How Should I Put It?

Lunar New Year coming ! Looking forward.. especially the special steamboat, with the aww in it.. haha.. a lot of steamboats coming my way.. lol.. i love steamboats~! Ate a lot of new year goodies until i got a bit sick.. having sore throat but kept singing in front of my comp.. haha.. no wonder i couldn't recover. And of coz.. couldn't have anymore chocolates.. didn't know where's the link... but tend to get pimples after eating .. haiz.. so.. trying to resist the temptation.. haha.. but just had a mini mango..wahaha.. real mini..

Anyway.. today is the last lesson of my year 1 course in SIM.. how sad.. haiz.. i miss my tuesdays in school..especially my maths/stats.. anyway.. was rather bothered today.. i didn't know why.. but had too much to think about.. or thinking too much? In the end didn't have mood to study.. don't know why.. i'm not being indecisive.. just not really comfortable at the way i'm being treated.. and of coz.. i'm seen the other spectrum.. the one closer to me.. but then again.. can two people of the same spectrum be comfortable with each other? Quiet and reserve.. intelligent and diligent.. but all these created to ice that i couldn't break.. so here i am.. waiting for it to melt.. i know i have a lifetime.. but sometimes it seems i don't have endurance.. the coldness.. haiz.. kind of dishearten me.. anyway.. so near yet so far.. being on the same spectrum.. i also didn't have to courage to move.. at the first sign of trouble.. and i'll back off.. and it happens way too many times.. from secondary till now.. and my fear is.. it'll happen again.. I have the urge to tell, but i can't.. too much is at stake.. and the newly forged friendship is what i didn't want to break.. just that i miss my tuesdays in school.. all the way till after mock exams.. and till then, i still don't know what i want.. or rather, what people want.. the placebo wasn't a placebo after all.. i knew it all along..

Didn't have lessons.. so could find time to blog all i want.. haha.. intending to buy a new phone.. coz the t-610 really sux.. though i liked its design.. but the OS really can't make it.. Nope. i'm not going to study for my mock exams.. i need motivation.. being in the library doesn't mean i'm studying.. it just mean that the weather is getting a bit too warm.. haha.. anyway, paid 4k for the school fees.. might as well use its facilities... haha.. Might be going to school tomorrow to sleep in the library again.. wahahaa..