11.

At the chocolate factory the other day, saw someone stun a recovered item. It was left in one of the racks, just below our work station. While almost everyone was busy trying to help him fix his order, he pilfer the item and put it in his pocket within 2 moves. 我看在眼里，记在心里. Gek sim lor.. coz it will hurt the CRM and future biz if i expose him on the spot.. and since it was a recovered item, there is no actual lost. But then again, it is very rude to just take without asking, and still behave in a 鬼鬼祟祟 manner.. plus, it was an insult to totally discount my presence.. think i blind meh? But then the village chief told me not to worry.. coz the villain thought he had picked something today, and he will come more often to see if he can pick more or not. Which mean more opportunity to earn from him.

A bit like "infernal affairs" in the factory these days.. haha.. coz i'm spying for a lot of people. “我想做好人” also leh.. now working "undercover" as a mechanic, with the identity of being in an internship program from some technical school.. and slowly, i don't even remembered what the last 4 years was all about.

TGIF, and i went st james... my cousin warned me.. but i still insist. Working at the chocolate factory is super tiring coz of the physical aspect needed to get things done. Just the other day, one piece of 6 ft (72 inches) in diameter chocolate came rolling in.. and it took the 3 of us just to roll it. And then the rest is carrying stuffs in, service it, and then load back. Now my toenail also turned purple le lor.. most likely from the extended stress on the feet. Really leh.. it isn't the hours spent sleeping.. it's how much energy used in a day. Over utilised liao, sleep 24 hours also won't be enough.


Mountains of it to process on a saturday..


This "thing" is even bigger than a pallet lor..

So at st james, a lady sharing our table told me that she work until 3 am.. lol.. really leh.. if give me aircon and paper work, let me work until 6am i also ok. Different is different lor.. nothing to compare. Wondered was it that i was too tired.. i really fell asleep at the table.. haha.. machiam my bday like that. Bday girl never doh i already doh le.

I had to leave early, so by 2am, i was on my way home.. slept on the way back until the cab driver got to wake me up.. wahahaha.. if not, i think he can go tour round and round until i wake up.

Woke up at 6 plus to get ready for work.. and then on a saturday, the chocolate factory was unusually busy.. and i thought i could at least rest a bit while working. Got my EFO just so that i could get ready for the performance at tbsc later in the evening.

2 pieces to play at tbsc.. so i took 166 to harbor front... 166 took so long to reach.. and i intentionally chose this so that i can at least sleep a bit on the way.. lol... if not, i think i can fall asleep while waiting for the performance to start. As usual, we are indeed part of the meeting. Don't know whether what said was touching, or that the aircon was too cold.. but i had goose bumps lor. Then it was our turn to perform.. and as usual, was at the corner near the wall. Then after which, they applauded so loudly.. wah leh.. given that kind of presentation... a bit erm.. don't know what to say. But i think they meant well.. and really, i tried my best liao.

Was almost home at around 10pm.. and so went to da bao bcm. Had to wait 20 minutes or so coz their biz was so good. Similarly, they had customers looking at them while they prepare the food.. and some of them also niam a lot. Sometimes they also pek chek lor.. got too many people also sian, no people also sian.. this then is biz.

So "happening" nowadays lor... then sunday still got band pract.. but i guess i won't be going.. just for this week, i really need to recharge le. Really wonder if this is the "life" that people are talking about. And i thought that living is doing things that one desires.. even if it is doing nothing.

Late Night Rain

No snow this coming xmas, but quite a lot of rain.

Was at zion today to celebrate the bday of my then schoolmates. My apologies to jade eagle for making a merlion. Certainly bad karma.. coz i stepped on the merlion-ed stuff... lol.. and so my shoes need some washing asap.

In any case, my best wishes to all the November babies of the then warlords.

船到桥头

Nobody in the right mind would want a recession.. but when it happened, there's really nothing much an individual can do. Sadly (perhaps thankfully), i was a year late in graduating. By now, the landscape have changed so much that it is no longer easy to find the 'right' job. Nothing like this before.. not 911, not even sars.. and certainly not the 97 crisis can par. So what is it? 1929 in 2009?

As a retail investor, of coz i don't feel happy that my investments are gone like that. Yet on the macro scale, it isn't my wish to see the FIs suffer just becoz of this. Just really too bad that things had to turn out to be as such. Of coz there are certain individuals who really have to take a lot more responsibility then the general public. As such, the free market theory can no longer function under the influence of behavioral finance.

Why do 10,000 investor have to make a lot more s/h suffer? Actually, both parties are the victims - victims of this financial crisis. For who is really responsible, perhaps there is no answer. Finger pointing to history, might as well blame the ones who discover the new world.

Anyway, after the blood-letting of friday (of which IMO is over-reaction in the SR), it just proved that this is no ordinary crisis. Already on the way to 1600 pts and below, 50% of the index wiped out just a year after the bubble.

The usual crowd seems to be hibernating somewhere, even on a saturday. Something is not very right somehow.

Was at boiler today for a belated bday celebration of some sort. Of coz was very delighted in seeing my schoolmates, especially the OG of long ago. Really, i never regret joining the orientation camp 4 years ago, and i wondered whether is it possible to forge such ties in the jobbing world. Too much complications and competition, it won't be easy.

Finally having some hint on my path.. and perhaps might end up in the chocolate factory after all as a replacement. The greater future is too far to foresee, and it is my wish to be of some help after a quarter of a century. It was never the pay, for i owed too much. So long as the village (and the chocolate factory) is safe and sound, i will be very glad.

Will be very busy for the coming month due to some personal matter to attend to (i'm not getting married by the way...lol), and if i fail to attend to any bday celebrations, i will sms the bday wishes.. so no worries. Will only be free around december. And then the finale for this whole load is at NSC on 7th jan (perhaps later due to one more schedule and the outcome) the following year. Hopefully not something in the LR. In some way, it is not something to not worry about, yet it isn't something worth being sleepless over. I'm sure that 船到桥头自然直.

Doh liao loh~

Just like the stock market today, MOS (sg) doh-ed today.

I guess it must have made no difference. Most crubs here are short-lived, with the exception of a few which are still around. The then MOS was so high-profiled, with different rooms offering different genre. For the usual crubs, the genre is determined by the day of the week. Then it was starting to get rather werid. Anyway, it isn't as fun as it was supposed to be.

Then the market doh-ed today, creating a new low of 2.1k+. It was almost on its way to 4k just last july. A zero sum game, the transfer of wealth must be great. Most likely, the rich got richer, the poor got poorer. As usual. But the stock market is supposed to be 'risky', to some extent, like a online casino with a in-house loanshark. You can always 'contra' even if you don't have the cash needed, and some time before the ban of naked shorting, opportunity to short shares even if you don't own the shares. Yes, very risky indeed. Even more risky is the trading in warrants (they got expiry date). I once saw a percentage gain/loss of 300% (in a day, and you can gain/lose the same % in that period of time).

Bonds are perceived as a lower risked investment (in at least of investment grade bonds) of coz offered lower rate of return of about 3-5%p.a.. and most likely, the bond is contracted to about 5 years. However however however.. the lehman bros that doh-ed made it all so much different. At least with the stock market (and also the sg insurance co.that attracted people to go there drink coffee), you still can choose to preemp by running first with the money. Lehman lei? No chance. You think people so free to check out on every entities linked to the product meh? If so, i might as well lend the money to the borrower directly and bypass the the FIs. FIs do delegate monitoring? pi ar~ Simi is value add? Value add is after people doh liao then call you say your money all gone?

But given the status of the bros when get involved in these bonds, sales staff will most likely to say/think, "will doh one meh?". Perhaps those willing to invest thought so too. Maybe investor didn't bothered to find out that if one doh, the bond is considered as default. Maybe they didn't even know got such thing.. coz what they see is how much interest income it offered in the next 5-7 years. And with some of the very strong local bank and one of the largest US commercial bank on the list, who cannot be assured? Can you blame the investors? No. Coz they don't really know what thing triggered what, and how will lehman be so involved and affected by the sub-prime toxic. And can you blame the sales for pushing sales? No either. Because nobody can forsee. And if they don't push sales, they won't get the pah pah bonus and all can go eat grass le. Perhaps you can only say they don't know how to sell through emphasizing on the downside enough. But who would sell like that?

I sell bedlinen also never really go tell the whole word that it is made in somewhere else, different from where is company is.. that is unless customers ask. If i go around telling people 'where it is made' instead of 'where it is from' (they are really different) i can go eat grass also le. But made in where is a commonsense question... but financial products are complex. Not commonsense. And it was made even more complicated with the multitude of FIs getting in the picture like forex and i/r swaps, underwriting, guaranteeing and all those fee services. If one link is broken, the product fails.. Cost nobody will want to tah the rubbish for free. Anyway, the money lost isn't theirs.. so the most they can do is say, "sorry".

I didn't say they sell financial products without telling the truth or misleading investors (if they do, most likely people will complain to the central bank le).. i'm just saying that some of them don't emphasize the risk enough. EMPHASIZE on the EMPHASIZE. By enough, maybe keep emphasizing on the entities and their role in the product.. and what will happen to the contract if there is any disruptions to the functions of each of them. No need to explain what is 5% pa. This is confirm commonsense (and most likely they will bold it in the pamphlets). Unless it is written return of 25% in five years, and principal amount not guaranteed. Then they need to emphasize the fine print le.

Maybe coz the sales staff (or 'relationship manager' as they like to call themselves and investors just as the rest of the depositors like to call themselves) didn't go into details that's why so many investors are unhappy. Unhappy that they want to go honglim park this saturday to protest. But.. protest against what? Against the FIs for saying the return is 5%pa, principal is not guaranteed, the risk that you can lose everything should anything under the 'defult section' of the prospectus occurs to any one of the entities? It sounds direct enough. But how many of investors know lehman well enough at that point in time to question the product? I guess that even some of the staff don't even know. At least for the pillowcase, the "made in *****" can be found inside the pillowcase.. and there is even a full refund policy within 30 days. So if anyone is so unhappy seeing the "made in" tag, they can always return the goods. For a full refund somemore. Where to find this feature in financial products? Early bird terminations means they will return less than what you put in.

It won't be a suprise to see how irritated the investors are at honglim park this weekend... coz some of them put their life savings (i've heard a case of one investor putting sgd200k) into these products. It's like suddenly losing your only house overnight. Remember they say don't put all your eggs in one basket? Diversification only works when disaster strikes. And in this case, one of the worse financial disaster of the century.

With that, i think the "equity premium puzzle" (that is why people still go for bonds even though the returns on equity is much higher after risk adjustment) should change to "bond default puzzle" (that is why people want to go for bonds given that you can lose everything overnight even though the risk is so much lower).

Well.. whatever works for those investors this coming sat.. hopefully they will feel better after that. If not, the corner can also go eat grass le.

The Usual

The Usual.

@ St James

And as usual, the SOP for crubbbing (i need to get my hair dry.. and the hair dryer will wake the whole village up).

And as usual, pakki greeted me with his "sai-nai-ness".. awww.. haha.. sometimes i wondered, will another dog behave the same way as him? No matter what happened, he always cheered me up with his strange attics. Of coz, i'm super glad that sis brought him home.

Now he knew more and more, and it was quite delighting to watch him do all those tricks.. and he knew much more. No wondered some people are willing to sell their house to clone a dog. It was just an extraordinary experience.

Back to crubbing.

Been quite some time since i last crubbed... it was like since june.. and now it's already mid August. It was a while back when there were 3x crubbing per month.. now all's been busy with work or other committments.. perhaps i too, will turn out to be such one day. This time was, 1x hennessy and 1x martell.. and my reward of the day, 2x glass ball bearings.. ahaha.. they are so nice to keep.. and it's a waste to not ask the bar tender to extract them. All in all, i now have 4x of them.. 2 which i got from my 23rd bday. perhaps someday, i might collect 1 bottle of them.. but maybe i rather not. It was afterall, shared by 5-6 of us only.

Was at powerhouse 1st due to the lack of space at boiler, and then we moved on to boiler to be treated with jay's "安静" from the live band there.. quite nice actually.. anyways better than those wannabes.

Moved to dragonfly when the lights were out at 4, and at dragonfly, i heard them sang the "hai kuo tian kong" by beyond in canto.. it was so super nice lor. And then the theme song of "200 pounds beauty" - aww. Brain was still in working condition nevertheless. Sometimes, the past just came, especially when the cab past by certain areas. I've already put them behind, but, sometimes i wondered what would have been if not.

Anyways, i'm happy.. especially so when i got my bcm in front of me. Later during lunch time, i got to wake up and join in the chocolate factory's "hungry ah wu's festival" buffet lunch. I'm sure it beats the international buffet somehow.. and i'm so so glad for it. Hopefully i got no hangover..

Bcm didn't taste as good UI, and i got the feeling of puking everything out... but i guess not.. i don't have the "L plate" on my forehead.. which reminds me.. not to go crubbing on my bday.. lol..

Congrats to the sg team on their 1st medal since a nong nong time.. no matter what they get, it's already a very good achievement le.. jiayou team sg! (though singaporean cannot praise one..).

"Their Graduation"

Finally, got to see what st james was like. As usual, the dragonfly was packed, and in the end, we stayed at powerhouse. A bit like MOS with all the different themes and rooms to enter, but with a bigger space lor. And hor.. the crowd got a lot of uncles lo.. hahaa.. made me laugh and laugh.. coz they dance funny lor. (ok.. they are always funny when they dance.. imagine my dad still crubs at this age? LOL! young ar?)

The difference was, we opened bottle.. lol.. don't know whether has it got anything to do with the level of income or not, but it was the most 'economical' way. Opened not one, but two bottles of Hennessy.. lol.. in the end, the seven of us finished 1.5 bottles (only).. blame it on the tenders lor.. they took about 1 hour to get the bottles on the table.. so we couldn't finish it.. haha.

Pace was too fast to make up for lost time, but level remained the same.. and i disclosed the hidden module that i had for this year during supper.. lol.. maybe the supper duck rice too nice le.. hahaa.. then i got too happy.. zzz. Even a nice bowl of ba chor mee (bcm) can do the trick.. or a warm glass of cereal also can. I'm easily contented (and just as easily angered).

On the way off st james, there was road block.. lol.. luckily we got 'replacement driver' LOL.. who says manual licence useless de? If drive auto, go drive daytona lor.. hahahaa.. kidding.

It was a joyous occasion nonthelesss, for my peers graduated this year ^^. They had a booklet that published all the names of the students that graduated this year, with their degree classification.. wah~ LOL.. i want my 2nd lower! Don't ask me aim for upper.. coz it's already impossible based on my previous sem results. (ok la.. maybe the total aggregate still got chance.. but i didn't go find out.. maybe also beyond my means) And come next year, it'll be my turn to graduate le. Anyone free to attend my convo? Just take leave can le.. haha.. maybe i'll give a treat.. (ya.. treat with my sch's buffet).

Was around 5am when we finished our supper, and then i went mac to wait for daybreak.. lol.. save money leh.. hahahaa.. $2.15 icemilo compared to the $5-6 (with midnight charge) cab fare. LOL. 1st bus on saturday was 6.30am.. zzz.. so late. Saturday no need to work hor? Walked all the way till thomson road there to take the 'earlier' smrt buses.. lol.. might as well walk all the way home lor.

Reached home at 7am, and pakki was running around as usual. After bathe i fell asleep with my hair still wet, and my contact lenses still inside. Woked up and still didn't notice..ahahaha.. Acuvue contact lense nice leh.. wear for so long also won't get irritated de... and i thought how come my eyesight suddenly become so good.. lol.

After 3 months..

After 3 months of non-crubbing, was at zouk again.

Seems kind of 'out'.. coz the crowd was rather young lor.. all the xiao meimei and xiao didi.. Kids leh..... zzz. Other than that, crubbing seems usual to me. The only difference was that we had our Polaroid pics taken. Six of us, and we requested for 6 pics.. hahahaa.. in the end, we all had 1 pic each. So fun lor. Hahaa..


The then "Warlords" OG.

1 for 1 was from 9pm -12am, and we ordered long island, midori 7-up and vodka 7-up. All in all, 5 jugs, plus the additional 1 jug of long island. Seems kind of immune to the long island, or that the content was diluted. Coz after finishing all in 1.5 hours or so, everyting seems alright.. think i'm immuned already.


The 1st 5 jugs.

Was kind of bored, coz the songs we were looking for didn't came out by 3am.. Was waiting for "love in the 1st degree" and it didn't come out lor.. lol.. was tired by then.. haha.. already 25 this year.. and need much more sleep le.


In case you all are wondering how it looks like inside.. it looks something like this.. lol.. just that it is actually much brighter. The hp camera still cmi after all even with the 2 mega pix. LOL.. all the night vision pics looks green lor.. zzzz.

Left at 3am, and the crowd of taxis at zion road was !. Hahaha.. no need to worry that there isn't any cab lor..



Having revision tomorrow, and it's 4am now.. i doubt i'd be able to wake up that early to attend lesson.. but in any case, i'll try lor..

Pre-PH Crubbing

Was backed from the pre-holiday zouk. Was super crowded lor.. didn't know why.. economy so good these days ar?

Queue was so long that even when i left at around 2am, the queue was still there.. lol.. open until 4 am ar? Didn't drink much, coz i had reflux again (sigh)... and another reason was, it wasn't my bday today.. it was yy's de.

Crowded until cannot move around.. very xin ku.. i don't like crowd too much leh.. like no place to move.. very sian 1 lor.. especially so was the xmas crowd at orchard.. scary leh. Nowadays economy very good liao i think. (actually i think not la.. but pay is increasing, what more can i say?)

Today was long time no see de long island tea again.. still didn't quite like the smell, and as always, the potent one. Didn't have my dinner coz i slept through my lunch.. haha.. and when i woke up, it was already 4pm. Had a super late lunch.. and was out by 8pm for the queue. Scary lor.. pre-holiday so crowded.. it didn't matter much to me whether it was PH or not.. everyday except fridays and saturdays seems like a PH to me.. haha.

Anyway, something happened there.. someone tired to eat my beancurd.. or was it my bones... yalar.. i bhb... haha just kidding. I actually asked my friends to "jiu wo".. not becoz the gal was clinging onto me, not becoz she was trying to lean on me.. (i don't really know what she wants..).. but i scared she want to puke on me.. haha.. maybe my face so horrible.. see liao want to puke. "Over-reacted" as usual.. wahahaha.. i don't like strangers to cling on me sia. Less say if they want to puke on me.

Another thing happened at the podium. I think one guy proposed to his fiancee.. wow.. so ro lor.. and then the whole crowd cheered and clapped. LOL.. and one of my alumni senior proposed during one of the band concert.. also quite ro la.. haha.. next time i should try something innovative.. maybe on the moon or something like that.. hahaa.. or maybe proposed during one of the AGM.. lol.. as if.

Went off "early" coz the music really cmi.. not much mambo leh.. a lot of xmas song though.. lol.. i don't feel xmas lor.. i only feel the very packed crowd.. bo xmas leh.. a bit sian.

And then while moving out, saw the bouncer escorting some people out.. i think is some incident of some sort.. and then after that, heard that the police came for check.. wah.. i crub for so long also never see before such scene.. only saw it on tv lor..

Didn't have the holiday mood, coz i think i'm on permanant holiday.. not much difference to me leh.. and then the whole world all busy work and such.. hahaa.. starting to feel guilty le.

And when cost of living increases, the bcm also increase 50 cents liao le.. in return, they give 1 prawn.. prawn de ba chor mee? Maybe should switch to eating ba chor teh.. better.. bo prawn de.

Anyway, looking forward to 2008 more.. 11 more days and i shall conclude 2007. Didn't quite like xmas le.. think of the crowd at orchard already sian 1/2. Also don't know what xmas gift to give people other than chocolates and such.. these items tio banned le.. lol.. how lei? $10 can buy what? haha.. erm.. buy $10 EPB voucher? LOL. Even A-cash card cost $10.70 le lor.. If i happen to give something weird, it must be that i'm trying too hard to stay away from chocolates le.

As Usual

Friday 11/30:
School on friday was as usually as usual. And as usual, i dislike IM during tutorial. Wanted to skip lecture but my friend was telling me not to.. haha.. i guess i'm the bad influence. So attended the whole tutorial.. maybe only 1% of what was presented during the tutorial got in.. but i guess it beats sleeping at home.

Saturday 12/1:
December le.. and i'm in a festive mood. LOL.. looking forward to christmas, and especially so the christmas feast. I'm too old for presents le.. and if there is any present i want, i think it's too expensive lo.. and as usual, christmas may be as usual again.

And not as usual, i tried out service 199 to scc.. lol.. the frequency was not as high as 242, but plenty of space.. well, at least if i need to carry my baobei horn there, there is an option. Sis should be selling her vios away le.. means no more car for me to drive.. haha.. sad lo.. maybe just take cab all the way ba.

Orchestra practice was not as usual coz there came some guest players. Was surprised at how many of them there are.. especially when the whole strings section combined. Well.. it starts to look more and more like an orchestra.. just that our sitting arrangement looks weird.

It was great sounding, and lots of parts i didn't hear before. Didn't quite adapt to new conductors as usual, and i didn't like it when they get very expressive.. can't tell the points lor.. haha.. totally dislike when i got to listen to the cellos.. I can't feel the tempo lor.. too expressive le i guess.. haha.. blame it on my own incompetence. And then another one of my weak point.. syncopation. Sigh.. how lei?

Anyway, played nutcracker, and the melody repeats and repeats and repeats.. lol.. the 3/4 waltz tempo got embedded on my brain even when i went double o.. haha.. mambo in 3/4 timing. LOL..

Went off from boonlay SCC to MS and reached there in an hour. OO was more crowded than usual, guess because ntu had just finshed their exams.. lol.. no wonder the crowd looks different too. Then saw 1 ah zek dancing since i went in at around 11pm.. he dance for quite long and was climbing up and down the metal frames at the sound system there.. lol.. but then hor, i don't want to see ah zek dance lor.. haha..

Think too many times le.. until 1 for 1 also don't can 1 for 1 what.. haha.. long island they ban it.. then tequila also ban.. haha.. so in the end, illusion again.. but illusion also getting boring liao.

Was feeling quite sleepy coz of maple.. haha.. every morning got to wake up at 6am to maple.. whahaha.. and so by 2am, was already wanting to sleep le.. just that i'm too hungry to fall asleep. Reached home around 3am plus and i was without food for more than 11 hours le.. kept thinking of the ba chor mee.. hahaa.. Too bad i'm quite poor these days, so in the end can only afford to eat the 80 cents instant noodles. 10 minutes after the meal, i fell asleep. The usually insomnic me isn't so.

Sunday 12/2:
Woke up.. and that pakki has eaten my things... argh.. was home the day before and so left my things on the sofa.. he woke up at 6am and nobody to play with, so he took my things... zzz.. was really very angry lor.. but then, it didn't last long. My fault anyway.. so actually i told pakki i didn't want to talk to him.. haha.. but end up telling him again and again that i didn't want to talk to him.

As usual after every crubbing is ba tor tia de... don't know why.. system spoilt liao perhaps.. haha..

Was off to clementi forc the 3rd time in the week on 52 to meet up with some of my OG people. Oh well.. since the last chwee kuey, i said i didn't want to organise anymore outing le.. haha.. it isn't easy to coordinate 16 people ba.. I didn't say i want to make it an og outing.. haha.. just wanted to meet up with them to see how they are getting on in school lo.

9 turned up including the 2 ogls.. and got 2 put my aeroplane.. hahaa.. at least this time bo chwee kuey to eat lo.. haha.. went clementi botak jones eat.. i think hor, if christmas go botak eat i also happy liao lo.. was really surprised leh.. really surprised lor.. but happy at the same time.

After dinner went pooling.. but i think i very lousy la.. whahahaa.. sometimes i really want to do too many things at the same time le.. until everything also lousy. LOL.. till now, i don't know my forte lor.. horn playing isn't one of them.. yes i can play, but not as well as those good players.. play game also level not as high.. study also not as good... in other words, maybe jack of all trades.. but really master of none.

December already.. time to get ready to start studying.. haha.. year 1 i started in april, year 2 i started in march, and year 3 i started in january i think... this time must start at december lo.. only 2 lowers to go.. i think i should be able to.

I am, What I am.

Full was i, and happy i was.

I said it moves in tandem, and it did.

Band today, and it was my latest... i actually was so tired that i overtook the afternoon nap.. haha. It was, partly becoz of friday's lecture. FR was ok, though lecturer chute power.. whaha.. coz we showed that we didn't really revised. However, the killer came from IM.. i now know why i was so tired every friday.. whaha.. not becoz of 2 lectures back to back.. but really, it was becoz me trying to understand what my IM lecturer is trying to teach.. lol.. sad to say, i did burn a lot of brain cells just to try to understand.

Other than that, i was being indulgent - in everything else. Wilful i was, yet to a lesser degree.. for i would most likely to forgo band practice. Yet.. i was glad i didn't give up. Was so much delighted. Was so happy... lol.. i also didn't know why.. perhaps i was being what i was.. i recognised myself, and i be myself. Of coz after 24 years, i already knew much of me.. lol.. and in the aspect of band, i know nerve was never a forte. LOL.. as usual, think too much and then was trying too hard to fine tune.. haha.. that was me. Perhaps, i was reminded of how ignorant i was in my sec school days.. haha.. especially when they played "dance of yao".. awww... i was reminded of so much.

Had an haircut, DIY-ed.. whahahaa.. pro hor? LOL.. and no, i wasn't being called for reservice.. and yes, i've gained weight.. that was what i was trying for the past 2 weeks.

Oh ya.. today saw so many friends..lol.. at Boonlay, saw miss xx wor.. whahahaa... so qiao right? Then saw the rest from the band.. in the train, saw bernard also.. wah.. haha... qiao right?

Today was one of my friend's bday.. lol.. nov is always "dangerous".. whaha.. so many of them having bday wor.. lol.. so as usual, was at dbl wor.. and as usual, tah lor.. strange was, after so long, it hasn't dropped. Yet today, met someone really very irritating.. ya.. some people are just soooooooooo "imm zim".. i really don't understand leh... dopod so what? and was so irritated when people tried to say, "mine is dopod leh.. what phone you use?" zzz.. eh.. got money to buy, no money to repair ar? LOL.. mei you du liang. Anyway, i was reminded of one shewish woman.. whahaa.. sometimes, they like to eat 99 lor.. siao.. and when it was them who is at fault.. zzz.. siao. I just don't understand lor. Let and let be.. so poor then don't take dopod la! Nokia not nice meh? Ericsson cmi meh? Hao lian shem me? $1300 very big hor? Can just buy some people's character. LOL.. ok la.. $1300 still a lot.. lol.. that bugger that buang my car wanted to go court over $100.. whahahaaaa... damn stupid.. and sometimes, i wondered, what is that for. With reference to a similar case reported on the ST a month ago, another bugger went court over a sum of few hundered dollars.. in the end, it cost 12k for legal fees.... what are they thinking? Right or not, it doesn't have to go to that extend lor. I admit, i will give in.. for i would not want to downgrade myself to their level.. i would never. I am what i am. I would rather be stupid than to be "imm zim". No wonder.. hah.. no wonder there is no equality. There are people out there, wanting equality and also comparitive advantage.. ha.. i really have nothing to say.. just that, don't come out and harm me can le. Leave me alone hor..

I am being bias.. most are. Hah.. so much that if you charge them 10 cents more, they will go court case with you.. need to xiang bu kai meh? This world so "evil" ar? So much that no one can make mistake? Sigh.. sadly, there are such.. and as i've said, if so, then don't hao lian la. Ha.. i've be using my hp for more than 2 years, and i now carry a less than $50 fm tuner instead of an ipod... lol.. i am poor leh, so i carry lousy things. It was my mistake to drive my sis's car.. whahaha.. and hor, that bugger that was that one who crashed into my car, was actaully driving an SUV.. hah.. don't have such a big head hor, then don't wear such a big hat la.. if driving a big car caused you not to see your side mirrors, then for heaven's sake!, ride a bike la... you know, er ren xian gao zhuang one lor.. and if you cannot hold you dopod or whatever pod in your had properly, for god sake, put in your pocket la!.. don't .. really don't come out and harm people lor.. LOL.

Zzz.. so much happy i was initially.. althought the recent matter doesn't concern me, i just felt it was unreasonable lor.. of coz, there are much more people as such out there.. believe me.. maybe you are one of them. Anyway, anything, whatever, just don't come find me can le.. don't show how much you are really worth to me.. be it $1300 or $100.. i don't care. Afterall, life should be priceless.. just as the mastercard ad.

Anyway, i've said, i move in tandem.. with much.. hahaa.. be it good or bad, happy or sad. Strangely, i was ok leh.. hahaha.. wow.. maybe just for now, maybe for more.. i just isn't what i used to be.

Was home at 4.30am.. and went to da bao ba chor mee.. whahaa.. very hungry leh.. how to gain weight like that? 12 hours without food wor.. LOL.. so happy to have a 24 hour ba chor mee store outside.. wahaha.. i just love it! Was so full and so satisfied.. and then it was sunday again! Wah.. haha.. time just pass like that leh.. already almost 2 years lo.. and my extension for the final year is almost halfway.. wahahaha.. i'm couldn't be much happier!

On the train back, i've learnt quite a lot from my band colleagues.. even those that are younger than me.. yupz.. they had such drive.. for every moment in their life, nothing was wasted.. yet, it all depend on the wants in one's life. Nothing is unreacheable.. just how badly you want it. Of coz, i wouldn't want people to compensate me just becoz my phone was knocked off by others. All in all, i am with such little ambition that i currently isn't moving much.. but who knows? Someday, perhaps one day, perhaps never, i might just move so much.. haha.. but who knows? I a, just glad that i am what i am, for all flaws, for all praises, i am, what i am.

Of coz, i recognised this is much of the rollarcoaster ride wor.. and to be certain that i wouldn't lament more than i should, i will ride it up, and never doubt myself.. that is, for now.

What a Surprise~!

Had an early bday celebrations this year, thanks to the dear warlords. ^^

Though it was really a very mini one, i really appreciate it.. and, it was a surprise.. for once, it wasn't anticipated.. and hence was really touched and happy.. haha.. thank you all once again. =)

Then was off to MOS coz of "provision for crubbing" already set aside.. but was very undecided.. haha.. coz i was actually quite tired already after a full day of lesson. Went in the end coz perhaps i was anticipating crubbing for that outing..

Went ahead and was actually joining my friend's friend, and they are opening bottle.. so complimentary entry (or was it paid for i also not sure).. so i ended up paying nothing. Was quite paiseh lor.. haha.. but it was the least expensive crubbing i've ever went.

And the verdict was, i don't think i like going crubbing there coz the main floor crowd was much older than i was.. so was rather out. Also i didn't like the service (if any).. i mean, people really paid a lot.. and i mean really a lot IMO.. and so felt like being shorted.. not a very good impression. LOL.. and i've also learnt something.. i can't really pour mixer well.. lol.. so i excuse pouring next time.. lol.

So this afternoon's lesson, i was a bit late.. ended up had to sit at the last few rows... haha.. and i saw one of the kuulas there.. lol.. so qiao right? And in the end, we all needed binoculars to see what was written on the white board.. lol.. and the person beside me (who isn't my friend) kept asking what was written.. lol.. i said i also couldn't see.. but that person kept asking.. very fan leh. Next time i should sit at the "1st class" sector le.. hahaa.. coz i don't think the LT is suitable for using whiteboards la.. their handwritting is just not big enough.

Late noon lesson was much more boring.. full of tutorial presentations.. and wasn't really that productive lor.. so was quite tired trying to guess what the lecturer is trying to teach us really..

Was very tired today.. really very tired.. no wonder i counldn't think well.

(names are omitted to protect their identity, and also to reduce the number of complains)

Long (Island) Night

By the time i got 'everything' done, it was already 6 am.

It was, by far, the longest crubbing i ever had. Usually, OO ended at 3am, while zouk ended at 4. But mos called it at 4.30 am, or even later.. i really ain't quite awake to know the exact time.

Today, spent quite a bit.. All in all, nearly $70+ excluding transport. All on Long island w/o 1 for 1. LOL.. think we all quite dl la.. haha.. coz stand there also nothing to do.. and the staff told me, it depends on the management to give us the 1 for 1.. no wonder la.. Of coz, thanks to dom, i saved on my return trip home. ^^

Overall, i would stick to the usual place.. one with great crowd (and music that doesn't come out so quickly), or the other with affortable alcohol. Of coz, 2-3 times should be enough. I had enough. Haha.. so next up, should be shot-ing at oo le.

Of coz, today had lots of happenings.. i also don't know what to say. Just hoped that someone who picked up a phone would reply the following morning ba.. if integrity is in place. But more often than not.. it depends on the people rather than the situation. We shall see.

Oh ya.. while my friends are learning jap and french.. lol.. i think i should go and learn Thai le.. whahahaahaa.. just kidding la.

Reached home 5 plus, and mom was outside sleeping on the sofa. Pakki as usual greeted me with his 'seh' face.. whaha.. think he still not quite awake. But when he sees my mom going to the kitchen, he started barking.. lol.. i think my mom spoilt the market le. Hahaa.. Nevertheless, he is still very cute.. haha.. he kept following me lor.. lol.. why? got instant noodles smell ar?

LOL.. ate instant noodles the instant i got home. Was very hungry and wanted to maintain my weight.. what to do? LOL.. noodles was very nice.. haha.. had so much extra ingredients.. wahhaha.. super nice la. Of coz, i did the cooking myself. Haha..

Failed a few times trying to be creative in cup noodles and in the end, LSed because i didn't cook the crab stick well enough.. Whahaa... but it was a great experience though. Had be cooking crab stick these few days because i missed the times i had bbq.. wahhaa..

And so today, bbq and chalet was mentioned. LOL.. i don't care the liquor or the mj session (though i liked them as well..).. but i actually craved for bbq food. Hahaha... i like good food leh.

Heard from one of my friend that the tw trip wasn't that fun.. hmm.. i do hoped that my hk trip wouldn't end up the same way. Hhaa... of coz, the difference is that, we are on free and easy. The 1st night, we planned to whack vsop in the hotel. Second night, go central see the various crubbing place and the 3rd day, vist maccau. Oh.. did i mention that hk is celebrating its anniversary of returning to the mainland? WOW.. whahahaa... fireworks! It should be fun i hoped. Will be leaving on friday morning at 8am and returning on monday night at around 11 pm.

Of coz, i haven't been preparing my trip.. ahhaa.. i haven't got my hk dollars yet. LOL.. anyway, it's here.. no matter what, just enjoy 1st. LOL.. after that, i'll start worring about my cash inflow. Till then.

KOed by a Tiger

Knew i couldn't.. and after so long, it wouldn't changed. Still can't pit myself against tiger, or anything similiar.

Since the 1st time, it was like this, never able to overcome the potent cocktail. Different system, different reaction, and that was my Achilles' heel. Perhaps the difference was how it was handled. This time round, i had nothing more to say, i just felt tired.. tired for all these while.

So i was sleeping for most of the time, haha.. luckily i got the wall to lean on.. super tired and giddy.. i don't know.. the taste of long island is already enough to scare me off.. what's more, i got 1 whole tiger in my stomach, together with my late dinner.

And as i've expected, i leveled up.. haha.. the 5th time.. and it was beer again. Never doubt, and as usual, regretted. So for the 1st time in 3 months, and it was perhaps another 3 months before i 'forget' this horrifying exeprience. Spare me in the meantime.. i really don't find the utility in crubbing.. this was only for the sake of gathering.

Last time, saw someone dropped her skirt.. and this time, saw Cinderella.. but this cinderella lost 2 of her slippers.. ok.. not really lost, but something else happened to them.. LOL.. i think i had accumulate some bad karma for being 'accomplice'... whahaaha.. wondered how cinderella is going to get home.. lol..

Was again reminded that i wasn't young anymore, therefore there are a lot of options to be made. Sigh.. wondered why i created a path until here.. how am i going to carry on?

After puking, i'm now hungry.. sians.. today wasted another $70 or so.. hahaa.. next time i siam crubbing.. can upgrade my hamsters' home lor.. haha.. actually, i really forgot how to dance those toopid dance le.. haha.. 3 months away from crubs, i guess i really don't have the addiction liao.. coz actually, i was no longer lost. Perhaps the next time is after exams.. whahah.. ya, i'm hinting.

"Tactical Mission"

Was on a "mission" yesterday.. well, actually, only me and the other need not be tactical. So for tactical missions, i wasn't supposed to blog.. but since the cover has been blown.. i guess it does not matter anymore.. haha.

Zouk was the target point and by the time we reached, it was around 11.30pm.. the local uni just had their last paper.. so it wasn't suprise to see lots of people. But then, it was a bit too much. Thought it was xmas or what.. the queue for velvet extended till the underground carpark there.. so after a while of queuing, we decided to change location to MOS.

On comparison, it was much quieter... maybe a bit too quiet. Perhaps the place too big le? Haha.. so empty and eerie till the multi storey carpark also got the dry ice.. Well, $20 for cover, and so many rooms to enter, i guess, it might be worth it ba.

But i was wrong.. was it me or was it the place, i don't really know. Had this feeling of leaving once i stepped inside. The music was right, but the crowd and price was wrong.

And then one by one, the section got mowed down by their respective "RSM". Muahhaha.. luckily i no need to do this kind of thing.. doesn't feel good to do things behind someone's back. LOL.. cover was blown because someone smsed the location.. didn't they know that smses are subjected to RSM's check? Haha.. don't they know how to encrypt?

Very weird, the prices of the drinks seems to varied greatly, and they said it was because of the content.. -_- Siao ar.. as if i really believe? What got 40% and 42% de? Simi sai? Kind of hate place like this.. damn expensive.. and a bottle of martell cost $209 (inclusive of 2 jugs mixer)... and their 1 for 1.. they said, they don't know.. must watch the tv... = =

It the end, it was more like a chilling session. But when 1 for 1 came.. we whacked until we seh.. 3 person, 4 jugs, in 30 mins. Hahaha.. the fastest ever, and i guess i really waste money le..

And then.. the crowd at the dance floor was even weirder. A lot of auntie lor.. wahahahaa.. no wonder zion was so empty. And got auntie still nevermind.. kns lor, they keep making eye contact.. wa lao eh.. er xin. Either that, got quite a number of trans too.. wa lao eh.. if not, its ah diong..haha.. no wonder lo. No wonder our school bash can sercure that place.. and then i start to believe the "curse".. maybe it'll come true again.

Once again, i spent my time rotting at home. Cycling trip at ECP today was somehow cancelled.. lol.. weather so bad, later skid ar.

Chwee Kuey

Expected.. ok i really give up le. I don't know what to say, but i ate 14 chwee kuey at dinner today.. haha.. ate until so full lor.. think my stomach's going to explode.

But another thing exploded instead. My scale was tipped yet again.. so lousy lor.

First time i crub until i buay song 1.. which means, i'm don't think the utility is there anymore.. i'm not surprised that this was the last time i crubbed.. The coming bash? LOL.. i don't think i'd be going.. stay home eat chwee kuey better lor.

Was at OO today.. very fun for the 1st part, coz retro night, then a lot of songs came out before 1.30am.. except "can't take my eyes off you". So after that, i got nothing to look forward to. Crubbing became boring, tiring, and i'm hungry. Felt very pek chek coz very uncomfortable.. want to go home but nobody wants.. i'm not oblidge, yet walking away isn't an option. I admit, it was fun with the nice music and the toopid dance moves.. but.. not everything is nice forever de lor.. when its time to let go, it should be.

Finally understands that things should be done just nice, just like flying kite. Pull to tight, the string will break, let go too much, the kite will drop.. so, crub until too late will pek chek, but go off too early will sian.

Maybe i was wrong to let go just like that, but i couldn't stand "taunting" that was meant to be a joke. There are times when joking is inappropriate. "jian hao jiu shou" ba.. And the worst part is wasting 45 mins... things cannot be overdone.. Although certain things are hard to see, but they are easily felt. It was obvious.. and i don't like to be held responsible for things that are done on goodwill. I don't kiam anything to anyone lor. But still, having certain words out meant that i wasn't really that equipped.. but it was really better than all previous attempts to keep my temper under control.

But i think it shall no longer be of importance anymore.. coz i think i ban crubbing le. Maybe till end of exams. Really very waste time lor.. and money too.

When the show at 5.20pm finishes, i shall be staying in school for studying le.. though i still dare not venture too much.. haha.. but just a bit already very "suay" le.

Haiz.. lousy day.. very lousy.. next time i cook chwee kuay for people to eat le.

Saw no evil~

Saw no evil.. omg.. i actually didn't want to blog about it.. but then again.. omg.. i couldn't believe my eyes. Think i can excuse toto/4D for the next one month.

What happened was that, while walking out from zouk, we saw this lady here.. and then, the so called 'accessory' was falling.. omg.. in actual fact, it was her skirt that dropped. Did it dropped or did she took it off i don't really know. Thankfully, her top was long enough that it covered her barely..

Was actually shocked. I tought when someone took the side mirror of a car off though collision was quite shocking.. i guess i was wrong.

Realised that crubbing wasn't for me much more.. it was actually quite boring nowadays. Wondered why.. maybe 23 made the difference.

Altough this time round, there were more people i knew.. but then, there's still shortfall somewhere. And most disappointing of all was, the song that i yearned for didn't came out.. and so pek chek, left before 3am. So many, yet none came out.. it was definately on purpose.. argh.. i hate the DJs.

Looking for a day to "retire".. perhaps after bash. Contemplating whether to go 'zouk out' or not.. haha.... maybe yes, maybe no. Got quite tired of night life and drinking. It just don't make any difference anymore, thanks to my bday session..

Blog was migrated to the new beta, and yet discovered the difference. The only thing was, logging in was a hassle.

Been gearing for the coming exams.. though xmas was coming too. I don't know.. been so poor that i couldn't afford anything better.. but then, this isn't the time for working.

CF got a new lecturer.. and i spent most of my time trying very hard to deduce what was on the notes, coz not much was said.. when she talked about WACC, the whole class was wondering what it meant.. sigh.. please don't let me fail CF.

OG (Kuula) lunch today... but in the end, only Eu turned up..(less OGLs).. wahhaa.. nevermind.. planned for another official outing next week.. hopefully it'll turn out well.

And here, wanted to apologised to someone for not extending the 'invitation'.. =X Really very sorry~

It Was Rainning~

It was rainning yesterday. Used to like rainy days.. i liked the cool wind blowing, liked the sound of the rain pouring, and the dark clouds that hid the sun away. The only element i didn't like - lightning. Actually i'm quite scared of it.. don't know since when.

But yesterday.. it seems a bit too much.

Heavy downpour made vision blured. Being caught,, i didn't quite liked it.. the water on my skin kind of irritates me. And of coz, the slippery ground poses some hazards... the ground was muddy too..

I don't know.. is it just me or what? Had my perceptions of things been so wrong or was it that i've changed? Maybe it's still the same.. coz i've been watching the rain from the comfort of my home.. but being caught in one.. it just changes everything.

Yet it will stop.. no matter how (un)desirable it was.

But it isn't that bad.. if not, i'd have migrated to the deserts.

Was on my way home in vios when i got caught in the rain.. it was so heavy.. and really, i couldn't see.. avoided PIE coz there might be a possibility of so traffic incidents.. so was on dunearn road.. suddenly, all cars slowed down.. i think at some point in time, i was travelling 40km/h. Changing lanes was extremely difficult.. rear mirror see nothing, side mirror also see nothing.. so no choice.. see blind spot lor. Thankfully (or no thanks?), all vehicles slowed down.. and luckily for those at the bus stop too.. if not, i guess the water will just splash on them.

Reached home area.. and the rain was reduced to a drizzle.. so i chose a parking far away from the target practice of unfriendly neighbours (who aims at cars with their cigarette buds, tisssue paper - god knows what's the content.. and plastic bags..) and birds (which of coz have to shit....) But the moment i switched off the engine.. the downpour came again.. and lazy to find another spot nearer to shelter (i don't have umbrella).. i hid in the safety of vios.. but i wait and wait and wait.. then i gave up.. surrendered vios to the "range"..

Didn't know why.. but was at OO. Not many people came.. but this was 2 more than my worst. Actually i kind of dislike these places le.. was a year plus since "regular" crubbing.. and don't know how much cash went into the toilet bowl.. plus cover charge.. Ya.. drinks don't taste that good.. but some sweet tasting like misty.. lol.. actually it was more like dry ice..

Anyway.. i couldn't hold as well as i thought i would be. Yupz.. i was feeling "seh" or in english - high towards the later part.. hah... if i'm laughing for no apparent reason.. this is it. Ya.. i find crubbing has no meaning.. unless the meaning is numbing oneself. But that doesn't mean i will stop.. at least not now.. i have just one mission to complete.. hahahaa.. heard of "you shi you zhong"? lol.. yupz.. till then.. i shall reveal.

By the way.. november coming.. hmm.. a lot of birthdays hor? Haha.. sure got crubbing ba.. - -And ya.. i need to repay my "debts".. haha.. hopefully.. i'm still waiting for the job at Eski..

Still got a lot more to blog.. but i need to go for lunch le.. very hungry..

For What?

I wonder how.. i wondered why.. lol.

Very tired but couldn't get to sleep. Digestive system not good, but i eat and eat and eat. Met both my aunt, grandma and cousins for lunch after FI. They wanted to go for international buffet - at Vienna.. haha.. a place which i 1st went with the excos. So it was a re-visit.. but i didn't eat as much.. nevertheless, i need not pay as well ^^ (oh ya.. they didn't know bday was coming.. haha.. and i didn't want celebration too.. haha..) Lunch was enjoyable.. and was home waiting for dinner at marche.

Was at marche and then i thought i was late.. so they came, and then saw my colleagues and some of the graduates too.. haha.. so qiao huh? But too bad, they couldn't give us a 12 pax table. Haha.. so fun to see so many friends again.. haha.. and what's best is, we didn't agree to meet.. just happen to see each other wor.. haha. But strangely, it was strange. But then i realised, certain things are better left ignored.

But of coz, dinner was very nice too~ I had soft shell crab (but i still prefer the sauce from sakae) and also pork chop.. nice! But then don't know why.. everything i ate doesn't seems to be hot enough.. all cold cold de.. and i mean really physically cold. Still, it was better than what i had for lunch.. ^^

Then was at marina eating the same ice-cream.. haha.. still as sweet. But this time they gave a lot more.. whahaa... but too sweet le la.. a bit cannot take it.

Then met with xy (again) for OO. Friday was like very sian de wor, and i discovered, the people there are auditors.. = = Erm... how come ar? Either auditors, sales or bankers. Seldom you will hear "waiters, bartenders, promoters".. how about editors, CEOs musicians and all that.. why ar? But was very glad.. saw warlords er ge ^^ finally after so long. Well, he didn't change at all.. and i think really didn't. But glad.. so extended "invitation" for next wednesday. Hopefully ba.

Strangely, less is more and more is even more. I totally don't understand. But i guess the best is not to understand... or even spare any thought for it.

At OO, saw my "seniors" as well.. they said they are from exexexco... chloe's batch.. - - and then said they organise FOC de.. "no wonder you looked so familiar.." eh? I don't know where i saw before lor.. totally no recollection. Hahaa.. but the guess that i'm from SIM was well done.

Consumed much less.. just not to waste myself just yet. I don't know, but i'm starting to get bored le... or rather sick of this kind of life. But i don't feel that time/life is wasted.. just money is wasted only.. and lots of it = = And of coz, "without regrets".. certain things done after "expiry" seems weird.

So against what i had been forbidden.. i have began my "search" for jobs.. i want flexible hours/days, and boring job scope so that i can nua my brain away.. haha.. hopefully less than 4 days per week. So now i had a recomendation for a night job.. if possible.. hopefully.

And which means, gaming has to be halted. And then 1 wondered why.. why spent so much time.. lol.. perhaps too bored already. So now got something to do (work), hopefully something new.

Time to go back to school work.. nb.. fail before le.. so what? CMI so what? Hahaa.. like that lor.. i don't think i'm as smart.. so take longer time lor.. and in the end, i'll still ask (if i had the chance to ask) myself.. "for what"?? I also don't know. Study so much.. for what? I don't know... enjoy so much.. for what? I also don't know. Blog so much.. for what? I also don't know.. fell like doing then do lor.. But as always, the more 1 does, the more risk is assumed. So might as well don't do anything? But cannot~ because people get bored.. then chute a lot a lot a lot of pattern.. in the end kena burned then ask.. for what? Lol.. i also don't know. (with no particular reference of any event.. lol.. just for example)

But i don't know la.. personality is hard to change.. I also know.. but then.. nevermind ba.

So like that lor.. haha.. for what i also don't know... just hope that i'll get a job soon. Pok le lor.. and better to cut down on maple and start mugging.. if not a lot of "for what" in the future.

Special thanks to those who got me present.. Deeply appreciated. (you know who you are.. cannot write everything out.. *names are ommited to protect their identities* haha.. bday everybody also have.. and i don't think there is anything to be liao bu qi... afterall, it's just another day.. so.. i won't be expecting anything much la.. haha.. i just want to be happy. That's all.

And i don't know how.. haha.. anybody who feel like going crubbing next wednesday.. just go.. i won't be opening bottle.. nothing to offer.. so didn't invite people.. ^^ But just come for crubbing lor.. and somemore is friend suggest de.. haha.. i call so many people i also paiseh...

I guess.. i just have to be able to support myself.. i don't know.. i just don't want to be dependent.. and of coz, i just want to be happy.

Regrets?

4am plus.. i've been "awaken" to certain things. As from some time ago, i was still afraid.. i'm scared. Just because of the unknown.. i don't know.

And i thought, it wasn't real.. but i just don't want to.. for i fear.. what if, there isn't any tomorrow? Will there still be hope? Tomorrow is just an infinite.. yet today is always there. Why not today..? - because the assumption is that there is tomorrow.. but i don't know just how long can things last.

Certain thing just ain't measured by the duration.. but rather, the intensity of the events that happened.

I'm certainly not pessimisitic... i just don't wish to regret. Hopefully, everything turns out well from here on.

Actually, the entry is rather nonsensical.. as a result of crubbing session. Nevertheless, i still end up in zouk as a prelude to my bday "bash".. haha.. (actually i don't even know how many are aware that my bday is just 1 week away.. haha) So after tahing 3 jugs by 2 if us, it was down to opening of martell ^^ Haha.. of coz, there is a price to be paid. The record? $105 tab for the whole night.. the most i've racked up since my crubbing days.

Was rather fun to hear mambo music again.. haha.. but then again.. it seems a bit too much le.. till now, i'm still a bit seh.. haha.. but i need to "warm up" my engine again.. i've not been crubbing since school starts.. partly becoz i'm busy with school work, and also becoz i'm poor le.. haha.. so today was an exception..

But then, zouk was very very crowded today... and the age group seems different from us.. haha.. i don't know.. maybe i've "overgrown"? But don't know what happened.. while entering, saw 4 lambo going in as well.. .wah~~~~ all the ah sia all come le ah? Hahaha.. for me to drive 1 of those.. i think, i got to find a rich dad le.. haha.. kidding.

So don't know what happened also.. zouk was sooooooo crowded till we got no place to put the jugs.. = =.. somemore open bottle.. - -.... haha... well well.. too bad, i've got to pay for my share even though i got the "bday boy" immunity.. haha... sad.

Anyway.. i don't know.. my point is, to cherish whatever is presented.. yupz.. i rather not regret~ Or maybe.. should i seek for my bliss once more?