Things i forbid myself, i couldn't help. Or maybe was the wilful self again? It seems: i know no limits. And before any other things else starts.. something has to end.
Totally disappointed in myself. I thought i knew a lot.. but it seems i only know enough to harm myself.. just 4 days ago, it was so much different. Was full of myself.. even though was defeated in TS.. and got the motivation to study.. and i really did revision. But it just seems so different now.. perhaps i was expecting too much.
Left 9 more days to go.. before my 'contract' expires.. and i shall be glad.
It's been a hectic month. Worked all day.. but had built such a great rapport with my so-called colleagues.. and had been receiving lunch and dinner treats from my supervisor. I should be happy.. and i though i was.
Had been thinking.. perhaps a bit too much, on the past.. from distant to recent.. And i saw a familiar pattern.. haiz.. things just keeps repeating so long as i am who i was. Thought going to work on full throttle would somehow keep me busy, somehow make me immune, somehow much me realise something. I only realise, it doesn't perform all these tasks.
I've ran out of ways to reformat this hardisk of mine..
And then came my comp again.. haha.. i'm just very foolish. Kept insisting on my way.. even though it could ruin me. It is the same as always.. the same as always.
But then again... i will continue to find other means.. perhaps more user friendly ways. It isn't my choice.. or rather, do i have a choice in the 1st place?
Mocks coming.. i said i wanted to take.. and i only had 3 days before the commence of the the 1st paper.. maybe after all, i won't turn up at all.
Whatever.
