On My Own

It still revolves around work - My family, my future.

The one of the staff went on extended leave, and i was left to take over, if not all. Expectation rose, and as if i can 以一敌百, things were more or less diverted to me. I've been holding on, coz i know i can. A very stressful beginning, as things picked up. Plenty of things that are nice to complete, but not so important are left undone. It isn't easy to just take over.. it is so for the inventory, even more so for the company. I need time, and sometimes, time is not always on the same side.

Don't know whether i'll take up the inventory too.. perhaps i just want to 置身事外. or perhaps i don't want to take up too much time just doing inventory. I've got so much to change, and it all takes time.

Want to stay on after work (sometimes i do work after work) but i'm just lazy at times. Of coz, over-worked drains much energy.. and energy is replenished by rest.. where got so much time?

Sometimes, i just want to do away with this nepotism thing and do things on my own.. but if i can't even support myself, what more are dreams?

Of coz, there is a balance to be reached. I know it is out there somewhere..

Vader Day

Vader day came, and it was a mini celebration, if that was what it was.

Actually we already did a celebration 2 weeks before.. lol.. just that the vader wasn't around.

Early morning, stock check was suspended on account of vader day.. hence, i had time to attend band practice.

They played "Andrew Lloyd Webber: A Symphonic Portrait" for sectionals, and how it reminded me of secondary school band days. We played the same piece too.. just that i was much younger and inexperience at that time. Hopefully i can deliver better this time round.

"Omens of Love" was kind of disappointing.. coz i liked the original version. More difficult, but nicer a whole lot more.

Of coz, i still like to play the trumpet one of these days.

Went library after lunch, and borrowed one of the dummies book again.. will i be able to keep it going? I've got so much that i want to do, but am quite turned off by the task..

Back to the dinner, it was tze char again at the opposite block.. lol.. i liked the food there as well.. perhaps it was salty?

So nice to have everyone there.

Happy vader's day!

Kung Fu Panda

It was so so funny..

I liked the plot as well.. how well it linked.. nice. Just too bad it was a 1st row seat.. lol.. but i really enjoyed it.

Solace

Seems like i'm moving on quite a lot lately. Plenty of decisions to make, and it isn't easy to make the best decision. IMO, there are OC in any decisions made, and the variables are sometimes not perfect substitutes.

Just today, i received a call just as i was about to go out. The call was for me to return to the workshop for work. Well.. it was quite sian to be honest. Yet to ask others to go, it is just transferring the sian-ness to others. I didn't.. and for that, i knew i could overcome.

Said i always had a spare batt.

Just unlucky that one mit tried to cut into the filter lane at the last moment, and forced me to ebrake. 赤兔马 neighed for the 1st time.. and the tau huay become cai huay. Luckily the container was sealed tightly, nothing was spilled.. just pek chek that why some drivers are so irresponsible. They don't care for the safety of others at all.

At least i found solace when i reached.

& Back..

Finally back to posting on this old old online journal of mine. Yes, there is actually very little time to do all the things we want in life, and since there is opportunity cost in the time we've vested in, there are bound to be regrets. To be with someone that i love, i guess the OC was lowered till it was negligible.

Attribute some to the micro blogging like twitter and fb status update.. plus, the ease of updating with iPhone and Blackberry.. things are never the same again. They move, and we must too.

But i like it here.. at least i can rant for more than 140 letters in a single post.

Sunday, and one of my band colleague got married. Early in the morning, it rained. Thought it was going to be alright went i set off at 10am.. but it rained again. "赤兔马" got drenched .. and i couldn't see clearly. Saw plenty of them switching the hazards on, and i did so too. Just in case they hoot 赤兔马. Was travelling at 20km/hr or something like that.. and so i was late =P

Got to the destination safely, also thanks to friends who directed me to the carpark.

The banquet was rather unique. For the first time, i got to perform in a brass quintet during a banquet. To think that we only got a day to practice.. lol.. i think it was really nice, espcially i'm playing with a new team. I like the way it is.

Plenty of other items too, some nice, some cute.

Don't know why i've been tearing quite a bit lately.. even during the performance too. Gave the impression that i'm so happy for my friend that i'm shedding tears of joy. But no, the doc says it might have something to do with the SA.

Had a very full lunch, coz the table left only 8 of us towards the end. Was already 4 pm when all was done.

Wanted to settle in somewhere nice on a sunday afternoon.. r&r.. but was disrupted shortly after. Sigh.. i don't know what is the reason, but i was rather unhappy for a while. I guess the 金箍圈 really tightens itself at times. But even without the 金箍圈, i'm still oblidged to fulfill.

For once, 赤兔马 was running in full caps, but with so many cooks, the soup gone bad really quickly.

Had a heavy dinner with my ext. family. 3 tables.. but due to last minute planning, the last table was only 60% full. So in the end we had plenty of food... really plenty.

A full day indeed.

赤兔马

Backdated Entry:

Finally the car came.. proudly sponsored by the CF. Where on earth do i get the moolas to buy one? Also, a car is a depreciating asset in general.. plus, i do enjoy sleeping on buses.. so this is not really justified.

However, being on such an appointment, it is a requirement.. of coz, just as how some people justified for their salary. Perhaps, i also need some form of dignity when i discuss things with customers.

With the moola gone, the horse arrived. It was a bit of red, a bit of brown, and a bit of maroon.. that kind of chocolate cake colour. Since the catalog says it was red, i shall name it "赤兔马" . So much powerful it was, compared to the kuti chia, and of coz, it ate more. It ate moolas and drank petrol till my pocket got another hole.

Slowly, it will be 'decorated' by all sorts of items.. and after 10 years, they will all be gone, like the horse.

Hopefully, it does serve some more important issues other than my mode of transport. Of coz, driving to boonlay is a different story. I can reach in 15-20 mins.. compared to a 90 mins bus - train - bus ride.

It does covert moolas into time.. then i have to convert my time into moolas. As i put it, "i drive to work, and i work to drive".

On

Had been quite a while again.. yet this time it was for a different reason.

Felt obliged to take care of myself even more, so as not to let people around me worry. Especially so was the drinking and all.. really, all the money and health in, this is not a very 'profitable biz'.

Will be going butter tonight.. but will be leaving early. Performance at Tampines early in the morning the following day.

Didn't had much sleep the night before due to the espresso.. managed a mere 3 hour rest. I guess it will be the same for tonight as well.

The performance at MG will be quite a different experience once again.. i don't feel like thinking about it.. just hoping that monday will come soon.

Plenty of things going on for the month of may, now that april is coming to an end. I've got to take the kuti chia for checkup / overhaul, perhaps taking myself for an overhaul as well in the coming 2 to 3 month's time.. plus going tpy for 'shopping and lucky draw'.. and also getting a new start for the chocolate factory. Come end of may, sis will be back, and most probably helping up at the CF.

简单爱

我想就这样牵着你的手不放开 =)

Moderate

Been so long since i last clubbed. Guess must be that i'm old.. and old liao cannot drink too much. Or perhaps i don't know. But it seems that i'm not as energetic.

So nice that they sang "love in the 1st degree".. coz last night, i was dreaming..

Even though so, they finished 2 bottles... and i got the ball-bearings in 2 seconds! They must have kept spares for people like me.. kept pestering them for ball bearings. And everytime, i was reminded by the same joke. Guess that was one of the best.

Band resumed the following day, and had not much to sleep. Reached slightly late, but was in time for sectionals. Glad that i need not go around as things fall into place. Band ended quite abruptly, and before i got to know, only the few of us were there. Had lunch at JP before returning back to SCC. Had to save on parking and petrol, so i parked my car at SCC instead.

The trip home was kind of smooth, coz traffic is rather light. The kuti chia broke the 100 km record.. and i was home in a while.

Touched and go, and was otw to Sim Lim to help with the purchase of another CPU. A complete system w/o OS cost around 500.. that is including a 20" LED monitor. Somemore better than mine.. lol.

Thought i could help ah T check out the laptop as well, but it was time to go before he reached. The whole family was with me.. so cannot let people wait lor..

Reached woodlands to fix up the CPU, and really, looks rather professional.. like those delivery man like that.. lol. Was rather late when it was over, and my colleague treated me to a sumptous dinner. Jap food... again. LOL.. was perhaps the 3rd time having it, but was liking it still. Paiseh leh.. and espcially the kid.. kept asking about the skywalker.

More Than Words

2 weeks

I don't know why.. but 2 weeks seems a bit long nowadays..

Super Long CNY

I guess this is as much as PH can get - 4.5 days.

Working on saturdays meant that the only long weekend i can get is either the PH falling on Saturday, or on monday - a maximum of 2 days the most.. which is the same as a 'normal' weekend.

So for this CNY, it is super packed. Tiring i guess, but quite delighted.

A few changes here and there, and for this year, we didn't harm any sharks. It was substituted with lotus dessert. Still, home cooked food is the best, especially grandma's cooking.

3rd day of cny, grandpa went msia, and so i stay over at grandma's place. I was well-equipped though.. with my blackberry, netbook, mobile broadband, AOW, rubik's cube and all.. lol.. Coz i slept rather late, so had to find things to do w/o fast speed internet connection.

4th day of cny, usually we had to go work.. but as it falls on a sunday, we didn't have to. The downside is that we won't be getting any red packets.. lol. It was house warming at my other uncle's place.. and for the 1st time, i saw neighbours sharing buffet. It was coincidental, but they agreed to share. Set off in the afternoon to fetch my colleague, no wrong turns and i reach rather early. Grandpa wasn't back yet, so i had to stay over at grandma's place after dinner. Since i haven't been blogging.. so why not.

CNY had been great. In the past, it was the red packet.. then it became the festive food i'm looking forward to. But now, i am happy just to be with my family and relatives.

January - Closing

January ending, and so far, so good.

I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone again, and for the 1st time in 2 years in CF, i've actually went on a mobile assignment. So much that i've learnt in the workshop, and just so much that it complements.

And thus, i can appreciate what was being done. By our staff, by the workers.

Wished to have a bit more exposure on site, but it wasn't granted as yet. Well, there is only so much that can be done as of now.

Closing 2010, Opening 2011

2010 had been a slightly better year.. at least work had settled down.

There isn't much to close on 2010, coz i didn't put any resolution at the starting of 2010! I guess i was really kind of depressed over work the other time. At least, not anymore.. for now.

At least towards the end of 2010, i knew what was what, all thanks to the AOW. A really good book indeed, till at times, i was so obsessed with it, just as with ROTK.

So for 2011:

- I hoped to enroll in some work related courses (and can get tax rebate too!)

- Push for computer literacy in the workplace, and hopefully, a domain for the co. website

- Create a better working environment, and with that, a higher quality staff

- Progress in both faith and music

- Upgrade on my work related knowledge

Other things being unforeseeable and therefore cannot be in my resolution.. for example, earning 10% return PA in investments.. well, it depends on the market and such.. so bo bian.

Well.. looking back, 2010 had been a rather peaceful year indeed. Hopefully 2011 can be a year of abundance.. lol.. coz i'm greedy.

Best Job in the World

Been wanting to post this, but kept procrastinating. At least, i thought i shouldn't have, but sometimes the kind of helplessness is really a bit too much.

But someone's got to do it.

I don't like to be in this situation. Seems like a zero sum game.

Not usual stuff i would say, coz there is no requirement like this.

Extremely challenging task that is, just like any other job, except, you get to see your boss even after work.

Didn't like the idea of working with family members since young.. conflict sometimes get carried over, and that earning from the same source is just too risky. Totally no diversification at all. In a way, i'm uncomfortable with it.

Yet it all seems fated. I'm not saying that this is not good.. but it wasn't what i thought it was to be. In fact, the whole lot of decisions made in the past wasn't geared for this at all. Was able to attend the 1st science class during secondary school (i managed a 23rd for the whole level), but i chose accounts instead. Came college, i chose Science instead of Arts.. coz they stopped the commence course altogether. Not very well versed in arts and lit, so had to make do with pure science. Didn't had much interest in physics that time, and so i didn't really studied for my exams. Still managed to get a full cert, but results wasn't good enough for engineering in the local Uni. Ended up in SIM, where i took my degree in Banking and Finance from UOL.

But, i ended up in a company with its interest in engineering. Of coz, i could have chosen elsewhere, but this is afterall, from the village. And i really thought i could have contributed in the admin side. My own wishful thinking that is, coz things weren't that simple at all.

I entered a line beyond my discipline, with all the staff carried over. There is plenty that i can do, yet a lot more that i can't.

No one will understand. At least, it is not just adding oil will do. It takes a lot more than that. Not just willing, but must be able as well.

There are choices out there, and choosing not to choose is a choice.

So whatever it is, there is a still a chance to make things happen. I don't want to give up just yet.

Merry Xmas

Was the 2nd or 3rd time performing in SIS under SSA. Was such a nice experience as always, and long hours of waiting as always. So the whole day was spent outside, from 8.30am till almost 12mn.

Yet i don't know why i was sulking throughout the whole day. Even my senior mentioned that i don't looked happy. Well, perhaps i was really tired.

Xmas came early. On xmas eve, the new mobile service vehicle came. The previous one was then sold to cover a bit on the super expensive COE. Was quite happy that this was my 1st involvement in preparing the vehicle for mobile service, and with the 4 of us, it took us almost half a day.

Rest for a bit before rushing off for xmas gathering with the sims. Since the year before, our gift exchange was "upgraded" to the wishlist system. So not surprisingly, i got what i want =). The only surprise was from whom, and which item from the list. Of coz, if the item is too general, the design counts too. So in a way, it wasn't boring at all. We all left quite early after watching tv.. well, i knew i must, coz of the performance the following day. And, it was going to be a long long day as always.

And i was right.

Luckily my colleague in the horn section came to support, if not i'd be so bored.. lol.

Night ended late with the shifting of instrument, and i was kind of appalled at the lack of control after the performance. I mean, the loading bay was so packed with people, and there wasn't enough space for all in. Well, as always with the management, there is always instruction being passed down, and by the time it reaches, there is nothing much one can control. The only thing one can do is to be there. But i was so glad there were so many of them there.

I was glad, for being there on the 25th.

Boxing day, and it was another round of family gathering. This time round, they had raw oysters, salmon sashimi, and a lot more super nice xmas food. I'm starting to like xmas more than cny le.. lol. I could have gotten myself a iphone or itouch.. but i guess i won't need it really. I don't have the time to play with it anyway.

I still have my ipod nano though.. i just need a dock to settle it down.. together with a nesspresso machine! Plus, a magic egg machine to put all the nesspresso capsule in. LOL.. This is my real wishlist.. but with a $20 caps, how do you expect me to put it in?

Happy bday to Pakki!

Time flies, pakki is already 4 years old le.

Happy bday pakki. May you be in good health always.

Why

As long as the wrong feels right, is it alright?

I just don't understand why.

I guess i was more of surprise than anything else. Perhaps shocked.

So while i thought i can still work with just 2 hours of sleep, i was so wrong. Vader gave permission for me to report late for work, and asked mum not to wake me up. Woke up with another shock, and it was already 9.30am. Was 10am by the time i reach the workplace, and really, it was not as if as i can do whatever i want. However, all of them seems to understand (or at least no one dares to ask why) i supposed. Nobody asked why.

Felt so bad for not setting good example.. but i see why it seems like a bed of Devil's Ivy.

I like to Move it..

Took part in some partial house moving during the PH, and it was really kind of tiring. Not the actual lifting itself, but going for the many many trips.

Spent half a day moving, and half a day a Ikea eating, courtesy of the owner.

Came Sunday, and again, i'm moving people and things. LOL.. band pract once again shifted from boonlay to tampines. The east seems nearer, but i always missed the PIE-CTE exit.

Band pract seems alright.. since i haven't been playing for quite a few months liao.. My tone changed drastically for the worse.. and i lost the embouchure too. So again, they chose "Haha".. a song which i am quite scared of playing actually.. lol.. coz i remembered the last time i played, i mis-pitch it as well. The D entry note is really kind of uncomfortable.. especially with the excessive tension of over preparing for the 1st note. As it goes, any piece with the horn playing the 1st note is a killer. The nut cracker, the wmc set piece and the solo rainbow. LOL..

So i failed twice in a row.. and then i started finding all sorts of excuses.. but the fact is, i wasn't trying hard enough. It became a convenient excuse really. Watched some shows on the BBC (accidentally), and really, not having a particular skill doesn't mean give one the reason to fail. It just meant that one has to work and try even harder than others.

I really wasn't trying.. it seems, i had shifted my attention elsewhere - work that is.

So while i am trying to find a way out, i missed the way out on the highway. Not once, but plenty of times. While i was trying to hope for a nearer exit, it always give the opposite. I ended up in outram.. lol.. how i also don't know. So i took my instrument on a ride, to many great places in town, and even to the backyard of Mr P. Just that there are far too many traffic lights in town, and i spent quite some time waiting for my turn.

This is quite silly.. but at the same time quite a nice experience. At least it isn't as bad as i thought.. and really, sg is super small.

Ah T

Ah T came as a replacement, and indeed, locals can't even match them in terms of ability and salary. Like that how to compete?

But then again, willingness and ability are two different things.. plus, sometimes, some seemingly smart people will do stupid things too.

In anycase, i think some are just too complacent le.. as the poster say, 'no crime doesn't mean no crime', and as it goes, no wonder the youngsters are hacking each other. Since when are we heading back to the 60s? Nothing better to do than to risk one's life for the sake of "brotherhood"? Tio hoot probably. Somemore don't know whose brother. Perhaps they all ain't heavy.

So while i am also wondering what i am defending as a sgrean, i do still consider this my home.. most probably coz i haven't been to elsewhere. I might like to have a different kind of life. Yet as if seems, i can't even fight for what i want here, however basic it might be to the others. Just becoz we are small. And it seems even smaller as people are pouring in. Having faced all the Ns, Bs, and Ts whole day long at my workplace, i still can find them at my void deck, playing badminton! Argh... not my badminton court too! So tell me.. where we are, and who are we?

And i not 厉害.. coz if i 厉害, i would have earned a lot. So don't tell me 你厉害你来 wor.

I have been wondering.. Since they are so talented, why not let in our closet? Highly likely that we are not prepared.

Would really love to see the outcome.. coz youngsters these days don't really care a dime. They have great aspirations.. so they don't care who did what.. only what they did. I think this is the reason why they own.