defiant for not being/sounding enthusiastic in finding a job.. yet it would be unfair to say i didn't want to work. I've got 6 medical appointments in the month of october, and another few more in november.. and perhaps even more at a later date coz of the newer one at NSC. Try to find me an employer that won't find it a nuisance (as in working for just 3 out of 4 weeks). Judging me without understanding the whole issue is getting quite disturbing lately. Yet, if you don't tell, they won't know. Partially my fault.. yet one don't go about telling people about these things (perhaps i niam a lot to some of you.. but only a few knew.. maybe only my mum knew what was going on).
Again, this is just a "routine" medical checkup that needs quite a bit of time to have it settled (with all the testings and such), and hopefully it is just this once where i need to get it done.
And so after the visit to mount e, i was referred to a polyclinic. It was just like another repeat of the scenario almost a decade ago with the arthritis. Mount e to polyclinic then to hospital. And for that arthritis, the whole village spent 6 months from GPs, to acupuncture, to take TCM, and all the other stuffs. But no one could diagnose the arthritis.. that is until my aunt recommended an osteologist and all it took was a simple blood test to make a correct diagnosis. 6 months lor.
Its been 10 years since i last visited any polyclinics (i usually go to the GP near my place for some minor flu and cough).. and it changed a lot. Very high tech (a bit like sua ku wor.. hahaha) coz of the automated registration system. And the whole place is air-conditioned! LOL.. coz a long long time ago, it wasn't.. and then the whole place is like very messy with all the people waiting at the same place. Not sick see liao also sick. Now it was so much organised wor.. and then the doctor, staffs and even the police guards are so polite lor. Really can nominate for good service le.
Just that as with all "theme games", there is a need to move from departments to departments.. lol.. that is a lot of moving around, number calling and seeing new rooms and equipments. But overall, still quite efficient... from the time i registered till the time i left, it took me just around an hour.
Well, i rather not have more of this kind of theme games to play.. but seems the next one coming up is "theme NSC".
And i'm quite tired of 'playing' le.
If being older means a greater need to take care of one's health, then this is it. A friend that sent me an email made it quite a point to have a healthy body before doing anything thing else (the one about stones in a jar). This is my top priority now. Having 2 health issues to tackle simultaneously is not a very delightful thing to do, yet with age, the cost of procrastinating is higher. So what better time to get it done than now? I'm unemployed by choice (perhaps even cyclically unemployed, i won't know), coz i've got issues to iron out. I admit i'm being defiant for not being/sounding enthusiastic in finding a job.. yet it would be unfair to say i didn't want to work. I've got 6 medical appointments in the month of october, and another few more in november.. and perhaps even more at a later date coz of the newer one at NSC. Try to find me an employer that won't find it a nuisance (as in working for just 3 out of 4 weeks). Judging me without understanding the whole issue is getting quite disturbing lately. Yet, if you don't tell, they won't know. Partially my fault.. yet one don't go about telling people about these things (perhaps i niam a lot to some of you.. but only a few knew.. maybe only my mum knew what was going on).
Again, this is just a "routine" medical checkup that needs quite a bit of time to have it settled (with all the testings and such), and hopefully it is just this once where i need to get it done.
And so after the visit to mount e, i was referred to a polyclinic. It was just like another repeat of the scenario almost a decade ago with the arthritis. Mount e to polyclinic then to hospital. And for that arthritis, the whole village spent 6 months from GPs, to acupuncture, to take TCM, and all the other stuffs. But no one could diagnose the arthritis.. that is until my aunt recommended an osteologist and all it took was a simple blood test to make a correct diagnosis. 6 months lor.
Its been 10 years since i last visited any polyclinics (i usually go to the GP near my place for some minor flu and cough).. and it changed a lot. Very high tech (a bit like sua ku wor.. hahaha) coz of the automated registration system. And the whole place is air-conditioned! LOL.. coz a long long time ago, it wasn't.. and then the whole place is like very messy with all the people waiting at the same place. Not sick see liao also sick. Now it was so much organised wor.. and then the doctor, staffs and even the police guards are so polite lor. Really can nominate for good service le.
Just that as with all "theme games", there is a need to move from departments to departments.. lol.. that is a lot of moving around, number calling and seeing new rooms and equipments. But overall, still quite efficient... from the time i registered till the time i left, it took me just around an hour.
Well, i rather not have more of this kind of theme games to play.. but seems the next one coming up is "theme NSC".
And i'm quite tired of 'playing' le.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Better
Finally, the swelling went away. Just that i might need a new class of pills. NSAIDs are out for now.
Better, as in everything and anything. To link everything up to previous episodes would be very unfair, and really, i've already forgotten a lot.
Couldn't recall anymore on most things, so i guess everything is now a new experience for me. That includes going about finding a new painkiller and going for physio (if they stop asking me to perform those clown tricks with the ah pehs and ah mas).. which although is nothing new to me in some way.. well, i do hoped that at a different age, the experience would be different as well.. and maybe a new and positive perspective as to why all these big changes happen to fall on me.
I do not blame anyone, especially my mum.. coz she always thought she's responsible for my arthritis.. from not eating well during her pregnancy to not finding a nanny in time to take care of me.. but really, sometimes it just happens even if you don't do anything.
Anyway, sometime really very pek chek over a lot of things, but it is always good not to linger for too long.
Better, as in everything and anything. To link everything up to previous episodes would be very unfair, and really, i've already forgotten a lot.
Couldn't recall anymore on most things, so i guess everything is now a new experience for me. That includes going about finding a new painkiller and going for physio (if they stop asking me to perform those clown tricks with the ah pehs and ah mas).. which although is nothing new to me in some way.. well, i do hoped that at a different age, the experience would be different as well.. and maybe a new and positive perspective as to why all these big changes happen to fall on me.
I do not blame anyone, especially my mum.. coz she always thought she's responsible for my arthritis.. from not eating well during her pregnancy to not finding a nanny in time to take care of me.. but really, sometimes it just happens even if you don't do anything.
Anyway, sometime really very pek chek over a lot of things, but it is always good not to linger for too long.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Allergy
I am allergic to many things, and indomethacin is one of them. Now Naproxen also wants to join in the fun.
Was given painkillers for AS, most likely the same old medication i used to have, but the packaging and colour changed. Strangely, i suspect that i might have an allergy reaction after taking.. so i reduced the dose by half. Sure enough, 3 hours later, my eyes swell like don't know what.
Luckily i just took 1/2 the dose. Full dose, who knows?
So i called ttsh today, and they are all so polite.. hahaha.. can vote them for the best service award le.
I guess i might be back there in some time soon. Sooner than the follow up appointment 2 weeks later. See what i mean? It's like back to 9 years ago where i visit ttsh every 2 weeks, doing blood test every time, and wait for hours for the lab report. Now i know what i can do le.. that is.. bring PSP! hahahaha.. 9 yrs ago don't have psp.. now got liao must make use wor.. lol.. i'm so 'looking forward' (as if.. but i got no choice ma..)to my next visit.
This october is looking bad le.. it seems like a month of visiting doctors. Thankfully, i can have the time to settle these without disruption to my work (if there is any work). Hopefully i can settle all these once and for all by next year.
This is a pic of my swollen eyes....... do not scroll down if you are eating.. lol..
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Sigh.
Was given painkillers for AS, most likely the same old medication i used to have, but the packaging and colour changed. Strangely, i suspect that i might have an allergy reaction after taking.. so i reduced the dose by half. Sure enough, 3 hours later, my eyes swell like don't know what.
Luckily i just took 1/2 the dose. Full dose, who knows?
So i called ttsh today, and they are all so polite.. hahaha.. can vote them for the best service award le.
I guess i might be back there in some time soon. Sooner than the follow up appointment 2 weeks later. See what i mean? It's like back to 9 years ago where i visit ttsh every 2 weeks, doing blood test every time, and wait for hours for the lab report. Now i know what i can do le.. that is.. bring PSP! hahahaha.. 9 yrs ago don't have psp.. now got liao must make use wor.. lol.. i'm so 'looking forward' (as if.. but i got no choice ma..)to my next visit.
This october is looking bad le.. it seems like a month of visiting doctors. Thankfully, i can have the time to settle these without disruption to my work (if there is any work). Hopefully i can settle all these once and for all by next year.
This is a pic of my swollen eyes....... do not scroll down if you are eating.. lol..
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Sigh.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Theme Hospital
After 4 hours at TTSH, was finally back home.
TTSH was so upgraded le.. now registration also automated. Just scan will do. So convenient wor.
I thought it would be a routine checkup, but seems like i've got to go for another round of adjustment again. On the bright side, at least now i start with the correct clinic.
My whole day was spent going around ttsh (actually all the clinics are at B1 nia) but felt like a patient inside "theme hospital".. from specialist clinic to blood test clinic to x-ray department then back to the clinic and finally to the pharmacy.. it was quite depressing lor. Everywhere i went, i was the youngest patient.. how sian it was. The blood sample taken from me were much more than usual.. And i didn't quite like taking X-rays too.. hahaha.. coz got to remove my clothing and wear the weird robe.. and.. and... the robe is wear liao like never wear like that lor. Then still got to 'pose' on the glass-like bed.. ar...... Like that even more depressed le.
With the confirmation from the x-ray, my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) (not the restricted artistic hor) got 'upgraded' to ankylosing spondylitis (AS). -____- The name get more and more chim. It wasn't so much of the leg now, but rather the spine. It seems that it might actually be a case of AS instead of RA.. which means the inflammation from the outset was just another prelude. This prelude took almost 10 years.. coz only now then, can the X-ray confirm everything. If anyone can make a vineyard out of this, i say i'd rather trade it for a papaya plantation.
Actually quite some 4 years ago, i already felt uncomfortable.. but i thought it was something else.. maybe something even more sinister. But now everything is solved. Almost. At least the eventual worse case scenario of AS isn't very very bad... that is if the worst case ever happens. It might never happen. At least won't be paralyzed, and won't die from AS.. just a great deal of prolonged discomfort, pain, and stiffness.. i'm already lucky. At least i am not disabled.
Very sian day, starting with a very sian dream. I'm just so glad that the staff at ttsh are all very polite.. it just make me feel a little bit better. A little bit, is already a lot le. Let it just only be today.. let it not be the lord of the rings for me or anybody else in the future.
TTSH was so upgraded le.. now registration also automated. Just scan will do. So convenient wor.
I thought it would be a routine checkup, but seems like i've got to go for another round of adjustment again. On the bright side, at least now i start with the correct clinic.
My whole day was spent going around ttsh (actually all the clinics are at B1 nia) but felt like a patient inside "theme hospital".. from specialist clinic to blood test clinic to x-ray department then back to the clinic and finally to the pharmacy.. it was quite depressing lor. Everywhere i went, i was the youngest patient.. how sian it was. The blood sample taken from me were much more than usual.. And i didn't quite like taking X-rays too.. hahaha.. coz got to remove my clothing and wear the weird robe.. and.. and... the robe is wear liao like never wear like that lor. Then still got to 'pose' on the glass-like bed.. ar...... Like that even more depressed le.
With the confirmation from the x-ray, my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) (not the restricted artistic hor) got 'upgraded' to ankylosing spondylitis (AS). -____- The name get more and more chim. It wasn't so much of the leg now, but rather the spine. It seems that it might actually be a case of AS instead of RA.. which means the inflammation from the outset was just another prelude. This prelude took almost 10 years.. coz only now then, can the X-ray confirm everything. If anyone can make a vineyard out of this, i say i'd rather trade it for a papaya plantation.
Actually quite some 4 years ago, i already felt uncomfortable.. but i thought it was something else.. maybe something even more sinister. But now everything is solved. Almost. At least the eventual worse case scenario of AS isn't very very bad... that is if the worst case ever happens. It might never happen. At least won't be paralyzed, and won't die from AS.. just a great deal of prolonged discomfort, pain, and stiffness.. i'm already lucky. At least i am not disabled.
Very sian day, starting with a very sian dream. I'm just so glad that the staff at ttsh are all very polite.. it just make me feel a little bit better. A little bit, is already a lot le. Let it just only be today.. let it not be the lord of the rings for me or anybody else in the future.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Swollen Feet
Got up from bed around 10am+, and i thought i've stepped on something early in the morning. Turned up to be that my feet was swollen, and it became so numb that i almost can't feel my feet touching the floor.
I guess it must have another flare up of arthritis. Been aching all over, quite permanently and sometimes really irritated by it. Yet at other times, i've quite forgotten about it. My 'extra' weight (that is 4kgs)is putting quite a strain on my feet.. plus i've carried my baobei horn (that is another 4kgs) around for the whole of yesterday. No wonder i'm aching all over.
Anyway, the next medical follow up is just next month.
Sometimes i niam a lot coz i don't want to forget how bad it was when it all started.. i'm already quite thankful that it got better.. however slight.
I guess it must have another flare up of arthritis. Been aching all over, quite permanently and sometimes really irritated by it. Yet at other times, i've quite forgotten about it. My 'extra' weight (that is 4kgs)is putting quite a strain on my feet.. plus i've carried my baobei horn (that is another 4kgs) around for the whole of yesterday. No wonder i'm aching all over.
Anyway, the next medical follow up is just next month.
Sometimes i niam a lot coz i don't want to forget how bad it was when it all started.. i'm already quite thankful that it got better.. however slight.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Medical Review
After 11 months, i'm back to TTSH for the review of my arthritis again.
Some changes to the surroundings, and also the staff and equipment... plus, a new building just outside the MRT station.. lol.. it was still under construction the other time wor.
Don't know why, the hospital seems to be quite busy, with a lot of people.. and most of them are in wheelchairs. The department i went to was as crowded as well.. seems like more and more patients le.. but still, i'm one of the youngest around.. hahaha... how sad.
So today, the specialist told me something new after soooo many years.. that, it could affect my eyes.. wah.. i knew it could run to various places, but the eyes also? Hmm.. really don't know what to say.. lol..
Anyway, nothing much, just to update my doctor about my condition.. it had more or less been like that since the 2nd year.. so i don't expect much changes.. Well, i could be discharged after the next appointment, which is a year from now.. it all depends on the condition ba.
Might as well.. nothing much to be done le.
Some changes to the surroundings, and also the staff and equipment... plus, a new building just outside the MRT station.. lol.. it was still under construction the other time wor.
Don't know why, the hospital seems to be quite busy, with a lot of people.. and most of them are in wheelchairs. The department i went to was as crowded as well.. seems like more and more patients le.. but still, i'm one of the youngest around.. hahaha... how sad.
So today, the specialist told me something new after soooo many years.. that, it could affect my eyes.. wah.. i knew it could run to various places, but the eyes also? Hmm.. really don't know what to say.. lol..
Anyway, nothing much, just to update my doctor about my condition.. it had more or less been like that since the 2nd year.. so i don't expect much changes.. Well, i could be discharged after the next appointment, which is a year from now.. it all depends on the condition ba.
Might as well.. nothing much to be done le.
Monday, September 24, 2007
An "Old Friend" of Mine
And then i got a visit again these two days. (or maybe longer)
It was from, quite an "old friend" of mine la.. haha.. but this time round, i don't know how long it'll stay. LOL.. and what's worse, i got to hide it from the villagers.. and was so much more of a hassle. Perhaps i know why it came about.. but perhaps it wasn't becoz of that.. but it sure was quite unwelcomed.. haha.. oh ya.. i knew it for 8 years lo.. and i was referring to, arthritis.
Forgot when was the visit the previous time, but i sure didn't like that.. haha.. and since i've almost forgotten, i was reminded again. Haha.. and i still didn't like it... especially now much "older" and finding the threshold of pain getting lower.. or was it more painful now? I don't know.. as i've said, i've really forgotten how bad it was the other time, or when it first started.
I think the village chief spotted it the first thing in the morning when i woke up.. haha.. quite difficult to act alright without much practice.. lol.. so i quickly brush up and hid inside my room.
Of coz, i didn't want anyone to worry.. lol.. less the nagging of coz. In their opinion, there must be something i've done wrong (for eg. sleeping late).. so like that lor..
And special thanks to pandol extend.. lol.. i wondered what my acting would be without it.. hahaa...
So i guess, this friend will stay for quite a few more day and hopefully done enough visiting for a while.. and of coz, there might be something on my part as well.
(This entry is done as a medical record for my arthritis)
It was from, quite an "old friend" of mine la.. haha.. but this time round, i don't know how long it'll stay. LOL.. and what's worse, i got to hide it from the villagers.. and was so much more of a hassle. Perhaps i know why it came about.. but perhaps it wasn't becoz of that.. but it sure was quite unwelcomed.. haha.. oh ya.. i knew it for 8 years lo.. and i was referring to, arthritis.
Forgot when was the visit the previous time, but i sure didn't like that.. haha.. and since i've almost forgotten, i was reminded again. Haha.. and i still didn't like it... especially now much "older" and finding the threshold of pain getting lower.. or was it more painful now? I don't know.. as i've said, i've really forgotten how bad it was the other time, or when it first started.
I think the village chief spotted it the first thing in the morning when i woke up.. haha.. quite difficult to act alright without much practice.. lol.. so i quickly brush up and hid inside my room.
Of coz, i didn't want anyone to worry.. lol.. less the nagging of coz. In their opinion, there must be something i've done wrong (for eg. sleeping late).. so like that lor..
And special thanks to pandol extend.. lol.. i wondered what my acting would be without it.. hahaa...
So i guess, this friend will stay for quite a few more day and hopefully done enough visiting for a while.. and of coz, there might be something on my part as well.
(This entry is done as a medical record for my arthritis)
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Another Depressing Entry
Felt a tremendous pain at my joints.. it seems to be another of those arthritic flare ups. Finding difficulity getting around in the house.. not to mention getting to school. As it happens.. was missing from POA again.. guess i should be having nightmares of Mr Balwant soon.. haha.. With the pain, tonight will be another sleepness night.
If the flare up doesn't subside, i won't be able to make it to Bash.. If it really does happen, might as well. Have been drinking way too much.. It wasn't like that in the past. I guess the chalet that time have opened the path.. Sometimes i just wondered, what had really happened to me. I should be happy.. if not happier. But the more was said, the greater the distance was laid. I'm already trying... trying to bring back the balance. If things were to change overnight, it might just frighten me. Not that i'm glad at the way things were, but maybe relieved that even if it were, and no matter what i do, it just continues. At least i won't have to worry about what to do. It just gets attracted to the ending intended.
Reality bites.. so yesterday just met up with my senior for a drink. Someone that i lost touch over my years after Secondary. Heard a lot of stories.. and was actually quite worried. After the passing of another senior just last year, it got me worried about some of the people that were once closed to me. And we talked about a lot.. from our secondary days till now.. it seems so much have changed. No longer were we just kids.. After going through, people will change. And i dislike change... yet it is all inveitable.. especially at this age. Still schooling.. after that still have to work.. and that will change us too.. Used to have things my way.. but the dust isn't settled.. wait till i'm older.. maybe i could just find the stability i'm looking for then. And so i chatted with my senior.. a lot of things really caught me by surprise. Never could i imagine it then. And not even now i can feel it.. just because it doesn't occur to me personally. No amount of words i say could change anything, because i as an SLE won't understand.. not with my personality even if the same occurs to me. I just wish that everyone is well.. especially when the festive season is just round the corner.
Just werid that we usually don't follow what we preached.. it is always too easy to say than to put it into action. And the worst part is.. it seems very hypocritical. Everyone is the same.
Now it seems that problems either make or break you.. as it goes, it is either double or nothing.
What a depressing entry.. just couldn't help it. The shock is really building up.. had to find ways to discharge... So now for a more 'serious' entry.. my stupid phone is giving me problems.. The LED has finally decided to take a break.. hahaa.. that means its time to change the phone.
Lol.. think the entries these days are really depressing.. will get depression if overdosed. Sometimes i don't even understand what i'm typing.. it all goes with the way my feelings go. And then i have a conclusion. (or such that i suppose) Logical and emotional at the wrong time. And so i know... i might just change.. okok.. i'm trying.. just give me some more time.
If the flare up doesn't subside, i won't be able to make it to Bash.. If it really does happen, might as well. Have been drinking way too much.. It wasn't like that in the past. I guess the chalet that time have opened the path.. Sometimes i just wondered, what had really happened to me. I should be happy.. if not happier. But the more was said, the greater the distance was laid. I'm already trying... trying to bring back the balance. If things were to change overnight, it might just frighten me. Not that i'm glad at the way things were, but maybe relieved that even if it were, and no matter what i do, it just continues. At least i won't have to worry about what to do. It just gets attracted to the ending intended.
Reality bites.. so yesterday just met up with my senior for a drink. Someone that i lost touch over my years after Secondary. Heard a lot of stories.. and was actually quite worried. After the passing of another senior just last year, it got me worried about some of the people that were once closed to me. And we talked about a lot.. from our secondary days till now.. it seems so much have changed. No longer were we just kids.. After going through, people will change. And i dislike change... yet it is all inveitable.. especially at this age. Still schooling.. after that still have to work.. and that will change us too.. Used to have things my way.. but the dust isn't settled.. wait till i'm older.. maybe i could just find the stability i'm looking for then. And so i chatted with my senior.. a lot of things really caught me by surprise. Never could i imagine it then. And not even now i can feel it.. just because it doesn't occur to me personally. No amount of words i say could change anything, because i as an SLE won't understand.. not with my personality even if the same occurs to me. I just wish that everyone is well.. especially when the festive season is just round the corner.
Just werid that we usually don't follow what we preached.. it is always too easy to say than to put it into action. And the worst part is.. it seems very hypocritical. Everyone is the same.
Now it seems that problems either make or break you.. as it goes, it is either double or nothing.
What a depressing entry.. just couldn't help it. The shock is really building up.. had to find ways to discharge... So now for a more 'serious' entry.. my stupid phone is giving me problems.. The LED has finally decided to take a break.. hahaa.. that means its time to change the phone.
Lol.. think the entries these days are really depressing.. will get depression if overdosed. Sometimes i don't even understand what i'm typing.. it all goes with the way my feelings go. And then i have a conclusion. (or such that i suppose) Logical and emotional at the wrong time. And so i know... i might just change.. okok.. i'm trying.. just give me some more time.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
The Traffic Jam
Almost a month more to xmas.. and it seems the same to me always. What can i look forward to? Presents? Cards? Chocolates? But all i want for xmas is..
Not my two front teeth of coz.. i still had them. Not for the removal of my braces of coz.. they were gone a few months ago. Not for my studies.. yet. Still a few more months till exams.. Not for money.. yet.. My manager just asked me to get ready to work again..plus i got extra 'income'.. Not for band or whatever.. i don't really care now.. and actually i just want to not know.
Feels like getting stuck in a traffic jam on a rainy day.. knew the outcome would be late and yet panic and woes are common... It's been that.. and anger soon sets in. At the one driver, other road users and every other passangers.. not once did the fingers point on oneself. And if one could set off early, even if there was, one could easily ride over. And the best part is.. for all that jam, one can't even see what was happening.. how long was the jam and so on.. the great unknown was what strikes fear. Handicapped.. not being able to turn back.. and for some, the chose to stay on even there was an exit.. not quite the correct one.. but it was at least definate. More fuel wasted, but at least it'll get somewhere for the moment.. Not like those that are stuck and still PRETEND they are driving..arrr.. So much for traffic jams.. hahaa..
If i continued more, i guess people will complain. Comprehension they said.. hahaa.. and i agree. The Jade Eagle that 'pretend' not to be in LBO on monday once told me that.. and i think she's the only one. But i always envy her.. maybe all i want for xmas is a shorter antenna.
I really really am drained these days.. trying to be someone. Just that someone that i used to be.
Went TTSH (Mr Tan Hospital) for my check-ups on Arthritis.. as usual.. but my doctor shorten the gap of next visit from one year to six months coz i've been 'attacked' again.. haiz. History likes to repeat it seems. And bad enough, i had to do blood test today - on a syringe! Shadows .. haha.. coz my first bloodtest was done by a doctor in A&E on a syringe.. and as you all know, they are quite 'in a hurry' to save lifes.. haha.. so it was very painful. Other factors include a 'grumpy' nurse.. haa.. Well, i can understand why.. having to deal with blood and urine samples ain't a fun job.. But due to my overwhelming bloodtest experience, i'm very 'hao lian'.. muahahaa. 6 years under my belt.. who can compare? Actually not a thing to be proud of though.. haha.. By the way, i saw a lot of young people there who also got arthritis at a young age.. and what is so shocking was, they are all very pretty!.. hahaa.. at least some life in a place that was usually full of old people and erm.. .. .erm . . nurses. Well, i grateful to them.. haha.. Actually what shocked me was that they seems proud to get that arthritis.. hmm.. one even said 'so and so will be so shocked to hear that i got arthritis.. ' erm.. ya.. shocked at how a patient could be sooo happy.. = =
2.30am now.. couldn't finish studying marketing.. so decided to skip classes tomorrow. Yeah! But will be in school still.. maybe for FI.. maybe not.. but will be there for Talentime.. coz i've promised.. seems bias .. but no. Its an alternative for me. And i need to have some other things to occupy me.. Hold on to it while it can. And i can continue to be very happy.. especially for this xmas.. a season to be folly.. haha..
All the best to all my friends taking test tomorrow.
From paragraphs 1 and 2
Q1. What did GQoo want for xmas? (2 marks)
Q2.Why did the blogger not worried about other things? (3 marks)
From paragraph 3
Q3. What was the outcome of the traffic jam? (1 mark)
Q4. What are the alternative(s) suggested to evade the jam? (2 marks)
Q5. How did some people cope with the jam? (3 marks)
From paragraph 4
Q.6 Who is Jade Eagle? (4 marks)
Q.7 What is the most prominent feature of Jade Eagle? (2 marks)
From paragraph 6
Q.8 What was the new feature that the blogger saw in this hospital? (1 mark)
From paragraph 7 and 8
Q.9 What was the actual real reason for skipping lectures? (4 marks)
Q.10 What was the paper that was supposed to be tested? (1 mark)
From all:
Write down the meaning(s) of the word/pharse as they are used in this entry. (5 marks)
LBO
antenna
someone
'attacked'
Shadows
Summary:
Write a summary of not more than 120 words on what the traffic jam actually means.
(20 marks)
------------------------------------------END----------------------------------------
Not my two front teeth of coz.. i still had them. Not for the removal of my braces of coz.. they were gone a few months ago. Not for my studies.. yet. Still a few more months till exams.. Not for money.. yet.. My manager just asked me to get ready to work again..plus i got extra 'income'.. Not for band or whatever.. i don't really care now.. and actually i just want to not know.
Feels like getting stuck in a traffic jam on a rainy day.. knew the outcome would be late and yet panic and woes are common... It's been that.. and anger soon sets in. At the one driver, other road users and every other passangers.. not once did the fingers point on oneself. And if one could set off early, even if there was, one could easily ride over. And the best part is.. for all that jam, one can't even see what was happening.. how long was the jam and so on.. the great unknown was what strikes fear. Handicapped.. not being able to turn back.. and for some, the chose to stay on even there was an exit.. not quite the correct one.. but it was at least definate. More fuel wasted, but at least it'll get somewhere for the moment.. Not like those that are stuck and still PRETEND they are driving..arrr.. So much for traffic jams.. hahaa..
If i continued more, i guess people will complain. Comprehension they said.. hahaa.. and i agree. The Jade Eagle that 'pretend' not to be in LBO on monday once told me that.. and i think she's the only one. But i always envy her.. maybe all i want for xmas is a shorter antenna.
I really really am drained these days.. trying to be someone. Just that someone that i used to be.
Went TTSH (Mr Tan Hospital) for my check-ups on Arthritis.. as usual.. but my doctor shorten the gap of next visit from one year to six months coz i've been 'attacked' again.. haiz. History likes to repeat it seems. And bad enough, i had to do blood test today - on a syringe! Shadows .. haha.. coz my first bloodtest was done by a doctor in A&E on a syringe.. and as you all know, they are quite 'in a hurry' to save lifes.. haha.. so it was very painful. Other factors include a 'grumpy' nurse.. haa.. Well, i can understand why.. having to deal with blood and urine samples ain't a fun job.. But due to my overwhelming bloodtest experience, i'm very 'hao lian'.. muahahaa. 6 years under my belt.. who can compare? Actually not a thing to be proud of though.. haha.. By the way, i saw a lot of young people there who also got arthritis at a young age.. and what is so shocking was, they are all very pretty!.. hahaa.. at least some life in a place that was usually full of old people and erm.. .. .erm . . nurses. Well, i grateful to them.. haha.. Actually what shocked me was that they seems proud to get that arthritis.. hmm.. one even said 'so and so will be so shocked to hear that i got arthritis.. ' erm.. ya.. shocked at how a patient could be sooo happy.. = =
2.30am now.. couldn't finish studying marketing.. so decided to skip classes tomorrow. Yeah! But will be in school still.. maybe for FI.. maybe not.. but will be there for Talentime.. coz i've promised.. seems bias .. but no. Its an alternative for me. And i need to have some other things to occupy me.. Hold on to it while it can. And i can continue to be very happy.. especially for this xmas.. a season to be folly.. haha..
All the best to all my friends taking test tomorrow.
From paragraphs 1 and 2
Q1. What did GQoo want for xmas? (2 marks)
Q2.Why did the blogger not worried about other things? (3 marks)
From paragraph 3
Q3. What was the outcome of the traffic jam? (1 mark)
Q4. What are the alternative(s) suggested to evade the jam? (2 marks)
Q5. How did some people cope with the jam? (3 marks)
From paragraph 4
Q.6 Who is Jade Eagle? (4 marks)
Q.7 What is the most prominent feature of Jade Eagle? (2 marks)
From paragraph 6
Q.8 What was the new feature that the blogger saw in this hospital? (1 mark)
From paragraph 7 and 8
Q.9 What was the actual real reason for skipping lectures? (4 marks)
Q.10 What was the paper that was supposed to be tested? (1 mark)
From all:
Write down the meaning(s) of the word/pharse as they are used in this entry. (5 marks)
LBO
antenna
someone
'attacked'
Shadows
Summary:
Write a summary of not more than 120 words on what the traffic jam actually means.
(20 marks)
------------------------------------------END----------------------------------------
Friday, October 01, 2004
Full of Emptiness
Attended lecture alone today coz skipped Thursday's lecture due to some reasons.. Maybe i think too much .. haha.. coz i seems to have a lot of questions regarding the things taught.. yet didn't want to raise it to avoid being "detected" by the lecturer.. haha. Anyway, i think my questions were rather stupid and irrelevant to the context. Kept bugging those around me.. i wanted to know.. Curious what.. Stayed in school to have lunch with my primary school friend after lessons.. But chose the wrong place to eat.. Coz we were studying at the same place after lunch and it was outside the Econs LT.. And i forgot... That someone was in there.. So break came and i saw her. Think she saw me too. But strangely, i wanted to avoid.. Anyway, she didn't approach me.. and i stayed put. So it was really over... It doesn't matter, wasn't meant to be anyway. But in the beginning, that feeling was so real.. Things started at the wrong end i should say.. Felt that it was my fault.. to mislead her. But things were happening around me as well.. Felt so restricted.. couldn't type all i wanted to.. Maybe should switch back to writing my journal.
Had been three days since my sis moved out, and it had been quiet at home.. Her room was empty, only to be filled by things in my room that i long wanted to get rid of. Think she will come back only occasionally.. but i promised to keep the room tidy ^^ But she moved the piano away from my room~ Nothing to practice on..
Nothing had been smooth these days.. the beginning of the ride down on the roller-coaster-again. Had another flare up of my old condition, arthritis. Just like a visit from an old friend.. haha..i don't mind the visit, but it better don't stay.. Coz of the condition, it had been downhill since. Seldom had the occasion to be joyous..From 1999 and lasted till mid 2004. Though things changed since mid 2004. Knew it won't last long, but was able to cherish it. Only through sadness that we will know what joy is..
Had been three days since my sis moved out, and it had been quiet at home.. Her room was empty, only to be filled by things in my room that i long wanted to get rid of. Think she will come back only occasionally.. but i promised to keep the room tidy ^^ But she moved the piano away from my room~ Nothing to practice on..
Nothing had been smooth these days.. the beginning of the ride down on the roller-coaster-again. Had another flare up of my old condition, arthritis. Just like a visit from an old friend.. haha..i don't mind the visit, but it better don't stay.. Coz of the condition, it had been downhill since. Seldom had the occasion to be joyous..From 1999 and lasted till mid 2004. Though things changed since mid 2004. Knew it won't last long, but was able to cherish it. Only through sadness that we will know what joy is..
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