That Saturday

Saturday, and i spent most of my time practicing on my baobei horn. Inspired by my neighbour (the unit next to my room) and i can hear him/her playing the horn diligently. So i took out my baobei horn and practice too.. perhaps paiseh, i plugged my mute in so that my neighbour can't hear me.

Practiced on a few set pieces, and actually found them to be manageable.. but i guess i was wrong. Then i moved on to a horn concerto, a piece which i bought during 2001 WMC. (my dream of playing a concerto someday..)

Was off to boonlay again for actual practice. Asked "iris" (the bus guide) and she gave me the wrong info.. in the end, missed the bus again and got to wait for additional 15 mins or so. Thankfully the bus ride is rather smooth.

Reached and found that mr Jacomo is conducting for the day. Played the few pieces that i practiced at home.. but i couldn't deliver. It was, afterall, only quater notes are involved.. but i just couldn't feel the pulse.. keep playing on a different pace entirely.. i do agree the strings are great players.. i just, can't feel it. (with reference to feeling the tempo of the orchestra........)

Perhaps i'm not used to playing in an orchestra.. but .. but.. i'm supposed to be able to. Just that already made me quite disappointed.

Was the only horn yesterday, coz my colleague won't be participating for the concert. I'm alright being alone, just the occasional feeling of tiredness coz of playing the 1st part. But won't be very glad to be alone.

Thought it ended when it was time.. but then, they wanted to rehearse the concerto (i think) for Nestor Torres on the coming september concert. I'm so glad that he really came to conduct us.. even so to be playin a piece with us.. but.. i really don't want to disappoint anybody. It was sight-read for me.. wouldn't say it's difficult.. just the range is a bit high, with quite a few notes on the high "A".. and needed to transpose coz the piece is written in "G".. omg.. i think, it was a long long time since i did anything like this.. And i think, playing with the strings created some pressure on me... they are very good, and i think, i can't even match their sound quality. In the end, i just sat there, too stunned to do anything. Again, was feeling quite disappointed with myself.

It's just so different.. even more so playing in a piece with the horn as the only brass instrument. I think, i feel rather sad.

So it ended after a run, and left after things were done.. (if i did any contribution). Sat a the bus stop, too stunned to do anything (bus also didn't want to come..) So sat and sat... till the bus came 15 mins later.

Well.. i didn't enjoy it at all, because i didn't deliver. I didn't contibute at all. Sigh.

Borrowed the piece home, i have a week before the next practice, and i have 2 more weeks before the concert.. i must be able deliver by then.. and perhaps, not only musically. Time to do some work.