Missed

Don't know what seems wrong.. i've been feeling not alright for the past few weeks. Feeling weak and no appetite.. maybe it's the post cny syndrom. For the 1st time, i missed my friday FR coz i wasn't feeling well. Walked to the bus stop but decided to visit the GP instead. Sadly, my GP isn't open for business.. heard that he might be retiring.. so i went home just after 30 minutes of leaving home. I don't like the feeling of missing the FR lecture.. it leaves me rather empty. The coming friday will be the last FR lecture.. hopefully i can catch up with the rest.. if not, really must ask and ask le. Like what my lecturer said, "it will be an insult to the people doing consol out there if you can do it just by reading notes..." I already knew how difficult it is. Hopefully, i will go into this line someday. The banking sector is not really the kind of life i pursue.

Came saturday, i missed orchestra practice. The kind of same feeling of missing lecture again.. but i felt that in order not to wear my health out, i should really rest. But things were left unsettled at SCC. Instruments were to be moved to HQ, and sorry, i wasn't there to help. Thanks to all who were there to help send my instrument and files over. I'll recover soon and be back at the next practice.

The sort of feeling of missing something that could otherwise be done was quite frustrating. And this feeling kept repeating itself since J2. Kind of helpless against such, yet perhaps not the cause.

Was out today and my schoolmates said that i've lost weight. Quite very true, and as confirmed by the bathroom scale. Haiz. Maybe if this keeps on, i might become a bag of bones by the time the exams are over.

Everytime i met up with my friends that have graduated, i really felt foolish for wasting a whole year of opportunities (coz i retained). I really wanted to work, so that i could reap what i sow. Ya.. those working will agree that working sucks.. but then.. total finacial independence is what i aimed for. Though i stopped receiving allowance and paid for my school feels, some of the bills and insurance are not paid by me.. so finacial independence is what i seek.. and finally financial freedom in the not very far future. Living on passive income is perphaps one of the common goals of the common people.. but it is by no means easy (considering the kind of life i yearn for after retiring, and the age i might decide to retire). CPF is IMO just to make sure that people can be indepedent financially, not really freed. Of coz, if i'm the sole winner for the coming 10 mil toto angbao draw, it'll be a different story... in my dreams ba.. lol.

Still not recovered fully.. but at least a bit better.. better than it getting worse.. and just in time, coz i need to be studying soon.. 1 year is already too much.